How long do you stay?

If you are with a guy who says he loves you, but isn't willing to drive all the way to your house to spend with you. But wants you to drive to where he is. Is that worth staying? Because he says he is broke but he has money to buy himself new vans shoes. When something about him bothers you and you are trying to communicate it to him, he tells you, you complain too much. Do you still stay? How long is long enough? Do you still hold on to his promises? His words? Or do you block his number and just move on? Mentally I am told to move on, but emotionally I am told to stay. What would you do if you were me?

Updates:
Through some arguing, hanging up of phone calls and majority communication we are working it out. It is shellfish of me to say he can't buy things for himself. But he is coming up to see me more and talking things out with me. My emotions wins this round.
I thank you for your honest comments! (:
maybe you guys are right... its just so hard sometimes you know? but its taking a toll on me emotionally and mentally... I don't want a guy who gives excuses... I thought I could work it out and I thought he wanted to change. but I guess I was wrong.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • aaah here's another situation where this good saying comes to mind.

    "Do not listen to what we say, see what we do."

    As a man I can not agree more. I am guilty as the next guy when I say something but I don't DO it. We men tend to do is more than we should. So keep a tight lid on your ears and observe more of our actions. Is the guy calling you, visiting you, taking you out on fun adventures, tickling you, ANYTHING!

    Any guy can say "I love you." But a man leads you to love with his actions.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I'd rather go with my gut feelings.

    Actions speak louder than words, and dump the guy because he just isn't up to the task. I'd rather move on, because that's why my instincts tell me.

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  • Why should he have to change? Just because he wants to be with you less than you want to be with him doesn't discount the fact that he just might have feelings for you that are truthful and valid. Maybe he never gets a chance to miss you and so takes for granted that you will come visit. Let him sweat. Give him the chance to make it happen or else it will NEVER happen.

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  • First off what are van shoes...second the boy is selfish...if he can't come to you then he's not worth ur time...and what's makes a strong relationship...is communicate with each other..

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    • Vans shoes are the skater brand shoes which cost a lot depending on the shoes it could range from 60 to 90 bucks...

  • Go with your gut feeling, if I were you.

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What Girls Said 8

  • move on.

    justin's 3hours away from me and broke

    and still manages to see me.

    not allll the time maybe once a month but he still comes and sees me when he can

    and would NEVER tell me I complain too much if I were telling him a problem of mine.if I were bitching about it being too hot or I don't want to be walking or I don't want to be at the store then yea he'd say something like that but if I'm opening up to him, he'd never say something like that.move on hunnie.he isn't worth the trouble.you can spend your entire life trying to make this work or you can spend it looking for someone who wants to treat you right

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  • This all depends on YOU and what you are willing to put up with in a relationship. When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was the one putting in all the effort - driving to his place, sending him texts/emails, doing things he loved that I honestly couldn't care for (i.e. video games). It was SO frustrating, and I always told myself I was going to end it.

    But here's the truth - he was the first guy who made me work for him. I was always used to having guys do EVERY thing for me - but what happened to them? I got bored. With my boyfriend, he kept me wanting more. So, for me, it worked.

    Now, 15 months later, we live together and are in love. The only difference now is that I can tell him what bugs me and he actually cares and will put effort into me. He still has some of his same ol' traits that make me "work", but again, that has kept me wanting more, kept me from being bored. So it all depends on what is going to work for you. Good luck!

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    • Whenever I hear about something like this I always wonder why I'm nice to girls. The whole total lack of caring thing sounds so much easier you know? Anyone else like that? How's this working out for you guys like that?

  • Ive been here before, when me and my ex-boyfriend/baby's father first started going together it was always me coming to him and him not coming to me...all I can say is that if you love him and wanna make it work tell him how you feel, after so long I stopped coming to him and I told him if he wanted us to see each other that he needed to come to me, and it got better over time, good enough for us to go together for 3 1/2 years and we would still be together now but since I've gotten prego its been down hill so I broke it off. If he can't come to you or listen to you when you have problems then y'all don't need to be together cause no communication nor seeing each other it will never work...

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  • Good job, girl. You can get better than him

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  • MaxPrime said it hun...actions speak waaayyy louder than words. I would dump the loser if I were you

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  • Personally I'd be re-evaluating your relationship. If he loves you he'd come see you. To me it sounds like he is selfish and over you and too afraid to dump you so he's trying to make you dump him.

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    • It funny I tried so many times to dump him... but he always comes back saying I'm sorry, I love you, your my heart, I will change for you... and me being the stupid one always believe what he tells me... but I think I had the last of it... really... its so draining...

    • I know the feeling but you deserve someone who actually loves you and can put the effort into seeing you.

  • I say dump him,

    But if that's not what your gut is staying, that follow your gut.

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  • He's not worth staying. I mean, if the guy's feelings is strong, he will save some money to drive to you to see you. Or at least asking to meet somewhere (midpoint) and spend time with you.

    It sounds to me like your boyfriend does not love you anymore. Have you talked about this to him?

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