Guys: What are you looking for?

I was having a debate with my female friends. So, that led me to ask all you guys: what are you looking for? By that I mean what kind of relationship do you find yourself wanting (purely sexual, long term, etc.) Also, what do you look for in girls? Please don't just say "nice" unless its really true, I'm not going to judge you if you say "someone to do". Just interested.

Also, I'm 20, so people around my age and older would be most appreciated, but anyone is welcome.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The same things you look for in a guy, minus financial security.

    We're both the same animal; human. We all have the same needs, wants, fears, and insecurities. Despite socially maintained stereotypes, women aren't asexual, and men aren't unemotional. Though "because of" social pressures, a girl might be afraid or ashamed to let her sexual desire openly show (sIut, wh0re), and a guy might be afraid or ashamed to let his emotions openly show (gay, queer)

    What do guys look for in a girl? There is no "cure-all" answer to that. Everyone is different. Some guys are actively looking for a supermodel trophy wife to validate their low self-esteem from all those years as an unattractive loser in high school or college, now that they have the money to appeal to a woman's hooker instincts. Some guys are actively looking for a CEO to free load off of and pretend they love and enjoy having sex with for as long as she takes care of him. Some guys are looking for one woman with a sex drive higher than their own. Some guys are looking for multiple women and don't really care how high or low her sex drive is. Some guys are hopeless romantics looking to find and live out their idealized love fantasy.

    I think the general rule to follow is "motivation"

    "People" are motivated to interact when they have something to gain. This is why ugly, poor, miserable people get less attention than hot, rich, happy and fun people. Unless you can't financially take care of yourself, you don't really "need" an other person in your life.

    So why would a man want a girl?

    #1. Emotion (pay attention, this one is tricky; but it's also the primary reason)

    - to feel cared for and loved (which makes him feel special)

    - to feel accepted, appreciated, desired, respected and wanted

    - to feel close to someone, which makes him feel comfortable and safe

    - to protect and take care of someone who he loves, and loves him, and appreciates him

    #2. Sex

    - to feel accepted, cared for, desired, loved and wanted (which make him feel special)

    - to feel close to someone, and express himself emotionally through a physical act

    - to feel good physically, both sexual release and sexual intimacy

    - to give sexual pleasure to the person he cares about (makes him feel good)

    When I "KNEW" I had finally met "the one", it's like that whole checklist checked off in my head. I could feel how much she honestly loved me. She's HONEST (which shows she respects me and doesn't try to be manipulative or selfish). She has a sex-drive that's enough for an army & the entire NFL; so I know they'll never be a time where I want to and she doesn't, and if she wants to and I'm not in the mood, it would always make me happy to make her happy. She never asks me for things, and when I do things for her, she appreciates it. She's really sweet and "makes me feel like I can do anything with her by my side". She's "SILLY" and playful and makes me feel comfortable and relaxed around her. She's mine.

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    • It's also important to focus on "fears" men have about women. Women are afraid of a guy leaving her, or cheating. Men are afraid of him wanting to have sex one day and being denied or rejected, and having their emotions and love for her used against him (manipulated by the very person he loves; talk about adding insult to injury). So if anything a girl does pops a red flag for either of those fears, there's a good chance she's disqualified as something long-term.

What Guys Said 3

  • It all depends where you are in life.

    Myself, I'm very financially well off with a good career.

    I'm well traveled and also got the bad stuff outa me already (Drugs, partying, womenizing, bad break-ups all that good young and dumb stuff)

    I'm really looking for a women that has her sh*t together, is intelligent and witty and likes to communicate. But also a women that is lacking that something that I feel I can provide emotionally and vise-versa.

    A women that is over the dating games, and wants to be real and open.

    Of course I'll only find that women once, then its all over, but along the way, I guess you can throw in the "purely sexual" women in there too, just to pass the time. ;)

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  • I look for a long term relationship, I want to be married and have kids one day not getting laid by a new girl every few months.

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  • Well I'm looking for a purely long term relationship... I'm not ever gonna pressure a girl for sex because I want to wait until I'm married. Then I'll give myself to my wife and my wife only.

    I haven't ever had a Girlfriend tho, but I'll keep trying and I won't give up! shy guys need love too!

    I REALLY try to attract a girl, but it just has never really worked out for me. Only girls that I don't like at all seem to end up liking me...

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