This is primarily a question to girls since guys rarely mind their girlfriends/wives looking at porn.
I have seen many questions on here from women wondering what to do about their guy looking at porn or asking why guys look at porn. I have answered many but I now want to know why girls have a problem with this. why?
I am not going to go into exactly why guys or girls like porn here, but I will say this. There is really no logical connection between the activity of looking at porn or other people or even masterbating and being in a relationship. stop looking for one. why do you think there is one? why do you think that someone would stop looking at porn just because they are in a relationship? I fail to see the connection. women always want to make some connection and talk about how they must not be good enough or that their guy must not be getting what he wants. where is this coming from?
consider this: if I play soccer and then I get in a relationship, is there any reason to stop playing soccer? of course not, same goes for porn and masterbation. maybe you are now thinking, "but hey, soccer isn't sexual. since the guy gets sex now, why would her need to masturbate or look at other girls?"
you are right, relationships and masturbating to porn or looking at it do offer some similar things. but now consider this example. if I play soccer and then I begin to play basketball, should I quit soccer? of course not, that would be silly. but wait, soccer and basketball are both sports, both similar physical activities, why need both? well, maybe I like both, why would I quit one just because I play another?
Similarly, looking at girls and masturbating is a similar but entirely different activity than being in a relationship and having sex. why would one preclude the other? why not do both? one really has nothing to do with the other, just as soccer has nothing to do with basketball. why am I only allowed to do one sexual activity but many physical sport type ones? what is wrong with doing several sexual type activities? if one doesn't get in the way of the other then it is fine. maybe if the porn stops the sex life then it is a problem, but usually it doesn't. if the sex life isn't happening it is probably for another reason than the porn.
now there are some sexual activities like cheating that we don't do when in a relationship, but that is because they actually ruin the relationship and involve lying and disease and many complications and they involve real feelings for someone else. it makes sense not to cheat, but it doesn't make sense not to look at porn. there is just no logical connection. just because porn and relationships both involve nudity and sexuality doesn't mean there is a causal connection. there is no reason why someone wouldn't enjoy both and no reason to worry about it or get mad or upset about it.
let people play two different sports, as long as they don't miss practice.
Most Helpful Girl
Through socialization, girls have learned that our sole value as a human being is based not on our behaviors or accomplishments, but on our physical attractiveness. We have learned this not just through the media, but the fact that men gaze at women on a regular basis as if we can't see them. This results in issues of insecurity and jealousy. I truly hate it when my man and I are walking down the street and he looks some girl up and down. Then when I call him out on it, he makes some awkward excuse. It's so disrespectful, not just to me, but to her as well. I hate it even more when I'm just trying to go to work or something and I can see guys just staring at me. It's especially nice when they honk their horns like it doesn't make them appear incredibly desperate. And porn? Well we all need a little release sometimes. I don't think porn is bad, but I prefer to watch it with him. It would be real shady if he felt he had to be secretive about his watching porn. That's the only time I would have a problem with it.
I think you just have to understand the context in which women grow up in this country. As a gender, we are constantly being sexualized. There's bound to be repercussions.2