Why does my husband of 53 look at pictures of girls 18-22 years old on the internet?

I am 55, pretty and in great shape and I know that my husband loves me very much. But I continue to catch him looking at girls that are 30+ years younger than me. Why and what is the self gratification? What is he thinking of when he looks?

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • He is remembering his youth, and reflecting on a time when that age group found him attractive. Men are visual, we have huge egos, and we are hunters. He will always want to look, and he will always want to sniff. You are safe as long as he does not become a pointer, or a tracker. Let him enjoy the pictures, and be there to enjoy the ride when his bone is ready. In fact, blow his mind and suggest some porn sites, and tell him you will be expecting some extra effort on his part towards you after he has watched. Red TUBE is a good one and it is free.

    The dangerous part of this is he is risking that you might decide to find attention from another source, and you are more likely to have what would attract what you would find, where he is not nearly as likely to get lucky with the girls he is web surfing.

    Men who cheat, do it if they think they can get away with it. Women who cheat, do it because the men they love are not paying enough attention to their basic needs to be loved, held and appreciated.

    Good Luck,

    James

    • erikaranka... I am sorry to say it, but I think you have decided that men should think like women to appease your fears/concerns. If all (even most) men think this way, then it is not "wrong", but normal, and it is our expectations of thinking that they should think differently that needs to be addressed. Good luck with staying, or leaving. James

    • I would be totally upset if my husband only wanted sex after he looked at other women. That's horrible. I would want to die. I think men need to stop their p*rn addictions and pay attention to the women who may not look like the women on the videos, but love them and put up with all of their stupid crap. Guys treat us badly, take us for granted and then wonder why we leave.

    • I don't disagree with your point, but I was trying to say that IF a guy cheats, it is usually because he thinks he can get away with it, not because he is missing something at home. Men who don't cheat, usually don't because they are worried about the outcome, fear of loosing it all. Women don't even THINK about it if they are getting the love and attention they desire at home. I am using extremes, and it won't apply to everyone, but more often than not. Thanks for the VOTE for free porn. lol

    • Show Older

What Guys Said 85

  • this answer never changes he likes what he sees, nothing more

  • I don't believe you're really 55 if you don't know why your husband looks at young women. You should know the answer to that by now.

  • Because there are pictures of naked 18 - 20 y/o girls that need to be looked at.

    • Fair enough, if that's what she wants to do.

    • and pics of 18-22 year old boy wifey needs to be enjoying!

  • "Boys will be boys" only begins to tell the story. The real issue here is not that he looks at women, but that he looks at significantly younger women. The explanation for this is dead-easy. Just think about how old he'll have been when he was most "on his game" and when his hormones were least in check. Every man is going to hold the fondest sexual memories of the time when he was the most sexually 'in his element'. It might not be pleasant for you, but it shouldn't be entierly surprising either.

  • no pedo no

  • coz he wants to satisfy himself...which he probably can't do by looking at the pictures of 50 year old women...!

  • I keep thinking I'll reach an age when lust will no longer be a distraction, but I turn 60 soon, and a curve of hip or leg or a flash of skin is still a serious traffic hazard for me. It doesn't seem to matter how much sex I'm getting, it's a constant visual magnetic attraction that must be hard-wired deep in my brain somewhere. I do try and be tactful and not leer, but it's not easy.

  • There aren't many sites that have photos of 50+ year old women, that's one reason. Men are visual. We like looking at pretty women, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with you.

  • Hey I'm 17 and I got year answer sort of say right here... Hez a guy lady! :D every guy is a boy even if hez 90 he would continue to chase his temptation for the young chicks... Because that is what guys do... all guys... even my dad too :) no kidding

  • A mid life crisis, I suppose. Either that or he just loves women so much, he has become obsessed with their curvaceous bodies.

  • You know, some people like to look at other beautiful people.

  • Even the most faithful man (I am) appreciates a beautiful women as art. He is probably thinking: "How lovely she is", translated: "Yummy!" but that does not mean he is fantasizing bedding her.

  • when I was a kid... they feel old

  • men don't wanna get old.. they always want to feel wanted and sexy etc... they don't and won't accept the fact they have to settle for older women now :P

  • my dad is 56 and looks at 18 year old girls... he may love you and never cheat on you but when looking at those girls he wishes he was young again and with younger girls... also its always awesome for the guy when he's older like in his 50's and he's able to have sex with a girl who is 18

    • Its like ur me... my dad is also 56 lol and I am pretty sure he looks :P

  • If he's anything like me it's because he's wishing he could go back in time and have more varied sexual experiences with young girls, because, let's face it, there's a freshness there that's irreplaceable. He probably loves sex with you, but guys are greedy and we wish that everyone in the world we're sexually attracted to could be our bedroom plaything.

