Do you have any suggestions for me?

Ok, so I made myself go out today and went to coffee shop, just to practice being social. This was really hard and nerve racking. Since I am really quiet and shy being social does not come easy for me. I tried not looking so lonely and not looking like I didn't want to be bothered. I actually had some girls smile at me when I would look at them. A really, really big step for me. Things like this have never happened to me before. I just don't know what to do after we make eye contact, I don't know if they are interested or just being friendly. How can I tell and what should I do next?

I'm sure it will take some time to get to the next step, it's taken me over 10 years to finally reach this step of the process; I don't want it to take another 10 years to reach the next step. I don't know what to do.


What Girls Said 1

  • If you have any friends to go out with I think that helps a lot. Girls notice cute guys sitting alone, but it's a lot easier to make conversation as a group. What would really help you though is to come to the realization that you're on the same level as everyone else. It's hard to get over being shy, but the way I think about it whenever I'm starting to get nervous is that nobody is above me. If I want to talk to a guy and I start to feel shy or nervous, I just think to myself, "He's just a guy, I'm just a girl. If I embarrass myself, I can choose not to see him again." Just practice socializing. Go out with some guy friends and just don't be afraid to look like an idiot. Sometimes that's the best way to have fun!

    • I have quite a few issues with meeting people. I don't have any friends and not only is it hard to talk to women, it is hard to talk to people in general. When you said girls notice cute guys sitting alone, I don't ever notice women looking at me; I honestly don't know if I'm "cute", I never had anyone tell me. Thanks for your advice.

What Guys Said 1

  • It's been 10 years. Don't push it.

    In the meanwhile, I would recommend activities where interaction is natural. A pickup something-or-other sports league. Volunteer work. Book clubs. Put yourself in situations where conversation is inevitable.

    Congratulations. You're well on your way.