What does it mean when somebody tells you: "you are very cute... for a [insert ethnicity] "?

okay so my friend said to me: "You are very cute...for a [insert ethnicity here]"

I have no idea what that means...! :S Could anyone explain please?

I do not know if I should even take that as a compliment or not.

Does the second part after the "..." degrade the first part (which had sounded more like a complement?

or

Does the fact he added what he said after the "..." mean that he has prejudice against that race and looks at it as a 'lower one' but still finds me cute?

or does his statement mean something eeeeeeelssse?

I don't get it...

He normally flirts with me, so I had no problem thinking he thought of me as attractive, plus he has told me: "you are very beautiful" "you are very attractive" etc but now...he made this statement adding that second part to it... I don't know what to think..

Guys please give me your perspective as a male.

Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Remember these fun oldies: "For a black man, your English is excellent!" "You're pretty bright for a girl."

    Bigots being as dumb as they are, they think the bigotry's okay as long as they flatter you. Smart bigots--rare enough, but they're around--have the sense to keep their mouths shut about it.

    Your call, but for me, being a stupid bigot is a dealbreaker. In fact, hanging around a stupid bigot is a dealbreaker; if can tolerate that, what other character defects do you allow?

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What Guys Said 1

  • whatever your ethnicity is, he usually doesn't find girls of that type attractive but he does find you attractive.

    i think it was a poor choice of words, not that he has something against whatever the ethnicity is

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What Girls Said 6

  • I've been told "you're really chill for a white girl" and "you're pretty cute for a white girl."

    I just take it as a compliment and don't read too much into it, you can't really control what they think or say, so it's your decision if you want to over analyze or take it as a compliment (which it probably was). If they say it in a douche-esque manner then you can believe that it was a backhanded compliment, but most times it's a straight forward compliment. A nice onee ((:

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  • I would take it as a complement. Because I use the phrase myself. But I'm saying that I don't usually go for his ethnicity, but he's cute.

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  • They are trying to say that you're race is not, in his view attractive, but for some reason you stand out because you are pretty...

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  • thats a backhanded compliment

    that's like saying women of your ethnicity are usually ugly, but not you.

    personally I would quit dealing with this guy. trust me if something like that comes out of his mouth, other ignorance is sure to be behind it. I have found people who say that usually have other preconceived notions about whatever ethnicity they were talking about as well.

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  • i usually say that to my friends. I'm hispanic. I usually don't find white guys attractive. so sometimes I will tell my friends he's cute for a white guy. it means that's race is really not my type but he is very cute. he most likely thinks your very pretty and like you if he said that. he's trying to say your different then your typical race.

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  • so I know I'm not a guy, but I'm gonig to answer your question anyways. it sounds very prejudiced. maybe he was trying to compliment you but f***ed it up. I mean, the way he said it makes him sound like he doesn't like that race at all.

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