  • A lot of guys including myself love that age - To me its just something that is hard to describe -

    If you get pictures of girls of all ages and love at them side by side , girls in the age bracket that you are talking about just have this look, this glow, this look or feel of innocence in their eyes and their smile -

    I'm not sure if it's something that woman can see themselves ya know, I am pretty sure a woman would not see the same thing a man sees -

    Hard to describe like I said but I tired -

  • As an older guy I understand the fear of growing old and realizing your attractiveness to the opposite sex is becoming more and more limited. From a visual stand point men are more subject to stimulation by what we see than women so it is not something we could explain in a sense you might understand. It is like explaining what something looks like to a blind person.

    Many of us "older" guys often imagine these women are looking at us as attractive and available men they would be interested in. I know it is not "rational" but these thoughts help us forget our advancing years and the distance it places between what we once were and where we are going.

    As long as he loves you and is not actually cheating let him have his little fantasies...they may even help in your bedroom!

    It is not cheating..it is more a form of looking back at a time that has passed us by.

  • Young girls are just pretty is all. I look at 20 something girls to but I would never date one. I also look at a lot of girls that are in their 40's and 50's. I was so in love with a woman who is 50 or so years old that I was just sick over it I'm 43.

  • try and not let it get to you so much. Guys are visual big time and even though we may be married or have a girlfriend we still enjoy looking at other women. It doesn't mean that we don't love you or care about you. It may be a fantasy that kick starts the viewing of younger women. Me personally I have always enjoyed looking at older women, but still look at younger ones as well. My preference is matur women however. Then I've always had a fantasy since I was 15 to have sex with my friends mom who's 20 years older than me. Even today I still have that fantasy. Men are creatures of "eye candy" and I'm sure even YOU get glaces from younger guys that you may not catch ;)

  • Would it surprise you or would you question if a 18-22 year old guy was also looking at images of "Mature say 30-50" year old women on the internet? There are plenty of younger guys that have an interest in the "Mature - MILF" genre. Does that raise any eye brows? I'm in my early 30's and certainly enjoy both genres of younger and older. As a matter of fact I enjoy women of all legal ages. (mostly anyway).

    I had an ex that questioned me looking at 18-22 females but had no problem with the fact that I also looked at (mature / milf) images also. Didn't make sense to me. The fact is our fantasies are built on things we don't have, can't have or simply won't have.

    Most women would think, "He's looking at something I'm not, so I guess I'm not enough for him." Which is a legit feeling and in some cases that might be true. But, in most cases you probably are enough for him and it's just harmless fantasies that he is charging with pictures of younger women.

    I'd say not to worry about it too much unless you find him talking to younger girls, seeing younger girls or spending time with younger girls. They are just images.

  • I wouldn't worry I don't think he will be the first man to do this nor will he be the last, why don't you just approach him about this situation and tell him what you think?

  • Many women may also like looking at men much younger than themselves. In my area many women of all ages have "Hen Parties" where they have male strippers [who may be in the twenties] to entertain them, they may be your age or older ...

    both genders may be drawn to admiring the opposite sex of a younger age.

    The fact is that although with age we may have the appearance of that age [however attractive] many of us, in our hearts, feel the same as when we were, say, 21 - but with a mature range of experience and wisdom underpinning that. I am surprised every day to see a face of my years staring back.

    If I stand in an art gallery and look at a painting depicting a young woman alive and alluring I don't look away, I revel in her pleasant form - her looking forward to all life can offer, the fact that innocence has been left behind with teenage years but she is aware of herself as a free spirited woman. I have a statuette of lady which I enjoy ... I have a picture of ladies about my age having a good laugh which makes me smile ...

    There is a construct which many women build about men ... that once they are in a relationship suddenly no woman need be attractive to them ... only their significant other. This is a myth and however many men might refute this to their wives I have never known one man who will not enjoy the sight of a comely woman but they all say "but don't tell the wife eh?"

