Should I stay the good girl, or go bad?

lately, guys that I take seriously have just been a waste of my time. they are only in it for one thing (and they're not getting it) for that simple reason. At the rate the guys are going at that I know, they are all cheaters, liars, and have no real ambitions in life. Therefore, I'm better off single, right? I swear there is nobody out there for me. I have been the good girl for too long and it has gotten me nowhere. When I let my guard down and let my hair down I'm setting myself up for heartbreak or disappointment. So, right now I'm kind of feeling like I should just give up and do what the guys do. Do what I need to do to get what I want, not caring about peoples feelings. Being a nice girl for 23 years didn't do me justice. Maybe I need a change? What am I doing wrong? Does no one want to one day have a Wife? Please, give me advice, anyone, guys and girls. Thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I currently have a fairly secure job working for an airline, looking for a second job, I hope to one day be able to fly planes and do it right up until my sixty-fifth birthday.

    I'm acctually trying to write a book, with the hopes of getting it published and turned into a five-book series.

    I want to meet a girl along the way and make a family with her, but I want her to be someone respectable, a girl who will care about me and that I can care about. I want her to have goals in life and acctually chase them, not just talk about them.

    So yes, there are guys out there who one day want to settle down and start a family. Guys who are mature, responsible, smart and respectable.

    I'm sure there's one right under your nose that you just haven't noticed because you were too busy with the pricks who spend more time at the gym and in their parents basement getting high. You haven't noticed the guy who sits off to the side, is quiet and shy, but is out there doing what he can to make it in life.

    But if you stop caring about finding a proper guy, you kill any chance you had of getting him.

    • Thank you! you gave me hope.

    • Good answer. I noticed that the nicest guys are usually not in the club 5 nights a week and partying all the time. Usually they are shy or one of the guys that is just your friend.

    • We get stuck in the friend zone.

What Guys Said 1

  • The problem is younger guys typically want to sow their oats, so most of the time they are only looking for one thing. Occasionally you will find one that is different, but the majority are only after as much sex as they can get with as little strings attached as necessary.

    Yes, being the "good girl", or the "better person" is hard. The idea is that eventually you get what you are looking for. The generally worse people do tend to get ahead faster, but they are also less fulfilled usually in life. So each side has it's ups and downs.

    So it's up to you as far as what you ultimately want, but you might want to consider the consequences before you give up your good nature.

    • Oh, I have considered the consequences, but it's like the bad girls find their soulmates while they're bad, and they are ultimately happy now... weird, I know.

    • Show All
    • Haha funny reply. thanks.

    • No problem, glad I could help.

What Girls Said 1

  • to be honest, I know exactly how you feel because right now I feel the exact same way. I've been screwed over, cheated on, lied name it. and every time I would try to stay optimistic and hope that I'd find a nice, decent guy. up until a couple months ago, I was pretty optimistic that I had found that guy. he was smart, funny, took things slow and seemed to respect and like me for who I was. I genuinely developed feelings for him and trusted him. out of the blue he breaks up with me (the day after my birthday). it turns out he had already started taking out another girl behind my back before the break-up and now they are happily dating.

    so I guess you're wondering what I'm wondering: is it us? I don't think it is. I think we have high standards and expectations for a significant other but I don't think we should settle. is it better being single than being with a complete d-bag? absolutely.

    maybe acting like a guy isn't such a bad idea after-all. maybe we are too nice for our own good. why should I be considerate of men and their feelings when all we get is heartbreak in return? do you believe in karma? I want to. that's the only thing that gets me to sleep at night.

    • Omg. someone who understands me! Karma is the only thing that keeps me frm going to the bad side. Because I know if I do, I'll be very unhappy later. I can just hope that one day when I least expect it, the one I have waited for will find me. I think we are just too much for them to handle and they know that they don't have what we need so they move on.

    • I agree! we ARE too much for them to handle. to be honest I've also found that many guys are very insecure. and most of these guys are good at masking this insecurity at first but as the relationship progresses they begin to feel more and more inadequate and insecure. so when immature guys get scared, they split. at least that is my theory! But, I think there ARE good guys out there. and our happiness is worth the wait, right? right now though, I WANT TO SEE SOME KARMA IN ACTION! haha