Girls: Need to attract a man out of my league!

I am a highly tattooed and pierced young lady with a personality to match, and recently I have fallen for a friend that is very straight laced. To bring this more into focus I wore a black and red striped short dress and combat boots yesterday, while he wore a black shirt and khaki shorts.

How do I get him to even consider me a prospect? Should I tone down my look to ask him out? How do I ask him out without fully compromising who I am and what I feel comfortable in?

Updates:
I asked him out (and I didn't compromise), guess what? He already called...Thank you guys so much, I love this site.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think there is an advantage for the different clothing style. It's easier for you to distinguish between which ones are yours and his when you pick them of the floor in poor lighting ;)

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What Guys Said 6

  • Well, as I am sure you already understand, compromise is just part of a relationship. But you are who you are, so do not go and change just to get this guy, you will just be short changing yourself. He is already your friend so he most likely does not have an issue with the way you look. Being a "straight laced" guy myself, I kind of like the freaky girls. There is even a chance that he thinks that a girl like you would not want to date a guy like him. This is a little preachy, but remember to not judge the book by it's cover. Also, opposites do sometime really attract. Go for it, put the signals out their and see what happens. If that does not work ask him out on a date. Keep it simple like, "Want to go to dinner with me?".Good luck.

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  • I think the way you are and how you act makes you unique. People might get a different perception of you, but that's just how people will be. I think your pretty cool if that's how you dress and that's your lifestyle. It's unique to you, and he should like you for you, not for how you dress.

    But remember that how you present yourself is in important aspect that people look into when they start dating. People who dress gothic or who have numerous tattoos are becoming more and more accepted in our society, but it's not for many people. I would suggest letting him know of your feelings. And if he can't accept or look past your exterior side, then he really isn't worth it. And it will be his loss. Good luck.

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    • Thank God! I want a government job eventually, and apparently THEY are getting less stringent, but I want to work for Fish and Wildlife in the US, so they expect us to be little hippies anyway. Thanks!

  • If he realy likes girls it's simple: Be healthy and sexy -- and never be a flake. Flakes are so common these days -- a decent guy, who is not himself a flake -- will give almost any young healthy lady a chance if she is fun, honest, and follows through with what is planned. Be yourself, upfront and honest -- know what you want, and respect him as you should yourself. (I don't think, however, that once you know someone, that sometimes dressing in a way that pleases someone you love, is "fullly compromsing' oneself -- but rather showing you care enough to go out of the way for them).

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  • Don't make it about your clothes or his clothes... Clothes really don't make the person, personality does.

    If you really want to test the water tease him about being 'straight laced" a bit and then make a bet with him about something trivial and that if you lose you'll wear a dress and heals, if he loses you get to pick something "out there" for him to wear...

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  • what's a tattooed and pierced personality?

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  • tone down seriously but still show ur personality

    show off your booty girl:)!

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What Girls Said 6

  • I understand you have fallen for this guy, but you should definately feel comfortable about being yourself around him too.

    How far do you want this relationship to go if lets say you asked him out and you started a relationship with him. Would it just be a not serious dating spree or would he be someone you are planning on going long-term with?

    If you change yourself to be with someone, you are being someone in appearance who is not natural for your personality and they might either fall in love for someone you're not, or fail to realise to love you for who you really are.

    I think that you should wear what you think looks beautiful, and express yourself as how you feel most comfortable. If a girl feels beautiful and being herself, she would feel confident and beautiful, guys like this confidence very much (Not too much of it so it explodes your ego) but enough to show you have that inner happiness and satisfaction, it's very sexy in a sense and I think if you want to date him and have these feelings for you too, you need to show him yourself and let him love you, for you.

    You're already friends with him so I'm pretty sure he does very much like you for who you are already. I'd say go ahead and ask him if he wants to go out sometime, don't change yourself at all, take things as they come along. That's what I'd do in this situation. He should like/love you for who you are inside as well as your appearance, as you sound like a very creative and an interesting/fun girl to be with.

    Show him that side of you and have a great time together, being you.

    All the best to you and good luck :-)

    X

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  • Well, first stop thinking that he's out of your league - he's just playing in a different ball field.

    Just because he appears more conservative than you doesn't mean he wouldn't be willing to give you a chance. Maybe he wishes he could walk a little on the wild side but due to personal reasons, can't? You can't know what he wants without asking.

    Changing who you are to get someone you want does you a great disservice - what happens when one day you get tired of pretending? And why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you exactly the way you are?

    Stay positive until the situation shows otherwise, you never know what kind of person is behind the mask until you get to know them better. Being "straight laced" may make him crave something a little more spicy, give it a shot and see. But remain true to yourself all the time - what you have to offer is way better than faking it. No man is worth losing that.

    Good luck

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  • i guess see what type of girl he's into first. I mean, I usually am dressy and I am high maintenance I admit that and I like trends/ fashion so I think it ry to find aguys who are also trend setters or trend followers because that' smy thing. see what he likes and what you're comfortable with changing but remember to change yourself for yourself-it ain't for a man. I wouldn't change myself for a guy...EVER

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  • Good for you babe..I'm heavily tattooed and pierced myself and going out with a very straight laced guy. Watch out for em, there's a lot going on under that exterior!

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  • I don't think you should ever have to compromise your style for someone else. He probably digs your look anyway, so just ask him out!

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  • Oh, I was going to give advice, but then I just saw the update so now I'll say congratulations. :)

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