    I once worked in an office with a few middle aged ladies amongst us, there were some roadworks outside one hot summer, the more the workpeople doffed their upper body clothes the more those women found it necessary to talk by the window, or to take papers there to see the fine print more easily ... they were ogling non-stop but spoke in guilty voices. However ... when we enjoyed a look at our Pirelli calendar these same ladies accused us of bringing Smut Into The Workplace!

    I could not say what your man is thinking as I do not know how open minded he is, but to me it shows a healthier attitude if he knows you are aware then if he was doing this as a closet activity.

    Before the internet? We men had a painting of a scantily clad lady over the mantleshelf in our library or a statuette in the corner of our study ... the magazine bought in confidence from the barber ... t'was ever thus!

  • Pretty much what sumina7 said. That and a little remembrance of days gone by.

    Nothing to worry about.

  • Men are hardwired to get excited by looking at nubile females in child bearing condition (does not mean he wants to leave you to go with them). The female equivalent is females finding strong and successful males attractive (does not mean you will leave him to go with them). Don't let it bother you.

  • he just wants to jerk off over some young girls, and believe me he is jerking off to it...think about it

  • he vl see in the mrng nd he vl think them abt evng nd erect his penis by doing like tht a man gets a self satisfaction.

  • It reminds him of his youth. Just because he likes it doesn't mean he love you any less.

  • has it ever occurred that he's perfectly happy with you? maybe it's not about what you do or don't have to offer. maybe he's just wanting something a little bit different, but respects you enough to NOT CHEAT ON YOU. the way I see it, it comes down to this: would you rather he indulges in some self-gratification while viewing (legal) younger women, or going out and attempting to initiate contact? perhaps you should try discussing it with him. it's a good place to start.

  • its normal ,thts how men are designed genetically

    maybe he has a fetish for young girls or sumthng

    u need to spice up ur sex life a bit

  • IMO He wants to f*** the young hot chicks. Whadayouthink? Now he may not act on that impulse even if presented with the opportunity (although I wouldn't bet on it) but its in his nature to be attracted to these babymakers (in a primative sense).

    Now if some charismatic hunk of a man came by to do your plumbing while your husband was away would you even have the passing thought of getting boned by him?

    Women are just as attracted to power and security as men are to beauty and sex. In todays era power and security can mean a guy with a beautiful physique but it also can mean a dominating presence, money, charisma, career success as well.

    Don't be a hypocrit. Your husband is with you because he wants to be. He looks at porn because he wants to. If he would rather look at porn than look at you then well there is aproblem for your relationship but as long as he's giving you the attention you need and not lying to you then what's the problem?

    • "Women are just as attracted to power and security as men are to beauty and sex" exactly!

  • because 18-22 year olds are hot

    • But there are lots of Older women that are HOT too!

  • What I am about to say is not indeded to sound mean, but I will be honest.

    1. It doesn't matter how good of shape you are in. No 55 year old is going to have that hard body of a 20 year old. Period.

    2. He has been having sex with the same girl, same routine for years. It gets boring. This is his way of making sexual experiences exciting.

    3. He is fullfilling fantasy. He doesn't have to buy porn dinner or listen to it complain, etc. All he has to do is click, watch, get off and then that "girl" is gone. Also available whenever he wants.

    4. Perfectly natural. Porn is fantasy. I never understood why girls are so threatened by this. He is not looking to replace you or is unhappy with you. He just wants something new and exciting that won't tell his penis "I have a headache"

    5. If you are really worried, watch porn with him. Or do things to him while he watches porn. That way all his fantasies include you.

  • its incredibly hard not to stare at anything tightly packaged in clothing on the female side. basically, if they happen to be there, I'll look at em', accidentally or otherwise

  • Well the short answer is: because women are complicated and we sometimes need sex-on-demand. Also there's always someone hotter than you.

    I can already see the answer of women pretending to give all the sex their guy wants. My girlfriend said that once too. But if I masturbate to some porn online I don't have to listen to an argument about me not taking the time to turn her on, wanting too much "quickies" or crap like that.

    What's the usual 2nd argument? Oh right, too much masturbation will make us less willing to go out and please you in the bed. That argument is valid, but is it actually an issue for you?

    Also I'm with the other guys, all guys masturbate. The ones who don't are liar and haven't been caught - they probably are masturbating to something that could get them in jail too.

    • I'm a girl and I watch porn as much as or more than any guy does, even more. But I understand being threatened by it. It can be addictive, and it can damage a relationship when used in excess. I've never understood why guys lie about it so much - what has hurt me was not the porn itself, but realizing I was honest about my porn habits no matter how crazy they were - and find finding out my guy didn't give me the same honesty about it and began using so much he eventually replaced me.

