Guys, would you pursue a girl and have no intention of having sex with her even if you end up in a serious relationship? Be honest!?

I know that a lot of men pursue girls and they're ultimate goal is to get the award and sleep with her. Even the girls whom they genuinely like and are looking to have a serious relationship with. Would you pursue a girl and not have sex in mind?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What do you mean 'even girls they genuinely like and are looking to have a serious relationship with'? Sexuality is -one of- the key parts in a serious relationship.

    Sex isn't an award. If she doesn't have a real desire to be sexual with me, I wouldn't be interested in going on a single date with her. We're friends at most, period.

    I didn't think this way as much as a teenager, where my long term goals were vague, but that's because I'd been brainwashed to ignore sex and sort of assume it would magically happen 'later' and work out if you love each other. It does not magically work out if you love each other, and it matters, a lot, and is a core part, for me, in feeling wanted, loved, close and desired.

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    • But sex isn't the most important. If everything else is perfect and no sex shouldn't it not matter? What if she doesn't do sev

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    • Yeah but I'd be contented with it:$

    • Because for those of us that value sex and our partners sexual desire, romance is more
      Than affection. It's an expression of mutual desire. Without the desire it feels fake.

      It isn't a mini rejection if she doesn't want you. It's a mini rejection if it's too soon, it she's waiting for religious reasons. For most men (and many women in a similar way) to be unwanted sexually is to be unwanted as a man. You feel no different than a pet or helpful friend to her.

      I will say again - for people who crave sex romance is impossible without mutual desire. It doesn't exist. They are inseparable.

What Guys Said 22

  • Well, sex is not automatically and the only thing in our minds. Not all guys are like that. Sex is still something we expect at some point if the relationship is successful because sex is just part of a relationship. All humans get sexual attraction at some point when relationships get strong after a while. But don't look at it as if the only reason why guys go into relationships is just to get sex. It's not like that.

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    • guys can actually pursue a girl without expecting sex? what if you like her but she's not into that until at least marriage?

    • Some guys might have no problem with that and some might feel upset and possibly end the relationship. It depends on the guy. Like I said, not all guys expect sex early but they do expect it when it comes to marriage because that's a successful relationship.

    • Marriage yeah. If a guy dumped me because I wouldn't have sex with him id be pissed. Seriously. He's really that shallow?

  • To be honest probably not. The first thing you know of a person is what you see. Obviously if you like what you see then you go about talking to them, seeing their likes and dislikes to see if you could have more than a friendship. I think the scenario you are talking about would work best in an online/long distance thing. But in a regular setting I have to be attractive.

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    • Are you saying that guys always have sex as they're goal when they pursue

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    • A virgin that won't discuss sex sounds like the excellent person for you.

    • I think about it but when I see people having sex I just think the guy is saying in his head that it's all he wants no matter how in love they make look. I also associate nice guys who are my type to be guys who wouldn't think about these lol

  • The ultimate goal of every pursue is getting closer. Getting close and closer leads to sex. Whether u start it in any way it will always reach to sex and if could not reach there it will reach to breakup. If sex is not there in pursuing then nothing seroius is left there.

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    • Are you saying that when guys pursue they always have sex in mind? Could you not pursue a girl because you like spending time with her and no plan of sleeping with her?

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    • I meant to say i am very serious on this topic and not joking at all. U can start love without sex in mind. But when u go forward u find that love leads to sex. and we have to face it. At that point if we deny of sex , then love cannot go further and ends there.

    • you break up if you don't get sex is what you're saying?

  • Some men do. I was just reading this week about a woman who married twice with no pre-marital sex, and got no sex during each marriage either. She desperately wanted to enjoy sex during marriage and was lead to believe that would be the case. After her second divorce, she was still a virgin at 51

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    • Oh wow. Wheres did ou read that?

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    • Here's a link.www.dailymail.co.uk/.../...desperate-intimacy.html
      I found other cases like that on the internet, usually only married once. There's even a support group website to help such people.
      Do a Google search.

