I don't like my girl's style. How to tell her?

Her sense of style is very bad. It sucks! I don't want to hurt her but I want her to stop looking like a loser/nerd. How can I tell her? Would you be mad at your boyfriend/embarrassed if your boyfriend told you to change your style?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Be honest with her, because honesty is absolutely essential to any relationship. If she can't handle it, you two shouldn't be dating. The girl I love has criticized my choices of clothing many times in the past, and I have gradually changed a lot. I'm much more happy with the way I look now. If she wears something I don't like, I tell her I don't like it and she doesn't have a problem with that. You two should be free to say what is on your mind. If she doesn't want to change her style, that's perfectly okay. But she shouldn't get angry about it.

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What Girls Said 28

  • My advice----

    When I was in High School, I was very insecure and awkward about my physical appearance.

    I was tall and thin. I know this sounds weird, but for women of color, some men prefer to have us a little more filled out! I wore baggy jeans, and loose fitted shirts to hide my figure. I would not have been caught dead in a dress. My high school sweetheart changed that. He made me feel sexy and desirable...and also began to make suggestions. When I started to feel more comfortable in my skin, my entire perception of fashion changed. Now I am the biggest fashion diva and girly girl you would ever meet. Make her feel sexy, make suggestions, and eventually she would come out of her skin.

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  • wow all your comments sound like you're panicking when you think the might not change her style after subtle hints. it wasn't like she dressed amazing when you met her and now she's changed her style! you were attracted to her regardless of how she dressed and after 8 months you want her to change her style even willing to tell her outright hurt her feelings, so you can have a better dressed girlfriend on your arm? if its just a "little problem" then it shouldn't be worth telling her you hate her "nerdy" sense of style and hurting and offending her. if it's an actual problem, something that bothers you, then you either get over it or decide that she's not right for you. style has to be felt from within, it's a reflection of who you are and what you like. asking her to wear things that she wouldn't pick herself is like asking her to be someone she's not, and the sad thing is she probably would do that to make you happy, but you wouldn't even appreciate that because you see the way she dresses now as a flaw. no, it's not. none of her choices are flaws just because you don't like them. sorry if I sounded harsh, but I can't advise you to go ahead and make her feel small over something so superficial.

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  • Yeah I would. Maybe if she was going round dressed like a hooker with pretty much everything on show, you could ask her to tone it down because it's giving out an impression you don't think she really means to. But looking like a 'loser/nerd' is her choice really. It's what makes her comfortable, it's who she is. Unless she comes to you asking for style advice, you can't really do much to change it. You can subtly tell her when you think something looks nice - if you go shopping or something, tell her you think that top would look nice on her etc. But it's still her choice as to whether she agrees with you or not, and other than that, yeah most girls would be offended if you said something like that.

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  • Girls are reeeally sensitive to know that their boyfriend thinks that they look bad. If you really want her to dress differently, maybe you can suggest something for her to wear and maybe she'll get the hint. Don't make her mad or sad because you told her to dress a certain way. She has to want to change. You can always buy her an outfit you like (with the help of a girl friend or relative).

    If you are really concerned, this is a minor problem only because you choose to date her however she looked. You should have accepted that when you wanted to be with her. What really did you like about her. There had to be some physical attraction...

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  • Please do not just tell her flat out. That would be the worst idea. She'd get mad at you and insecure about herself.

    What you should do is every now and then buy her some new stuff. Don't buy her this huge stack of clothes all the sudden, you want to be subtle. Also, don't start all the sudden getting her clothes that are on the opposite end of the spectrum from her style, start slow and work your way to the desired style you want her to have.

    When she wears the stuff, compliment her! She'll realize you love it and then eventually she might even start shopping for that style of clothing by herself.

    Hope I helped and good luck! :)

    P.S. Remember - Subtlety is key!

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    • What do I do if she doesn't change her style? maybe she doesn't get it. subtlety is not always the key. she wants me to be honest, so what's wrong with telling her? of course I wouldn't tell her she looks like a nerd. I'd tell her to try something new. I'd tell her her clothes aren't exactly what I like to see on a girl. why is that a bad idea? why are girls so sensitive?

    • I think if you say "What you wear isn't what I like to see on a girl" it sounds like you're comparing her with other girls, which doesn't help her make her own style. The idea is that you want her to get clothes that suit her but are a little more foxy than what she has now. If you go shopping with her, say that clothes suit her. You're not trying to make her into another girl after all, and she'd be gutted if she felt that's what you were trying to do.