    • You have no idea what this woman looks like.there is no way porn can possibly be saving a marriage.if they have been together this long he isn't going to leave her over one thing they argue about that honestly bothers her.there is way more to relationships than a hot girlfriend and love.she cannot withdraw love... its love. and that last 2 sentences make you sound like a total user and if you really believe that its a dam shame because you will never truly experience love.

    • Also, sorry to be blunt. But you are 55, good looks doesn't last forever. His porn is what is saving your marriage, if you yell at him and start a big argument every time you catch him he's going to leave eventually because what he is getting from your marriage his love. What he used to get when you two were younger was an hot girlfriend and love. If you withdraw your love he's not getting anything anymore.

      --------------------------- Haters comments start here ----------------------- ;)

  • He's a man. And so he likes porn. If you can get his **** up, then yer fine.

    Well that's if he can get it up at all. >.<

  • it doesn't matter how old ur guy is but all guys wanna go for nice figure fit babes that's why only also he will be thinking bout f***ing those gals only what else can he think of

  • Sexual fantasies I guess. Or just beauty. Is he jacking off. Honestly there is nothing wrong with that as long as it is not taking away from his life or yours. They are not actual people they are images of actual people. The truth of the matter is girls remain pretty even as we get older. I am 20 and I see a lot of fourteen fifteen year old girls that are pretty and have been through puberty. I am no pervert I don't have relationships with them other than friendly and I try my best to have self control and not look at them in a sexual way. But instinct is instinct. Its sort of like this. Have you ever been so mad at someone maybe even a friend or a loved one and thought or even said oh I just want to kill him/her. You never meant that, you would never do that. It was just a feeling and even Gandhi probably felt like hitting people at times, but he didn't and I don't think your husband will do anything more than look. And pictures will never be a replacement for the real thing. I think part of the problem is mens natural instinct is to like variety. Even if a man was married to the most beautiful sexy women in the world he would find other women attractive and think about them sometimes.

    • Makes sense.

    • I agree with the last sentence... just think of tiger woods (he was married to a beautiful model and he still wanted some cheap whore)

  • I am not ur husband, but you should know that we are generally of two emotions, hunger and horny. It has no bearing on his feelings for you, he is merely enjoying the sight of young beautiful hotties on line. He may even jerk off to the pictures etc.. but inthe end he needs the affection of you his wife and companion.

    Hope this helps.

    Don't overthink it

    Accept the fact that healthy, sexually active men are designed by natural selection to be sexually excited by females whom they identify as healthy, sexually mature and receptive.

    To expect a man not to avail himself of a ready source of sexual excitement, particularly one that doesn't involve undesireable physical or emotional involvement, is like expecting a tiger not to hunt or a fish not to swim.

    bin.ahmed24@yahoo.com,bin.ahmed24@live.com

    skype:bin.ahmed24

    • I disagree you can control yourself if you want to

  • You should be greatful it's not younger pictures to be honest,

  • Show More

What Girls Said 46

  • HitByTheTruth stated " girls in the age bracket that you are talking about just have this look, this glow, this look or feel of innocence in their eyes and their smile."

    You know why, they haven't yet learned that most men are full of sh*t.

  • The same thing I am thinking while enjoying looking at young firm well endowed men 18-22---woo hoo wish I could have some of that! Men think women are not visual---so wrong! Take some time and puruse the cornicopica of firm well endowed young men and imagine what you would like to teach these innocent young boys! They are much firmer than your husband, face it, and though men would like to believe we are concerned with power and wealth only they are so dead wrong---wishful thinking on their parts---our little secret though---wouldn't hurt him to know you are enjoying the fine young men out there---might even make him think---and you will be surprised that he may feel a little threatened---its really quite fun--we women are just as visual and like this firm young flesh---so ladies, perv away----its fun and you may end up liking it morew than you ever thought :) We love to look at naked young men as much as men like to look at thelittle girlies---the more you do it---the more you like it----watching them masturbate is hot too!

