Mom won't let me wear boy clothes or get a boy haircut?

so I am a pansexual girl and I want to be more androgynous. I've never liked wearing girl clothes (except when I was like 5) and everyday I wear jeans and a t shirt. but I want to wear actual boy clothes. I have swim trunks and a swim shirt that I wear over a one piece but I want more than that. I also wanna get a boy haircut but my mom isn't gonna let me. I have asked her multiple times. any way to get her to let me be more androgynous? (also don't ask me if I am questioning my gender cuz honestly idk)

Updates:
guys stop saying im 18+! it's the youngest age option they had but no i am not 18, i'm a minor!

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Most Helpful Guy

What Guys Said 5

  • Your profile has you as over 18, if you are then what business is it of hers? Do you, unless she's buying then do her, until you can afford to do you. If you are living on her income then get a job and buy whatever you want. If you are under 18, then some compromise is in order. I love the saying it's not boy clothes or girl clothes it's my clothes. I like them and I'll ware them.

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  • I say you should just go and do it anyway if you are really between the ages of 18-24 you shouldn't have a problem getting your own haircut or buying a few items of clothing :)
    Just do it and show how happy it makes you and I reckon your mum will come around.

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  • lol wtf...

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  • it says that u are above 18 so why dont you just get it yourself? u dont need permission anymore.

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  • Wear... baggy clothing?

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm guessing you aren't actually an adult like it says. As such, I'd suggest just waiting until you are 18 if your mother is actually that strict. If you really do want to try to convince your mom, maybe ask her why she doesn't want you doing those things? Also, you can try to do it gradually. Like, first buy clothing that's slightly large and not very feminine, but isn't obvious, and just gradually make your wardrobe more and more androgynous.

    (Also, I feel the need to mention the existence of gender-nonconforming/gender queer people, since many people aren't aware that's even a thing and it seems like something you might want to look up.)

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    • no I am a minor and my mom doesn't want me looking like a boy. she says I was born a girl so that's how my life will be. and I do know about genderqueer people but I'm not sure yet. took me 2 years to even realize I was pan

    • Ah, gotcha. Well, maybe show her pictures of girls who have short hair and still look feminine? Like Emma Watson and whatnot. As for the clothes, like I said, just buy gradually less feminine clothing. And don't ask if you can get an androgynous haircut or clothing, just show her pictures of whatever it is you want, or show her clothing online and ask her if you can get them without mentioning that they're not very feminine.

  • One you can get your haircut without their permission just save up for it.
    Anyways though I suggest faking it till you make it. It's sad and it sucks but it will make things so much easier and you'll have support for things like college.
    But if your courageous take it upon yourself tone your own adult. Buy your own clothes, do your laundry, get your haircut

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  • They have computer apps where you can play with different haircuts and cloths with a picture from you. Experiment a little bit, and show your mom the best results (in which you still have a female appearance). Its a start if she approoves that.

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  • wwww
    You can cut your own hair short (though your mom will nag soo bad)
    Wearing boy clothes... Isn't it just wearing jeans and a hoodie? lol
    However, you're 18 and older.. You should be old enough to get all those stuff yourself..

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