    • It's estimated that 1% of marriages in the USA are completely sexless, and never consummated. You could almost guarantee that those marriages involved the 7% or so of people who marry as virgins, so 1% out of 7% is a high figure. It's not always the man who is incapable of sex or has no sex drive. A healthy woman would then have a better than 93% chance of a sex life in marriage, if he married a virgin.

  • I think you might be asexual. You want a romantic relationship with no sex, that's something that asexual people seek. Or more likely you're saving yourself for marriage lol.

    If I really liked the girl and her personality drove me nuts in bursts of passion, then yeah I could see myself not rushing the sex part. But if we end up getting married, I'd kinda expect it then.

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    • I'm a virgin so idk. I'm just scared that once men get sex or whatever then it's done. You see so many guys tell girls they live them they have sec girl gets pregnant and guy ditches her

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    • It happens all the time. I understand but for me if a guy rally loves you then he shouldn't be bothered if it's boring as long as they're together? Am I wrong about that?

    • Well yeah he would be bothered. When men are single, they masturbate frequently. They would much rather have sex. When men are in a relationship, the need for masturbation shouldn't be strong at all. In your case, whenever he felt horny, he would have to masturbate since you're holding out on the sex. And some men find it sad/embrassing that they should have to masturbate when they have a gf. They want to do stuff with their gf. Now unfortunately, many men are hit and runs type. I'm sorry about those jackasses. But there also good guys who will do all the dating and emotional stuff and manage to be patient, but I don't recommend testing their patient too much. Men are horny and visual creatures and can grow bored after a while. You just have to see how long a man needs to wait for you to see his dedication and earn your trust.

  • No, definitely not. If I'm pursuing her it means I want her, which means also wanting to sleep with her. I think the only situation I would ever consider this was if I lost my penis in an accident and could never have sex again.

    It's not that sex is the 'ultimate goal' 'per se' - rather, it's just an intrinsic non-removable 'part of the package' of an overall goal that also includes the non-sex parts of a relationship.

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    • Dang this is why I avoid men. I guess I'm single lol

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    • Not all men are like that. I'm married and committed to staying in my relationship. (But the sex is an important part of that relationship to me.)

    • True

  • I am pretty sure I would eventually want to have sex with her and expect her to eventually want to have sex with me, it is honestly not an unreasonable expectation either. Vaginal sex is as natural as it gets.

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    • Yes but would you pursue a girl without thinking about ever hitting that?

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    • Why the limitation? You don't seem to know what it's like yet. It might be wasted potential for bonding.

    • Really, sex is about intimacy and affection. I don't understand why you don't see that.

  • no, of course not. if there is no sex, it's just platonic friendship. that's fine, but you don't "pursue serious relationships" with platonic friends.

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    • Well what happens if you're friends and he asks you out? That's not platonic.

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    • Depends on how and where he asks you out and how he behaves. Platonic friends go out for coffee or drinks all the time, doesn't make it romantic. If a guy asks you out on a proper date... he either already wants to bang you, or wants to get to know you to decide if he wants to bang you.

    • He asked me out at school. There was a grad field trip and he was asking if we could go to the mall together. We were looking at museums etc but we had one hour shopping. He was playful In a way. And when we had an unexpected dinner which wasn't planned he said it was a date. But he's a virgin and a nice guy. I don't think he'd want sex

  • Relationship is ALSO about having sex. Otherwise it is no serious relationship, it is friendship...

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  • If I'm interested in a girl... sex is part of my desire for her but isn't the sole thing i want.

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  • not have it in mind but soon or later it has to happen, If I didn't want sex I still have my best friends, thus are much funnier and better.

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    • what if it doesn't happen?

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    • Because men are always horny and they tell you they love you then you get pregnant and he's Mia no I'm not pregnant lol

    • then you gonna end alone. why you think so?

  • No if I pursue a girl I want to have sex with her!

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    • I'll be single hen lmao

  • Of cause not, I can have "no sex" with anybody any time, why pursue a specific girl for that!!!

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    • Because you like spending time with her and she's awesome

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    • Yes isn't it though? It seems like you only want sec. You said you wouldn't date her for years and marry so you can have sec with her. That's pretty shallow sorry.