  • Women are the fairer sex and men are the horny sex. Men are horny for hot young women, especially in the peak reproductive years. Media feeds into this natural desire by offering up scads of images of perfect-looking young women. Older women are not as attractive or fertile. So chances are he is looking and depositing these mental images of young girls into his “spank bank,” all men masturbate. You can be the most beautiful woman in the world and your man would still do this and desire lots of other women because this is how men are wired. If you lived in a society that allowed concubines and more than one wife, you husband would probably have picked some of those girls he looks at to be a wife or concubine. My advice to you is to not worry about his looking. You can’t stop it. All you can ask is that he do it in a way that doesn’t embarrass and disrespect you in public.

  • older guy, younger girls. what else is new

    • oleder women younger men====yunmmy! goes both ways!

  • EWW! that could be (a pontiel) kid's age of yours. That's digusting!

  • i highly doubt he purposley means to look at women in those ages, its just what the industry is right now and its what there is everywhere it will always be younger ladies because that's what people want. when looking at p*rn it will usually be young adult to mid adult women unless he searches for the more mature ladies wich is already too much work for a man..

  • Obviously he is visually stimulated. Have you ever thought of doing a Boudoir photo shoot for him? I am a photographer and I recently did one for a client in her late 50s. She was having the same issues as you. we did tons of photos, different lingerie, bedroom shots, some fun outdoors shots, bikini shots andything that might turn him on. I put together a calendar for him, one photo per month, and we also did a book, 28 pages of awesome sexy photos from completely covered cute shots to completely nude with a feather boa on shots.

    Of course I photoshoped out some wrinkle and made her sexier. She said since she gave it to him he has stopped looking for pics on the internet, he even told me thanks for doing it! It was done tastefully and it gives him Visual stimulation of His WIFE! Consider it!

  • gosh, many men are that way. Particularly I find when men are in their midlife crisis, they would do those nonsense things. Why?, to feel young, to escape the reality of being mature (I would avoid the word old as I believe 50ish is not old in my book). Remember when he looks at them, he probably thinks of himself when he was young, strong and would imagine those girls are head over heel for him.

    I do not have this problem with my husband. But my cousin (male cousin) is the worse on this. He is in his 60ish, and he went to cafe bar where the waitresses wear hardly anything (see through shirts and pants, ...yes, believe me) and they are in there 20ish. Can you believe that?

    I tell you another story, my ex-fiance when we were in our 20ish, he loved me dearly he said so all the time and I believe him till this date. Yet, he opened zillion social network accounts, collected zillion girls pictures, store dozen of girls cell numbers, chatted with them and even met them in person behind my back. When I caught him, he could not explain and kept running around my questions, giving me all BS lame answers and even tried to blame me as my head is not "clean" and that he did all those things but it mean nothing. Of course we broke off. After we broke off, he got him self drunk to near death, lost his job and kept IM me every 2, 3 months wanting me back. he Kept saying he is emptied inside, and dead inside without me and had been praying for me to come back. Can you understand this behavior?, I could not and I still can't. He loved me, but why did all that risking the love of his life? I think some men need to do such things to prove his power and that he is wanted and loved by women (one is not enough) even tho I was the only one he really loved and cared for.

    I think there is some defect in some of these men's gene...He struggled with his life for 2 years after the breaking up... I left and never wanted to look back... I was so painful for a year and finally moved on.

  • Guys are always looking at girls, period. It's inevitable. I'm sure that it's just because it's something pretty and nice to stare at.

  • There's been numerous studies to prove that men like to look at women who would be good suitors to carry their offspring, it's one of the strongest bases when it comes to physical attraction. He doesn't even completely understand why he has a sexual attraction to women of this age, it's just in his nature. Men are just built that way.

  • his pass life... when he was younger

  • beacause we are hotter then you, we are young and have tighter bodies. love exist but not in the way people want to believe it exists.

  • Everyone has their preference and certian things that turn them on when it comes to p*rn. I'm not gonna lie, I love my boyfriend to death but I still look at certain types of p*rn. Don't take it personal, if your really worried then just talk to him about it.

  • Because your old ass has a wrinkly p**** and they're probably way more willing and exciting in bed. Men have needs, sluttyahoes.

  • I heard that men get so much energy from those pictures of young girls. They even prefer average looking 20 years old rather than really beautiful 45 years old. It's man's nature to prefer young looking girls. Although I hate it, I have to admit it.

    I hated it when I found those pictures of naked young women in my father's computer. But I honestly believe that's why he still survives.

  • Give me his mail addy and I'll talk with him. ;-)

  • He's a pedofile and a creep

    • so? that's still way younger.. you can argue with me all you want, I stated my opinion and that's that

    • she never mention sex with 9 year old

  • Because that is what men do!

