Is there such a thing as what YOU shouldn't say when a girl asks if you find her beautiful/attractive?

I always tend to take questions in a very straight way.

And this girl I know might like me, she always says how happy she is to have spent some time with me doing whatever activity we like doing, and I find her always checking me out by looking at me.

But she's not exactly super attractive; she's like a 7/10, -3 points because she's short, super skinny and has tiny breasts.

So when she asked me if I thought she was beautiful. I said absolutely because I didn't want to hurt her feelings by giving my honest "assessment".

See, maybe it's because I'm engineering, when someone asks for my input, I just tell them what I think straight away.

So I was wondering, would I be considered a jerk if I were to say something like

1 "Yeah sort of"

but then she might ask WHY NOT and then I'd have to go into specifics.

2 "Quite attractive"

3. "You look great with regard to parts X, Y and Z, but your part A lacks in this... and could be that... or most men would find that you lack this... etc" Like a full blown analysis of a chasis.

4. Yes. But I am not sure about your ethnicity since I feel it might mean our cultures are incompatible for a long term relationship etc.

I guess those are the sorts of things one SHOULDN'T say right?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • hmmn first of all id never ask any guy, whether someone I like or just a guy friend, if they think I'm attractive or not

    sometimes its not necessary to know...u know?

    id rather let things happen on their own, like if I meet a guy...and we both act like we like each other...theres chemistry, flirting, attraction...its like you automatically get the hint they think ur good looking, and they soon begin to form interest in you to get to know you further...its a step by step process, and that's how it should be...

    i would never take the short cut and jump ahead in asking a particular guy 'hey do you think I'm beautiful?' its just not common and inappropriate...id never wanna risk losing my esteem...id rather NOT know what some guy is thinking about me if its bad...if that makes any sense...

    but I guess if it does occurr, yes those things you listed are bad to say...id defnitely be hurt...but its a half and half situation, because you wanna be honest too and still not hurt her...so I suggest you make it obvious ur not interested in more than friendship, and let her know she's just a friend...u shouldnt have to tell her the truth RIGHT AWAY, only if she asks for it, then be honest...if she gets your message/hint that you don't want anything more than friendship, she probably won't bother you again or ask if you think she's pretty or not, just keep it simple and step by step...and answer if she asks something...u don't have to jump at it to defend your reasoning WHY you're not interested in her or WHY you don't think she's good looking...

    hope this makes sense =] and gluck

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What Girls Said 2

  • I for one like to hear the truth, even if it is hurtful, it's better than being led on. I think if you don't find her attractive and don't want to date her or whatever, you should let her know (but obviously in a nice way) because if you keep telling her things like "yes, you're beautiful" and you don't mean it, you get her hopes up...and the situation becomes even more awkward later on.

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  • You don't have to be super critical of a girl just because she is not your fantasy type. 7/10 isn't even that bad just because she's not perfect. Granted she should also not be needy and ask some random guy if she is pretty, but no offense you should use your head and think about her feelings before you answer the question. She is obviously insecure and giving her your "honest assessment" would be more cruel and hurtful than anything else.

    Just say yeah you're pretty but don't make it sound as if you like her beyond just being a nice girl.

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What Guys Said 0

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