How can a man go from being "intimate" with one woman to being "intimate" with another in the blink of an eye?

To make a long story short, I was seeing this guy for a couple of months and we were being both physically and emotionally intimate. He recently decided to try to work things out with his ex, which he claims was completely unplanned. Anyway, what I don't understand is how he can go from being with me to being with her so quickly. The thought of the two of them together makes me ill, history or not. I also find it interesting that she's so forgiving of the fact that he was with me. Also, he wants to keep in touch because he feels as though we have a lot in common. Whatever that means. Help please! I don't understand men.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Seems to me he was never really over her, else he wouldn't have been so easy to go back to her and continue on with a physical/emotional relationship. And the same for her, that she has forgiven him. Whatever they had, wasn't really ready to be over.

    Him wanting to keep in touch with you sort of has me thinking that he does like you quite a bit, but wants to keep you around in case things don't work out with her again. By giving you just enough to keep you pining for him, he can be sure you'll wait for him to make up his mind.

    Its up to you if you want to be on standby or not...personally, Id move on. I want a man who is devoted to me physically and emotionally.

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    • I agree, they clearly weren't over each other. In fact, I found out that they still had the keys to each other's places after 7 months. I also had no idea that, according to him, that she was still contacting him. I'm moving on.

    • Oh goodness...yeah, that mustnt have been easy to take when you found all that out. Its a great to hear you're moving on...thats nothing to stay involved in.

What Guys Said 2

  • You're making the classic mistake of confusing "sex" with "intimacy"

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    • I could be but I don't think so. I've had purely physical relationships in the past and this was definitely different. As a thirty-something year old woman I'd like to think that I know the difference between sex and intimacy. If it was just about sex he put forth tremendous effort. Plus, I've never had a purely sexual relationship that included things that are clearly construed as dating. Moreover, I don't take "sex" to work events, I take someone that has future potential and he did.

  • Well it's the same for women... A few weeks ago I was talking to a girl I loved and we both seemed so close. Now we have split up because I saw her kissing her ex yesterday.

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What Girls Said 1

  • girrrrl. he is playing you.

    well, in my eyes...

    tell him if he wants to work it out with his ex, to do it.

    but if he doesn't want to take the chance with you now -- then I don't think he deserves you at all.

    don't give him the benefit of the doubt that if it doesn't work with his ex, at least he has the opportunity to come back to you...

    does that make sense?

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