    • I have blocked no one! If you had been blocked you would not have been able to leave this comment here!

    • U are one of the hottest gal on this site... but y hav you blocked me

  • he;s a perv

  • You will have to admit, most of us were all a lot firmer, better looking and pert when we were in our 20's. Something about wanting our youth back that has a lot to do with it. I see some teenagers now that I secretly wish that I could be that girl with the knowledge I have now. Think most men are like this, some just hide it better than others.

    • we wives like to llok at the firm young hunks too!

  • I think he wanted a young girls. He still want a younger girl.

    • Just like we wives would love a younger stud!

  • Well, first off...what do you THINK he thinks about when he looks at those pictures?

    Obviously, the problem here isn't you at all.

    He is probably looking at these younger women out of appreciation, or out of his longing towards his youth. Could be many reasons. It's not really that big of a deal, I don't think.

    But the way you can gain SOME control over the situation is by dragging his attention AWAY from those girls and towards you. If he is craving younger women, he is probably craving youth and adventure. What you should do is surprise him! Show him a confident, sexy, and youthful side of you! Best way to do that is to try something you've never tried before! That doesn't necessarily refer to sex...but sex is good too! :D Suggest something unexpected. It's not only going to make HIM feel good, but it's going to make you feel very youthful again too!

    • If you are secure...you could talk about what it might be like if another girl were there. she doesn't actually have to be there....but it could excite him a lot and you might be surprised to find yourself excited yoo.

  • Men are so visual that they love porn. yes men of course are attracted to youthful looking women. But he's married and it would be an offense to your part of he looks and browse for girls in the internet, porn or not., for quite a while now that he devotes less and less to you and your family. I think you should discuss that with him, and not jump into conclusions. Hope you won't see him masturbate in front of the computer...

  • Instead of fighting against it, join in... (I don't mean look at young girls) haha.. I just mean, spice it up a bit, get kinky like.. give him a surprise in your undies when he comes home, or you show him where to put his hand, stuff like that, men (of all ages) love that stuff.. (I mean the majority, not all of them) ... Never mind the fact he looks at women.. so what? If he loves you, I don't think it should make a difference.. Cause you know he loves you..

  • Maybe this will enlighten you. I'm 25, I dated a guy who was 57. You would think I'd do it for him? No way. Men are insatiable. Please check out my question on dating a sex addict.

    Of course I'm not suggesting your husband is a sex addict. He's not. He's with you. He loves you so that's why he's staying with you. But he has needs and he's satisfying his needs via Internet porn, rather than soliciting real women.

    Don't compare yourself to young pornstars, yet don't delude yourself and think a 55 yo body is the same as a 20 yo body. Even I feel different at 25 than 18!

    Don't yell at your husband. Just suggest he do it out of your sight. Then try to spice up your bedroom life. Good luck and god bless.

  • You are probably very beautiful and your husband is probably still really attracted to you. But there is something very beautiful about youthful bodies and faces. And be honest with yourself, you've probably had a thought or two about some of the young men coming out of Hollywood these days. I wouldn't worry about it.

  • Honestly it's because girls who are 18-22 are a lot more beautiful than girls his age.

  • Are you having sex regularly? Does he seem bored with it? Sometimes we tend to fall into a routine. Try something new (that you're comfortable with). A new lube, some fun pj's that have a pit of pizazz to them... something to mix it up. Maybe use a couple of his own ties to restrain him to the bed. I'm sure that would get his attention! Let him know that even though you're not those girls he's looking at, you're a real, breathing woman who can please him.

    Men are visual, but I can understand you're hurt. Confront him on it, and try to reach an understanding. He may also be in denial that he's getting older. Which means that he's sensitive about his virility. Men at all stages in life are concerned about that. Let him know that he's still a man's man, and that he makes you feel like a real woman.

    Best of luck!

  • That's just the way most men are when they get older like 50's 60's some start liking girls who are pretty young like in their 20's

    My sister is going out with this guys who is so ugly and so old. Its f***ing nasty she's 23 and his f***ing like 57 ! And he stayed after her and he divorced his wife for her. And now they are planing on geting married in april/2010

    :( how sad.

    • She is your sister you re not supposed to Bash her.

      if you think its wrong then talk to her about it, maybe she is just seeking wealth! let her be

    • No prob, why you love it so much? lol

    • Thanks for sharing this story, I totally love it and I'm 24.

