Needs a little work...

Okay so I am average height but a bigger guy. Big chest, a bit of a belly, and a round face. I am healthy, never been called ugly, and girls usually refer to me as cute. I have an awesome personality and it's landed me some attractive girlfriends in the past. But now in my mid 20's- I notice people aren't like that anymore. It all seems to be about appearance. For example, I've had a major crush on my best girl friend basically my whole life. But she's with this Hollister-looking guy who's a total jerk to her. Lies, cheats, speaks to her really disrespectfully, etc. My question is- why wouldn't a girl/woman want someone like me who could use a little work physically but is a great person and would treat her like gold? As oppose to a model-like jerk who's never going to change?

Updates:
I have a babyface. My ex left me because apparently my appearance is an issue to her now. I'm actually thinner than when we got together and dated all through college. I just don't get it. She wants a hot guy just like my best friend.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, you are completely misjudging an entire species of humans because of a few bad experiences. People see what they want to see. If it's easier for you to think girls are only superficial (which, I can tell you plenty of stories about guys that won't even talk to a girl if they aren't attracted to her), you are missing the bigger picture. Don't waste your time being in love with a girl you can't have. If she's with someone else, let it go. Just because he looks like a model doesn't mean there isn't something else she's seeing in him you don't know about, no matter how it appears on the surface. There's always room for improvement. A lot of the time if a guy isn't taking care of himself, it's going to reflect in a girl's eyes not because he isn't a superficial ideal, but perhaps because of what message that conveys. If he isn't willing to do the personal work or make the effort, why should she or anyone else? If you think you could use some shaping up, do it. But do it for you, not for someone else. Work on creating the person you want to see and be, and the universe will work with you. If someone isn't seeing you for what you are, you either have to make more of an effort and step it up or find someone who is willing to take you as is.

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What Girls Said 11

  • yeah maybe she likes jerks? idk

    if you got a great personality, then you're going to get with a girl who appreciates that and your cute appearance isn't a bad thing either

    different type of girls like different types of things. so your ex sounds pretty shallow and left you on appearances. who knows, maybe she'll end up with 10 kids on a trailer park with this jerk. just let it be as it wants to be.

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  • Whatever, I don't think it matters. My first love was short and pretty chubby, he had piercings in his face and gauges in his ears. I'm tall, skinny, I was blond at the time and everyone said I was way out of his league. Did I care? No. Was I in love? Madly. It all depends on the girl, in time you'll find one. I'm sure of it. I can't tell you that you're going to get your best friend, if you say she's with this jerk it's probably because of his looks.. girls are bitches. Appearance is big to many of us, but then again not the biggest issue in the world.

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  • well my guy is a lilttle chunky and has a baby face and I am madly in love but I am also the type that doesn't give a damn what other people think about me either so maybe you are just going after the wrong type girls who are worried about what thier friends will think about them being with you.good luck

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  • Hormones?

    All sorts of reasons really. A lot of my girlfriends have dated jerks in the past, and the answers I get most often are 'I thought I could fix him' and 'nice guys are boring'.

    My guess is that she's looking for the wrong kind of excitement in her relationships.

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  • Girls are sometimes blind to the great guys they have in front of them. Maybe you should tell her how you feel. The worst that could happen is that she says she's not interested but at least you will know.

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  • I think what's going on is you're wondering why your best friend wants that kind of guy and not why girls want that kind of guy. It seems that she is still going through the self-damage phase that so many women go through. My question is, when she does come around, she may not be looking for you. I would move on and look at other women, she's your friend. If she sees you, she will find you, don't worry.

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  • I hate those kinda girls! I love bigger guys, love being engolfed by their embrace, just seems safe. I don't understand why girls these days even give those guy the time of day. I think they are complete arrogant and cocky. I would rather be with a guy who knows how to treat their girl rather than just being a pretty face... It's almost like those guy are just a fashion accesory. (sp?) heh.. my brain is dead

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  • Well have you ever seen the movie shallow Hal? I think you should find a girl/women that is smart enough to look at people for their personality not their looks like on the movie shallow Hal the guy gets hypnotised and can not see girls for what they look like but what's on the inside now we know people can not be hypnotised but once again find a girl smart enough to look at people for their personality their inside not just their looks hope this helps

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  • i love a great personality and cute face ; )

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  • What can I say. If you don't like what you see in the mirror, get serious and change it! Hard work...sure, but worth it if you don't believe you're getting the respect you deserve...

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    • Ya.. Funny though, I am fine with what I see in the mirror.. It was her who wasn't.. In case that wasn't apparent enough... I am totally satisfied with myself.. I wasn't getting the respect I deserve.. Fuck that, she's no supermodel... She went from not to hot.. from ugly duckling to swan... It's in her head.. The world is a cruel place...

  • There are girls out there that don't make appearance 100% Just like there are guys that won't look at anyone but the barbie looking girl that is a bitch and doesn't appreciate him. People are getting shallow more so then we ever used to be. It's all about looks, immediate pleasure and status. It's hard to find a real person now

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What Guys Said 1

  • dont worry brotha you got confidence and all that so you be aight but that girl gon' regret it later when she realises who she dealin with. and ur question kinda reminded me of a movie. invention of lying lol its a cool movie

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