The Anti-Flirt...

This girl just won't flirt back. Normally I'd chalk it up as a clear sign she's uninterested, but that's not the case (Assume it to be fact...I'll spare you the evidence).

Playing, teasing, joking...all deflected back at me with her sobering, literal responses - like a conversation with my mother.

I mean, I see her joke around with her friends and brother, so I know she's not dull, but it just seems like she stiffens up around me...

Anybody got any advice to loosen her up? I must be doing something wrong.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well for some girls it's just not their style. Some girls don't find it in good taste to be giggly flirty and obnoxious every time they have a little bit of a boy crush, for example. She may find the eye batting giggly touchy feely thing kind of tacky and unoriginal. Some girls don't try so hard to impress you because they think they should be impressive enough being their straight up selves. Some girls overdo the not being "needy" or "obnoxious" thing when they like someone, therefore, they stiffen up. Basically she doesn't want to look like the run-of-the-mill needy flirty in your face gal.

    On the other hand, some girls just don't find flirting second nature like other girls do and feel awkward. They wish they could, but freeze up.

    Some girls don't take a guy just flirting with them seriously and do not want to make themselve vulnerable.

    Me personally I'm not a huge flirter, though I flirt. I tend to keep good eye contact and confident body language with someone I like, laugh at their jokes just as much as I would laugh at anyone's jokes. I want to make myself a noticed presence and for them to know that my eyes are on them, without being in a guys face. I tend to flirt more when a relationship is established.

    Why do you need her to flirt back to establish a connection with her? Ask her out on the date if you're certain she likes you. This kind of girl you're not going to get a huge reaction out of by flirting with her clearly. Look for a reaction in her general mood, and her eyes, the way she looks at you. Showing that you are certainly interested may relax her inhibitions as well. So just ask her out.

    • Yeah, I think you hit it right on the head. I'm starting to understand her a little more and rethinking my strategy. I need to just spend more time with her. Thanks for the thorough answer!

    • Spending more time with her seems like an awesome plan!

What Girls Said 1

  • yeah she may not do the flirting thing she'll have to consider you friend first probably. So hang out with her or people close to her so she can get used to or comfortable with you. It's laways nice to know someones personality first befor you start flirting with them.


What Guys Said 1

  • She probably thinks you are a player she might not trust you. Your coming off to smooth. Cut the flirting get on her level with conversation the fun will come out of her once she knows your not trying to play her.