    • Show Older
  • Why don't you simply ask him about it, in a very gentle and calm way, even calling him "honey"?

    Lack of a gentle and effective communication is the main reasons of why so many couples break up. Cause they stop understanding each other.

  • This is just stuff that guys do. I'm sure he isn't planning to have an affair or run off with someome else, and I'm sure he dsnt look at it because he liks the look of them beta then u. Most men do ths, some however dnt.

  • Even if your man was in his 20's I'm pretty sure he'd still look at young women in porn.

  • Reading through this entire chain, I'll say this... many give arguments that it's only looking, no big deal, etc. That's really the lesser point.

    The bigger point is that he must be doing this in very obvious ways for you to notice and ask this question. That is disrespectful. I watch porn, I like to look at hot men, look at their packages, etc. But I don't do this or comment on it in front of my boyfriend. Plus if you have children (hopefully not daughters), this would seriously be disturbing to them.

    Further, the other big point is whether or not his doing so is taking away from your sex life, such that he's neglecting to have sex with you because he's getting the majority of his satisfaction elsewhere. That's also a problem; I had a major issue in another relationship where I felt like the guy I was with preferred porn to me - he was very obvious about his habits, and I started to feel unsatisfied and neglected. Again, I watch porn, but I'd much rather have real sex with my bf; it's more of a backup when I'm home alone for a while and horny.

    When I'm in my 50's, no doubt I'll find younger twenty something men to be very attractive. But you can bet I won't obviously be checking them out or looking at pictures of them in front of my hubby, and I won't be neglecting my sex life with my hubby.

    • I don't know what you mean? What specifically in my post are you referring to?

    • Not sure that it is that cut and dry.

  • Not because your husband is married to you that don't mean he is not attracted to other things...Lighten up and pretend you don't see what he is doing...A good man is hard to find nowadays.

  • I'm 22 and my dad is around your husbands age. So this is just really wrong. All he's thinking when he looks at them is that he wants to have sex with them. That's it. Just tell him to stop and talk to him about it. Put your foot down. Maybe he could just buy magazines as they're more soft core than the weird stuff on the internet. If I were you, I would log onto his computer and see what stuff (if any) he's downloaded and what sites he's visited when he's not home. He's not going to tell you what he's looking at but like someone else has said, he could be viewing child porn for all you know. I know that snooping is a bit dodgy but just do it because if you ask to see his computer, he'll just wipe all the stuff off his computer. I have older men chat me up and its excruciating. How do you know that he's not cheating on you?

    It is a habit but its affecting your marriage very badly so he must stop. I know men like porn, I can put up with a few magazines stashed away but he's on the internet all the time its serious and bad! He's not valuing you with respect by watching porn all the time. I think the soft core magazines could be a solution but to be honest he just sounds like a pervy old man to me. No nice older man chats me up, its always the ones who probably have wife and kids at home or just want a one night stand. If he wanted you, he would spend the time he's watching porn with you. You say you're pretty and in good shape so its just odd that he would want a movie instead of the real thing!

    • Ok, slow down Armageddon. You are making WAY too many "worst-case" scenarios and assumptions. You're going to get the poor woman divorced. The only good thing you mentioned was "therapists". If anything, the "help" they need lies in therapy.

    • She doesn't trust him anyway or else she wouldn't be asking her question here. I would check the computer because it could lead to him cheating/being unhappy in relationship and he's obviously not going to tell her in that case if she confronts him.hes obviously watchin excessive porn and this can be considered an addiction which a LOT of couples therapists have to deal with.

    • > If I were you, I would log onto his computer and see what stuff (if any) he's downloaded and what sites he's visited when he's not home

      Advising the OP to violate the trust of the man she presumably wants to stay with seems counterproductive. There's already one stressor in their relationship that they have to figure out a way to resolve -- don't throw a second one into the mix.

  • he is a guy... that's just what happens. Its not that he loves you any less, but men have a lot of trestosterone even when they are older, and that's a way of releasing it. when you stop having intercourse that when it becomes a problem. Some of my friends and I were talking about this the other day... and this also is in reply to all the other that have commented before myself... the difference between a beautiful woman and young girls is simply... older women are beautiful, elegant, classy, and more distiguished, whereas younger girls are "sexy, hot" almost slutty if you will... and it has nothing to do what he is attracted to or what he wants you to be, its just that they are young, crazy, indistinguished and that's what is advertised in magazines.

