Are there any guys who aren't only looking for sex right away, any teen guys that are interesting in getting to know a girl, opening her door, taking her to dinner, etc. Or is it all just hooking up on the mind now?
Every guy wants to be the knight in shining armour and rescue the girl he loves and keep her safe forever. This is most mens deepest desire. But somewhere on the road this gets lost...
In this days society a guy like that in often not appreciated. Many girls would consider him a tool, wimp or the dreaded "nice guy" that will be a good friend but nothing more. It takes a mature woman to appreciate chivalry. Immature girls often see this as a weakness they can exploit.
When a guy runs into too many of these immature girls he start losing hope in chivalry. Especially when he notice that he gets no respect from women while the "bad boys" do.
Chivalry is a two way street. As a girl you have to prove yourself "worthy" of such treatment. You can't just expect it or take it for granted...
Is charity really dead? Are there any rich businessmen who aren't only looking to make a profit, any rich strangers that are interesting in getting to know someone, paying his tuition, buying his groceries, etc. Or is it all just 'my work, my money' on the mind now?
What do you think?
Couldn't resist, sorry, but I'm sure that makes my view on the matter more than obvious. Chivalry is no different from charity, and a women expecting a man to open the door for her is no different than asking a wealthy neighbor for some extra cash. I open doors for PEOPLE, not just women. I pay for my own meals, rather than forcing others to pay for them, and expect others to act with a similar amount of common sense. Do I refuse to go somewhere with a girl if it doesn't automatically lead to sex? No. But that *certainly* doesn't mean that sex isn't on my mind.
Chivalry is and always has been a convoluted way to get sex. Few guys (I would say none, but then some guy would disagree with me out of spite) are chivalrous for absolutely no reason, and when they have a reason.. that reason is sex. Disagree? What, you think he's with you for the tax cut, or because the smell of your perfume reminds him of his chilhdhood? Hardly.
Well when I was in high school, I always held the door open for every girl. Once a girl and her friend, who I held the door open for everyday on the way to lunch, yelled at me for it. she said she didn't like me and that I should stop flirting with her... I was just being nice.
So I learned that sometimes actions of chivalry can be misinterpreted as acts of trying to hookup. But I still do things like that, people still assume that I'm flirting with a lot of girls, but it's not like that I just enjoy being nice.
If I do like the girl I try to get to know her, getting closer to her provides a good foundation for any relationship, friend or otherwise.
But when I am just in the mood for just sex, I go for a direct approach, but I've not gone for the direct approach a lot, but I do feel like doing that sometimes. Even when I do that I still like to be chivalrous, I just don't care much about making the relationship last.
Just because a guy doesn't do things like open her door for her doesn't mean he is all about sex. That just isn't some guys' style. It's something that less and less modern men do and less and less modern women want it done. Personally I like that because it implies the woman is a frail, delicate thing that is dependent on me and I don't like that.
I don't recall seeing anything in the code of chivalry about opening doors or paying for other people's food, but I do remember that only very few of the rules involved women at all, and the general gist of those was "please don't kill women, they're pretty helpless against an armed knight".
I wouldn't say completely dead. Modified to fit the times though. I find the original chivalry quite sexist. It wasn't about respecting a woman for who she was it was because woman were viewed as weak and needed a man to set them straight. I'd say a better word to describe chivalrous for today is "gentleman". I open doors for girls. I also open doors for guys. I'd say I'm probably more inclined to assist a female but that's just a basic instinct not really something thought out. As far as first date sex or no sex or whatever. I really couldn't say from personal experience being that I'm still a virgin and have never had a girlfriend but I think compatibility of personality is far more important than sex. I mean physical contact would always be good but I think I'd rather hold a girl and talk with her than jump in the sack on the first date.
im 17 and want a relationship, but no sex till I'm married
I think its still around :). I have guys open doors for me and stuff. and my boyfriend knows me better than anyone I know. I just think the majority of guys are just nice so they can get sex. But there are a few nice guys out there lol