Why does my husband of 53 look at pictures of girls 18-22 years old on the internet?

I am 55, pretty and in great shape and I know that my husband loves me very much. But I continue to catch him looking at girls that are 30+ years younger than me. Why and what is the self gratification? What is he thinking of when he looks?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is remembering his youth, and reflecting on a time when that age group found him attractive. Men are visual, we have huge egos, and we are hunters. He will always want to look, and he will always want to sniff. You are safe as long as he does not become a pointer, or a tracker. Let him enjoy the pictures, and be there to enjoy the ride when his bone is ready. In fact, blow his mind and suggest some porn sites, and tell him you will be expecting some extra effort on his part towards you after he has watched. Red TUBE is a good one and it is free.

    The dangerous part of this is he is risking that you might decide to find attention from another source, and you are more likely to have what would attract what you would find, where he is not nearly as likely to get lucky with the girls he is web surfing.

    Men who cheat, do it if they think they can get away with it. Women who cheat, do it because the men they love are not paying enough attention to their basic needs to be loved, held and appreciated.

    Good Luck,

    James

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    • People cheat for all kinds of different reasons... I could totally get away with it with my surroundings and schedule, but I dont. But I'll give you a +1 agree for recommending free porn!

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    • I would be totally upset if my husband only wanted sex after he looked at other women. That's horrible. I would want to die. I think men need to stop their p*rn addictions and pay attention to the women who may not look like the women on the videos, but love them and put up with all of their stupid crap. Guys treat us badly, take us for granted and then wonder why we leave.

    • erikaranka... I am sorry to say it, but I think you have decided that men should think like women to appease your fears/concerns. If all (even most) men think this way, then it is not "wrong", but normal, and it is our expectations of thinking that they should think differently that needs to be addressed. Good luck with staying, or leaving. James

What Guys Said 86

  • Once more:

    It's just day dreaming: porn isn't reality, it's FICTION.

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  • Many women may also like looking at men much younger than themselves. In my area many women of all ages have "Hen Parties" where they have male strippers [who may be in the twenties] to entertain them, they may be your age or older ...

    both genders may be drawn to admiring the opposite sex of a younger age.

    The fact is that although with age we may have the appearance of that age [however attractive] many of us, in our hearts, feel the same as when we were, say, 21 - but with a mature range of experience and wisdom underpinning that. I am surprised every day to see a face of my years staring back.

    If I stand in an art gallery and look at a painting depicting a young woman alive and alluring I don't look away, I revel in her pleasant form - her looking forward to all life can offer, the fact that innocence has been left behind with teenage years but she is aware of herself as a free spirited woman. I have a statuette of lady which I enjoy ... I have a picture of ladies about my age having a good laugh which makes me smile ...

    There is a construct which many women build about men ... that once they are in a relationship suddenly no woman need be attractive to them ... only their significant other. This is a myth and however many men might refute this to their wives I have never known one man who will not enjoy the sight of a comely woman but they all say "but don't tell the wife eh?"

    I once worked in an office with a few middle aged ladies amongst us, there were some roadworks outside one hot summer, the more the workpeople doffed their upper body clothes the more those women found it necessary to talk by the window, or to take papers there to see the fine print more easily ... they were ogling non-stop but spoke in guilty voices. However ... when we enjoyed a look at our Pirelli calendar these same ladies accused us of bringing Smut Into The Workplace!

    I could not say what your man is thinking as I do not know how open minded he is, but to me it shows a healthier attitude if he knows you are aware then if he was doing this as a closet activity.

    Before the internet? We men had a painting of a scantily clad lady over the mantleshelf in our library or a statuette in the corner of our study ... the magazine bought in confidence from the barber ... t'was ever thus!

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  • A lot of guys including myself love that age - To me its just something that is hard to describe -

    If you get pictures of girls of all ages and love at them side by side , girls in the age bracket that you are talking about just have this look, this glow, this look or feel of innocence in their eyes and their smile -

    I'm not sure if it's something that woman can see themselves ya know, I am pretty sure a woman would not see the same thing a man sees -

    Hard to describe like I said but I tired -

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  • Men like younger women, because in psychology, youth sybolises fertility, and strength and nurturing.

    most men are less attracted to a woman, as she gets older, and even more so once she's past her prime.

    with a man, an older man can see seen as attractive because with a man, age isn't a symbol of fertility. We provide the resources and the safety.