  • I don't know but I think that if his bahavior is hurtful you need to sit him down and have a serious conversation. If he really loves you then hurting you would be the last thing he would want to do. I mean how would be feel if you were constantly lusting after younger hot men?

    • I feel the same way. Why hurt your wife or girlfriend and make them wonder if they are attractive to you?! Be respectful and pay attention to THEM! Don't act like a horny teenager and jerk off to p*rn online. That's not cool.

  • Men are visual and porn gives temporary visual stimulation to allow one to please themselves.When he looks,he is looking for temporary gratification.Regardless of his age,regardless of your age,regardless of the age of the girls,it has nothing to do with YOU,how he feels about you,your relationship or his love or respect for you.Whether male or female,it's natural to look at something attractive,and men as women,will continue to do so.And no matter how in love a guy is with his wife,how sexy/hot his wife is and how much he loves and respects her,there will always be attractive girls around.Does that mean he'll look?Most likely he will look.Does that mean he'll touch?No.Don't feel bad about it,those other women don't compare to wifey

  • After looking at all the other answers, I think it is important to remember men's sexual experiencs that have programmed them for the rest of their life. Young boys learn early on the power of a sexual image to stimulate them to orgasm. This is an experience that they carry with them for the rest of their lives and forms their adult sexual preferences and habits. Even when they are adults and are in a wonderful relationship, they still carry those experiences with them. Does it make them bad or untrustworthy? No. It is just how they have been trained to stimulate themselves. It doesn't make them monsters or horrible husbands, unless they cross these lines:

    1) He masturbates to orgasm by watching porn, thus denying you satisfaction and pleasure.

    2) He starts communicating with real people for sexual gratification

    3) He starts looking at child porn, which is definitely crossing the line of social acceptability

    4) He becomes Obsessed with porn

    Other than that, I think he is just a pretty normal guy. I think it is also good to remember that if he is getting older too, then he might have trouble maintaining an erection, which can be a very distressing issue for a man. So he might be trying to find that extra stimulation so he can maintain an erection. Just a thought!

    • Erm excuse me... I bash off to porn all the time, I NEVER deny my woman sexual pleasure. There is NOTHING wrong with masterbating to porn, girls do it, guys do it.

    • Alright, you got a point on #1

    • I'm mostly with you except for #1. All guys masturbate to orgasm watching porn. That's what it's for. If you don't want them to do this you are bound to be disappointed. Really. And if you don't want them to do this then you really don't want them to watch porn at all. That's what porn makes them do. They watch it, they get turned on, and then they jerk off.

  • I'm so sick and tired of hearing guys defending themselves with "all guys watch porn, that's just the way it is". Well f***ing do something about it then. I have the same problems with my husband and it's always the same story, it's just something men do. But if we have to learn to live with it, why can't men try to live without it? If it's "just porn", it's not a big deal, nothing to get upset about then it shouldn't be hard to just stay away from it.

    But it's something they've been doin since they were young and you're husband will most likely not stop looking at younger girls.

    Do what I did, I let my husband know that with his stupid "habbit" comes consequences and not to expect me to treat him respectfully when he's being so disrespectful to me. Don't be afraid of letting him know he's a f***ing d***head when he is from time to time.

    I trust my husband with my life, but when it comes to this I have no trust in him what so ever and I make sure he knows it.

    Good luck

    • I can actually see your point, but I simply can't agree. It's always a mistake to expect your partner to change, especially once you're married. If you didn't complain about it when you first started dating, then it's FAR too late to expect him to change now.

      We can only change ourselves.

      If you can't change to accept his silly "personal time" then you should marry someone else.

      Hugs?

    • Okey - find your young females and stop training them to shake their asses and look for sex and pose nude...you start defending because girls do it for money and some just like being looked at. IT takes 2 people to tangle my friend, you have a lot to learn still if you this one sided. Let him look, let him masterbate, I don't see you doing much more than saying "please me and then prepare to be shreded by my bullsh*t additude." You need to grow up, everything is a male and females fault together

    • Maybe the problem is with our society who says it is wrong to do it, if EVERYONE uses the same excuse, it might be a valid one. Porn does not threaten you, if you are secure in your marriage and relationship. Open your mind to allowing your husband the visual stimuli that his mind needs and don't worry about it so much. Your needs are different than his, he should not expect you to change to adapt to his way of thinking.

      Good Luck, James

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