    • No, I just got better options. Remember I am not religious, so abstaining from sex is not really a good thing for me. It is if you are religious though.

      However, why date for years, you date to get to know one another, once you do, you marry or break up.

  • No, they're completely inseparable. Can you imagine a guy wanting to be with you, but not interested in you sexually? That should make anyone feel like crap.

    If I'm interested in her relationship wise I'm equally interested sexually.

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    • Well you are attracted to her but that doesn't mean you need to have sex what if she's not into that?

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    • I don't have a stunning body I'm average but guys ask me out sometimes and I feel like I should avoid them. Thanks for clearing my thoughts.

    • That doesn't matter, there's always something to appreciate. And anytime.

  • yes only if we snuggle im weird like that just want to snuggle and hug just fucking weird ldk fuck it

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  • I am looking for a wife right now, so for me sex is not the ultimate goal. It's on my mind, but I push it to the back because I'm the kind of guy who wants to wait till I'm married for sex.

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    • You want a wife and to get married so you can have sex so yes I was just wondering it's seems like your goal tho it's okay I don't judge

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    • Wow, I'm impressed with your principle..

    • ?:$$:2)-5

  • I would chase a woman I think would make a good girlfriend and later on wife. Sex is over-rated.

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    • So you don't want to be her boyfriend or husband so you can get sex? Are you okay with her being your wife and not have sex?

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    • 1. Molan, you might not agree with someone's opinion but please respect it.

      2. Asker, I'm pretty sure you don't quite understand what I mean. But let me clarify, I don't really pursue women per say. I'm not desperate and desperate to sleep with a woman. I do date women and if I'm single and it works out great, but if it doesn't we'll be friends. I think it's over-rated because some people place sex as the #1 priority, and to me its not. But it sex important between a couple yes, but to me its not #1.

    • Would you be fine in a relationship if the girl doesn't want sex then?

  • of course not sex is important part in the relationship

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    • yes but are you saying you wouldn't pursue a girl without an intention of having sex with her?

  • Nope.

    Sex is DEFINITELY on the cards. It's just a matter of when. After or before marriage, after or before engagement, after or before dating.

    Lust is a huge part of a guy's affection towards a girl. Even if he set off with the purest of intentions, the moment he truly loves her, he wants to get in her pants.

    Doesn't work the other way though. Lust doesn't lead to love.

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    • The ment he loves he he wants to have sex with her? Babe that feels good when you do me like that doesn't sounds too romantic to me! Sounds like a horny guy not a loving guy

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    • Yeah it's up to how the girls look if the guy is attracted to her. Even before he develops feelings just admit that you guys are always horny creatures

    • Lol yea we are horny when we fall for a girl.

  • Probably the only one to say it but yes I actually would. There is much more to relationships than just sex and you can do so many romantic things together without that.

    Kissing I would expect though and I might enjoy just sleeping together since it's really romantic.

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    • Yess this!

    • So you could ask her out and not think about sex no matter how long you've been?

  • The only way that happens if I didn't have any intentions of going out with her.. and then I hung out with her as friends or what ever and started to develop feelings for her. Then I would just keep it as is.. I mean in that case I'd have spent so much time with her that it wasn't about sex...

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    • true but if you got in a serious relationship then would you expect it

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    • I say you can have a relationship without sex

    • okay.. believe what you want...

  • There are 2 guys, the ones that would only stay with you if you give him the occasional sex, and then there are guys like me who don't mind as much. I mean sometimes with my old girlfriend I used to just get so tempted to bang her, and she would always turn me on with the things she said, but she never wanted to have sex cos she lost trust in me when I did some bad things :/ I've never actually fucked a girl I've had, although I've had sex with several girls that were at parties... Most guys need sex in the relationship, kissing gets boring after a while, maybe you can at least jerk him off, or suck him off if your really nice. But why not just go for penetration. Its good for you.

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    • are you expecting sex when you pursue? at some point or another?

    • what do you mean by pursuer?

    • Pursue?

What Girls Said 1

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