    • You can't just do that. It'll really upset her. Guys aren't the ones that control our style. Maybe she doesn't want to be like other girls. So to do it without upsetting her and taking the chance of your approach backfiring (she might not except gift of clothing at all), you need to do it slowly and subtly.

  • well just walk up to her and be honest. depending on her personality, she'll either get mad at first or just say ok.

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  • If my boyfriend made a cooment on how I dressed I would tell him if he didn't like it then buy my clothes so if I were you I would go out and buy her an outfif that you like and ask her to wear it for you just say you were walking by and saw it and you thought she would look nice in it. if you compliment her on it maybe she will change her wardrobe

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    • Maybe.. but what if not? I have to tell her then, right?

    • Well if that doesn't work then she probably doesn't care what you or no one else thinks and if that's the case then you loose

  • I know someone who didn't like his girlfriends clothes. Take her shopping and pick out a bunch of clothes you like, and have her try them on. More than likely she'll get something if she knows you think she looks beautiful.

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  • I'd be really cross if my boyfriend had a problem with the way I dress. Actually, he has made a few comments sometimes and I have been very cross when he did. Have you ever asked her why she dresses the way she does? If she's happy with it, you should be too. You should like her just the way she is, you shouldn't want to try and change her. Isn't that kind of... shallow?

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    • A bit, yes. don't say you're not shallow. what would you do if your boyfriend wore nerdy clothes 24/7?

    • I've had boyfriends that wore nerdy clothes 24/7, luckily I'm a girl and as a girl I have a naturally influential way. Perhaps instead of you buying her clothes she could get the very pleasant hint that other clothes would suit her from another girl. Does she have any best friends that are girls that could get her to see the light? From a friend it's helpful, from your boyfriend its critical.

  • You should just say stiff like, "You know what you would look really cute in..." and then tell her what it is that you would like her to wear. Just don't do it alot, and remember that she's wearing what's comfortable to her. Also, there could be other factors contributing to the way she dresses. Her parents may have something to do with it, or money, or she just isn't really sure what to shop for.

    I would probably be a little hurt if my boyfriend told me he didn't like what I was wearing, but if you guys are serious, and you really care about each other you should be able to tell her anything, and vice versa.

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  • With us girls, you have to be careful. I understand how you feel but you really can't just outright say: "you have bad style" or it will hurt. What you SHOULD do is go out to places where there are clothing stores and point out to her things she would look good in. Say hints like "wow, you would look fantastic in something like this" and "you know you should really try some clothes like these- you have the perfect body for it"! do many hints, but all have to be positive always "this would make you extra-hot" rather than "this is so much better than what you have" or "what your wearing is really ugly". what you CAN say is (and GENTLY...) "you know you have the most rockin body I've ever seen...i don't know why you don't dress it up more! I love when you wear things like *insert something nice she has worn* and I can see it makes you stand a little taller when you're so stylish. Can we go shopping and pick out some more things like those some time?" And if you offer to BUY her an article of clothing or 2, then your really going to get a positive reaction. Hope that helps!

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  • Just wondering if her style is that big of an issue what made you start dating her in spite of it? How long have you been dating? How long has it been bothering you?

    You can't outright tell her that she looks like a loser, that is mean and will hurt her feelings. If my man didn't like how I dressed the only way I would change is if he bought me new clothes to be honest. So I think you should take her shopping if it's that important to you. We are in a recession and expecting her to get a new wardrobe to just suit your taste is a bit presumptious.

    If she wants you to be honest put it like "I think you would look so good in [insert style you like]. You are really sexy and beautiful and you would definitely pull it off." When you're in the store and you see something you'd like her to wear point it out and encourage her to try it on. Then compliment her a lot when you see her looking good. She will catch on that way.

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    • It's not "that big of an issue", it's a "little problem". problems are there to be solved. nobody is perfect (not me, not her, not you). she's allowed to complain about what she doesn't like about me and so am i. why do girls react in such a "oh-my-god-that's-sooo-awful-way"? I'm just being honest. she's my girlfriend of 8 months. the reason why I date her is because she's highly intelligent, has a hot body and a beautiful face. her style is the only thing I worry about.

    • Curious here.

      How exactly does she dress?

      :-)

  • Take her out shopping. Don't tell her she has bad style! That's awful. She'd be so angry with you and then insecure about it. Just take her out and buy her some nice clothes.

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    • But I can't keep shopping with her til the day she dies! she needs to create her own style. and is it really awful? I mean... she wants me to be honest.