    All mens hormones, program them to be very attracted you young females. And this is all guys not just some. Some men like older women, but not after she is past her prime which is about 40-45. You'll see guys looking at the olsen twins etc, but never at elizabeth taylor.

    thats just the way it is.

    Just see yourself as lucky that he manages to fight those urges to fool around with a younger girl.

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  • There aren't many sites that have photos of 50+ year old women, that's one reason. Men are visual. We like looking at pretty women, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with you.

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What Girls Said 47

  • Because that is what men do!

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    • U are one of the hottest gal on this site... but y hav you blocked me

    • I have blocked no one! If you had been blocked you would not have been able to leave this comment here!

  • After looking at all the other answers, I think it is important to remember men's sexual experiencs that have programmed them for the rest of their life. Young boys learn early on the power of a sexual image to stimulate them to orgasm. This is an experience that they carry with them for the rest of their lives and forms their adult sexual preferences and habits. Even when they are adults and are in a wonderful relationship, they still carry those experiences with them. Does it make them bad or untrustworthy? No. It is just how they have been trained to stimulate themselves. It doesn't make them monsters or horrible husbands, unless they cross these lines:

    1) He masturbates to orgasm by watching porn, thus denying you satisfaction and pleasure.

    2) He starts communicating with real people for sexual gratification

    3) He starts looking at child porn, which is definitely crossing the line of social acceptability

    4) He becomes Obsessed with porn

    Other than that, I think he is just a pretty normal guy. I think it is also good to remember that if he is getting older too, then he might have trouble maintaining an erection, which can be a very distressing issue for a man. So he might be trying to find that extra stimulation so he can maintain an erection. Just a thought!

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    • I'm mostly with you except for #1. All guys masturbate to orgasm watching porn. That's what it's for. If you don't want them to do this you are bound to be disappointed. Really. And if you don't want them to do this then you really don't want them to watch porn at all. That's what porn makes them do. They watch it, they get turned on, and then they jerk off.

    • Alright, you got a point on #1

    • Erm excuse me... I bash off to porn all the time, I NEVER deny my woman sexual pleasure. There is NOTHING wrong with masterbating to porn, girls do it, guys do it.

  • No matter how well we age we simply do not look the same as we did in our early 20's. There is a different look that we all have in our 20's and it can be physically attractive and desirable to look at but that is where it ends. Most of us would tire quickly of actually being with someone that much younger. To me this is no different than wondering when you are in your 20's why your man is looking at other women at all. They do it, it is part of their sexuality and not a sign they are unhappy with their partner.

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    • we wives are enjoying watching the firm young men just as much,

  • What is he thinking of when he looks at these younger women? He's thinking about exactly what you think he is thinking about. I think that it can be healthy (as long as he is just "looking" at them and the women are of age). Men are very sexual and it has nothing to do with you or whether he finds you attractive or sexy (considering you are still keeping yourself up). It is the difference between women and men that has been the same from their teenage years it doesn't just go away as they get older (if anything it may be more intense). They only try harder to conceal it as they get older because they don't want to be looked at as a pervert but they have a healthy interest in sexy women. They all will do it (take a peek) and if that is all that he is displaying, I wouldn't worry about it. I am not saying that any of this behavior is really okay with us but just know that it has nothing to do with you and it doesn't take any of his love away from you.

    Just think about it this way, on girls night out we are looking at younger guys while joking around with our friends about what we would do with that. We are only joking but we are not looking at a 60 year old man saying...ooooh, he makes me hot (physically). It's all just a natural process that go thru as we get to the point in life that we may not be able to have what we think we want. Same thing for him, there is no young girls out there thinking about him sexually so it is safer to look at them on the internet without any rejection or criticism. It's safe. Hope this helps! Love & Peace!

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    • You are one of the very few that makes sense to the situation. I appreciate your feedback.

    • IT takes two to tango, thnk you this shows men and woman are equal :)

    • Dear MrTinker, you just agreed with me... again... take care! lol

  • he is a guy... that's just what happens. Its not that he loves you any less, but men have a lot of trestosterone even when they are older, and that's a way of releasing it. when you stop having intercourse that when it becomes a problem. Some of my friends and I were talking about this the other day... and this also is in reply to all the other that have commented before myself... the difference between a beautiful woman and young girls is simply... older women are beautiful, elegant, classy, and more distiguished, whereas younger girls are "sexy, hot" almost slutty if you will... and it has nothing to do what he is attracted to or what he wants you to be, its just that they are young, crazy, indistinguished and that's what is advertised in magazines.

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