My boyfriend thinks I dress for attention?

Question

Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together over 7 months. He knows me pretty well. But I'm not sure he is comfortable with me being myself in public. He thinks I dress to draw attention and that I stick out. I dress the way I like dressing and or what I feel like wearing depending on the day. Of course I have my own sense of style, I've been expressing myself through clothes ever since I've been able to dress myself. I don't wear slutty, revealing, or anything like that necessarily. It's just eye catching stuff that will most times stand out in a normal everyday crowd. My hair is colorful with blue and blue faded to green. My clothes are usually colorful, if not I wear simple greys, blacks, or whites. I also have matching purses and a ton of awesome shoes. I don't intend on drawing much attention to myself. I'm a rather shy person, I just enjoy clothes and expressing myself that way. Whether we're going into the city or around the corner. I could care less if I stick out, because that's not really my problem... I shouldn't have to milk down and dress boring just so I don't draw much attention to myself. If I am unable to express myself this way I get depressed and end up unhappy. My boyfriend occasionally voices his opinion of the way I dress, how people stare. But I don't wanna waste my life not expressing myself and being unhappy just to please some random person on the street. He's said before that he'd prefer if I dressed more mature and not so attention grabbing. It's not like I'm taking hours to get ready either, I don't wear any makeup whatsoever. I just stand out I suppose. But he doesn't seem to understand how important it is to me. He just assumes I'm trying to grab attention or something. How can I make him understand?

honor96 · Accepted Answer

I Truly believe that he does not have that much Confidence's in your Relationship and feels you are maybe bored with him so he may feel that you are trying to Attract other men.

You can take him to a nice place to eat or to a quiet place and just tell him that you love him and he needs to have more Trust in you. I hate to say this but for me I can't be with someone who is always talking about how I look or how I wear clothes. It is a Trust and Confident Issue with him and he is afraid he may lose you.

That's just my input and I hope everything works out for you.

ccp16 · Accepted Answer

Well I assume you dressed like this when he met you? If so, he has no right to say you should change for him and he only cares about who he thinks you could be, not who you are. If you just all of a sudden came home with your hair dyed and changed you wardrobe to all of this, then you still have to right to do these things but he would also have the right to be a bit upset I think, but this does not sound like your case anyway..

Our_Dilemmas · Accepted Answer

This is a hard one because i think for many guys they think that a girl wears make up or clothes to get attention of the opposite sex (or same if you are that way inclined). The fact is that often girls will make an effort more to make themselves feel better or out of habit than to try and attract someone. Have you tried explaining to him that it makes you feel more confident about yourself? Everybody is different, if we weren't it would be pretty boring!

spuitkaas · Accepted Answer

Your boyfriend sounds pretty annoying to me. I don't like people who are so scared to stand out a bit.
You already dr3ssed like that when you guys got together so he knew what was waiting for him. Some people think they can change someone in a relationship, but you can't. And he has to realize that too. Say to him that you don't want to change your style and that he has to accept you who you are.

523206720 · Accepted Answer

Break up with him. He is trying to control you and it is making you unhappy.

linds34 · Accepted Answer

Date someone who's not controlling and enjoys your style.

Anonymous · Answer

So your boyfriend has self esteem issues and you do dress to get attetion (intended or not - you admitted yourself that you do stand out, hance you will get attention).

Relationships are all about compromise. I could say "no you need to start dressing properly" or "no he needs to back off" but neither of these things are going to happen and you know it. Maybe you can compensate by dressing a little less extravagent and maybe he will then calm down a little. Everyone wins.

HereForTheDay · Answer

I guess I would ask what is so bloody wrong with dressing for attention? We all dress to impress, dress to attract... dressing is our armor, one of our outward expressions of what we are as people. Go ahead, dress in the way that makes you feel good

JSmith925 · Answer

Ah, honey, everyone dresses for attention. Otherwise we would all be attired in black with no buttons like Amish.

JohnBelluci · Answer

" My hair is colorful with blue and blue faded to green" wow...

I_am_repulsive · Answer

Wow.. I guess most men thinks that way and are worried that if you dress well, you'll find someone else better or something; not much you can do there.

Anonymous · Answer

Men that think that way, there's not much you can do.

baka01 · Answer

he fell for you like that, he has no reason to complain.

KDA20 · Answer

A man should never tell a woman how to dress

Anonymous · Answer

Well, didn't you grab his attention

Anonymous · Answer

You likely do

My boyfriend thinks I dress for attention?

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