  • I would be upset if my boyfriend told me I look like a loser/nerd!

    Probably you would want to suggest different looks for her

    For example go through a magazine and tell her "I would love to see how you would look in this outfit, I think it would look great on you" something like that get a little creative, so you don't have to tell her flat out...

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  • Yes, I would be mad if my "boyfriend" told me that I looked like a loser/nerd. Ha ha. If my "boyfriend" was secretly hating my style, I would want to know. I think you should talk to your girlfreind, in a nice, respectful, caring way. Remember, you have to be senstive because this is going to hurt her feelings. Howver, you can also try buying her something you think will look good on her or taking her shopping, getting her a giftcard to a new store, ect.

    Good luck!

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  • I was kinda p*ssed when my guy said I dressed like Nancy drew or something off of gossip girl but hey I love my preppy style it looks classy . Trust me it always hurts to hear it but she should be happy you just told her and didn't break up with her because of the way she dresses but looks are not all that

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  • I would be mad and embarrassed that my boyfriend found time to come on the internet to bash me and my style and say I look like a loser/nerd.

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  • i'd be p*ssed

    but I agree with that person below take her to the mall and point out things you think would look good on her ^^

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  • umm break up and find a hotter girlfriend haha

    jk I don't know jus buy her better clothes

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    • Haha, she's probably much hotter than you. she has a great body and a beautiful face. the only thing I hate about her is her style.

  • i would be embarressed, then angey. don't do it.

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  • I suggest you watch the "you belong with me" music video by Taylor Swift on Youtube. Even if its just a video, it still says something about real life. There is a "nerdy" girl (Taylor Swift with blonde hair) and the guy she likes doesn't mind her style. The guy's girlfriend (Taylor Swift with brown hair) though tries to make the "nerdy" girl feel bad about herself. At the end, the "nerdy" girl changes into a beautiful dress and finds the courage to tell the guy that she loves him, and he says that he loves her too. Even though the nerdy girl changed into a beautiful dress to impress the guy, she was still herself, and she didn't even need to change cause the guy liked her for who she was, right from the beginning.

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  • Haha, my ex told me he didn't like my style or my weight or how happy I was cause I looked like a "baby". I dumped him. He basically had no respect for me.

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  • id say go to the mall with her and just point out things ud like to see her in or be like oh this would look sexy on you go try it on I dnt know any girl that wouldn't want to wear what her boyfriend thinks is sexy try that approch

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  • yes, don't tell her yourself! Maybe write in her honesty box if she has it on Facebook, or get a friend to tell her. If not maybe buy her a shirt that you think would look good on her. Or suggest different clothes. Or even say "i love it when a girl wears ___" (example: skinny jeans) but don't make it too obvious! Don't just tell her though!

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  • I would be VERY p*ssed off. Don't even think of doing that. Girls are very sensitive on subjects like that, it would make her feel insecure and bad about herself. Maybe buy some nice clothes for her, give her hints. But don't tell her flat out.

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  • ouch! if my boyfriend told me I looked like a loser/nerd I would flip out! how can you even think of telling her she looks bad? that's just terrible

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    • I wouldn't tell her she looks like a loser/nerd. of course not! I'd simply tell her I didn't like her style. what's so bad about it? are girls really that sensitive?

    • Yeah!

  • buy her things you think would look nice on her and trust me.. eventually her style will change... you gotta back it up with compliments when she wears the new style stuff

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    • Eventually... but what if not??

    • What do you mean. She can't change her wardrobe in a day. Just buy her tops you think would look great on her and when she wears it. Tell her you love that style on her and that it really suits her personality and she looks beautiful in it. Like I told my boyfriend he looks great in grey and then he went and bought 6 grey shirts lol

  • Ouch. Well, would you be mad if she thought you looked like a loser/nerd? This is kind of difficult, but I suppose you could give her little hints. Maybe take her shopping and if you see something you like, say something like "you would look so great in that!" If she starts wearing more stylish clothes and gets more compliments, it might induce her to want to be more fashionable. But style is really something that develops over time. I used to look like a loser/nerd and I slowly changed that. But the thing is, at the time, I didn't realized I looked like a loser/nerd until I was exposed to more trends, etc.

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What Guys Said 2

  • This is perhaps why we have Christmas and birthday presents. Use these opportunities to outfit her to her best advantage, and, if your taste is good, she'll most likely be delighted with the new her.

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  • take her shopping )which won't take much convincing trust me lol) and get her to try stuff on. then suggest stuff you like and she'll eventually get a new sense of style :)

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