Should I change the way I dress for a guy?

My boyfriend is a stylish guy himself. He's a sneaker-head. All he does in his free time is collect, buy, and sell shoes (mostly nikes) and he has this hiphop-ish style. But I guess ever since we started going out. He stopped "dressing" nice because he felt like there was no one to impress at his school since he already has me as his girlfriend (we both go to different schools). That made me happy of course, and it also relieved my worries about other girls checking him out and stuff.

HOWEVER, he feels like it isn't fair that HE stopped "impressing" people while he thinks that I still do it. (he chose to stop btw, I never asked him too because I felt like it wasn't 'right' even if I was his girlfriend) I don't "DRESS TO IMPRESS", I feel the same way he feels- it's NOT needed since I'm already taken. I only dress "fashionable" because I am into fashion.

He told me that he doesn't like it when I wear tube tops, skirts, shorts, dresses, and even make up. He told me that there was no use, he prefer me in being simple and plain. "just wear skinny jeans and a casual shirt to school, you don't have to wear skirts right? " that's what he would always tell me.

My question is: why does he have such a huge problem with this? He even told me that I would push him too far as to where he'll be forced to break up with me only because I wasn't changing and HE was hurting. I don't want that to happen, should I try to dress a little more decent at least just to prove him wrong? He is very stubborn by the way and he's still insisting that won't change and he doesn't believe me because I kept telling him this over and over again (about like 6 months of us going out). I don't know what to do.

Are GUYS actually like this towards their girlfriends? And why are they? I need some common-sense explanations here, thank you :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi. This boy is very possessive and insecure. It has nothing to do with the way you dress, or wear makeup. It is a trust issue on his side. Yes, it's flattering that he is "posessive of you" if you want to look at it like he wants you so much that he is jealous of anyone else even looking at you. He may also have trust issues with you, for whatever reason, that you are not worthy of his trust and respect. Tell him you are not interested in other guys, and you dress and put yourself together for YOU, not for your friends or other dudes. You just want to feel good about yourself, and if he wants to do that for himself it's OK too. He shouldn't want to make you compromise yourself for his insecurities. If he insists, you may want to reconsider why you are with someone who puts these boundaries on himself as well as on you. When you get older and are in college and the professional world, you will see that needy insecure guys like that are not very attractive, and you may find yourself moving toward people with self-confidence and maturity. Good luck.

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    • Thank you for making me realize that. And I did try, he still doesn't get what I mean about trying to impress HIM and not anybody else. He pointed out that even casual and not so showy clothes is good enough for him. But thank you again (:

What Guys Said 2

  • He's like that because he loves you - if he didn't care, then you'd know your with the wrong guy - your his, and he is yours - and he wants to keep it that way

    I've done similar things

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  • Insecurity & jealousy pretty much top it. He feels that if you're dressing fashionable, you might be stolen from him.

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What Girls Said 3

  • He sounds super controlling, which is a dangerous characteristic. If he is this controlling about what you wear, what else is he going to want to be in full control of later? He started dating you knowing what kind of clothes you wear, so he should have known that you would continue to wear the type of fashion that you do. If he wanted to change his style, that's his choice. You didn't make him do it and I think it's sort of a silly thing to do anyway. Why shouldn't he dress sharply just because he is dating? Wouldn't he want to look his best? Anyway, I think it would be foolish to give into his demands since they sounds abnormally restrictive. No skirts? NO shorts? What is that about? It sounds like he wants a servant more than a girlfriend. He seems very insecure if he doesn't trust you or the people around you to not cheat. This insecurity makes him want to try to control you more, keeping you on a short leash. If he can't come to his senses and change his attitude, I think you would be better off finding a guy who can accept you the way you are and be content with that.

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  • I don't believe you shouldn't change anything about yourself for a guy ( unless it's a negative quality). If you were dressing a certain way when you attracted him, then he shouldn't expect you to change who you are just because you are now dating. That sounds to me like a controlling quality. Be careful of that.

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  • He shouldn't be telling you what to wear. It's one thing if you have half your nipple hanging out and it makes him insecure/uncomfortable, but he shouldn't be dictating your wardrobe either. Especially if you were dressing like this before you met him. He is just controlling. First he has a problem with you wearing makeup...if you let this spiral out of control he will be like those abusive guys on Maury who make their wives wear windbreakers and ratty hair so they won't attract any male attention. Tell this chump to either stop being so controlling and get over it or leave.

    "He even told me that I would push him too far as to where he'll be forced to break up with me only because I wasn't changing and HE was hurting." - Classic manipulation. I would dress as slutty as possible just to piss him off lol.

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