If a guy broke up with you?

over feeling that you didn't care about him as much as he cared for you and that he had enough of giving everything and getting nothing in return, would he still be in love with you? he said he really did but I hurt him as I never said it or showed it over two years. we've been broken up for a few months now but have been really close and 6 weeks later I told him I loved him, he got so angry I had waited till after we broke up and he said I had forced him to take his love back. he had never ever treated me less than a queen :( he's not seeing anyone else, still won't call another girl pretty, and it's pretty clear that if I started flirting with someone that would be it between us, like how we were when we together. but he says he's not ready for a relationship. I know when guys say that as an excuse to mess around and be free, but he doesn't do much but work and see his friends from time to time. he's always careful so I don't think he only wants me for one thing and gets really upset if I ever joke about him wanting me physically. I don't know, everyone tells me that he's such a decent guy, and he had never ever hurt me when we were together. but I don't want to end up as one of these naive girls who gets played. that's my biggest fear. I can't even take time out and think because he contacts me every day. he does care about me, my family, my health, my education etc he's really protective of me, but he still isn't ready to be with me? Do you think he'll ever be ready? Also I think it's important to add that he doesn't want any of our mutual friends to know about us although he's physical and romantic in front of my best friends. I just don't know what to think! I trust him, I just don't trust my judgment.

Updates:
also he's a little insecure with the way he looks, doesn't accept compliments. don't get me wrong, he's confident with who he is but he doesn't think much of himself. Maybe he's embarrassed to be with me? Would you be? :S

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What Guys Said 2

  • You kinda screwed up. Some people just are not good fits for others. I dated my best friend for a year, and I am a very physical style of boyfriend, I love holding hands, and cuddling, and sleeping together. She did not like any of that. Therefore, we were not a good fit. It sucks, but it is what it is.

    It sounds like right now he needs someone that is more positive about him and is more open with how much they care about him. That is obviously not you. Do not try to be someone you are not. I would be irate if I were him and you waited two years to tell me you loved me after we broke up. How could you do something like that? That's awful, especially in light of what he told you.

    You guys broke up. You are not together. You are not dating. Sounds like it's time to move on. Start by not spending a ton of time with him. Use this as a learning experience and move forward.

    Good luck!

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    • I appreciate the advice but he reckons we are dating and does not want to let me go. I had many many reasons for behaving how I did, which are way too personal to type as I'm not on anonymous. he has understood all those and helped me overcome lots of problems which I don't have now. I'm very affectionate and have always been there for him. I have given him lots of opportunities to bail out if he doesn't have the same intentions as me but he always happily stays.

    • Don't ask questions you might not like the answers to. You said you were broken up and now you say you are dating. This is excess drama. You don't need it in your life. You will learn that as you grow up. Good luck either way!

  • whyd you have to write so much?

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    • I'm sorry you didn't have to read it all. if someone could help me out and give me advice I thought it'd be best if they had some background information. everything I said is irrelevant to my question.

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    • Any advice on my problem? the main problem is whether I should trust my judgement or not. does he sound like he's genuine and has good intentions for us.

    • You should go for it if you want

      i just don't know a lot about these types of situations anyway

      i just replied because I used to be insecure myself well goodluck

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