Guys, why do men not believe that women dress for their own confidence more than for male attention?

I'm not saying there aren't girls out there who do dress for male attention but honestly a lot of us don't.

Can you imagine if we got up every morning and chose what to wear based on whether or not men would like it? In that case we probably wouldn't wear anything!

But I feel like a lot of men just assume women dress the way they do to get men's attention when really I dress for comfort and care more about what other women think about the way I look than I do men (women have a competitive thing). And when a woman compliments my outfit it means a lot and gives me a confidence boost more than when a man does (again not a lesbian, it's the competitive thing).

Why do guys always immediately assume we're dressing for them?

Updates:
I believe the answers to this question have basically helped me make my point. A lot of the answers were men saying that we do dress for their attention, completely ignoring the idea that we could have other priorities like the weather or our mood or our favourite colour.
The person who talked about it being internalised sexism probably hit the nail on the head, but maybe it isn't the women who have internalised the idea that we should dress for men, maybe it's the men who have internalised it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't. Just like I don't appreciate girls staring down their noses at me for wearing a tank top to cool off when I'm in hot weather for prolonged time periods, I don't judge you for what you wear.

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What Guys Said 21

  • You dress for men because you exist in a social system that is driven by men, and in which sex is one of the major driving factors.

    That doesn't mean that every time you put on a piece of clothing, you're consciously thinking "I'm gonna go impress some guys today!" What it means is that the beauty standards for women are based on what men find attractive, or what women believe men will find attractive. When women are competitive with each other over beauty, it's driven by social struggle to be seen as the most ideal mate.

    Outside of the pursuit of immediate necessities like food and water, nearly every social behavior a human takes is driven by courtship.

    You've internalized it and are not always aware of it, because that paradigm surrounds you daily, but it's there.

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  • ...

    You answered your own question in the question title. "Women dress for their own confidence", and where do they derive this confidence from? From men staring and complimenting them.

    You want to outdo other women because you're battling for male attention. I don't care how much you deny this, you are, and if you're a lesbian, then it's the same exact concept, only you're fighting for the attention of the same sex.

    Please go.

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  • Most men don't assume you do it FOR us per se, but regardless as to who you do it for, if a guy finds it attractive he is going to look and or try to approach you.

    Just imagine if we assumed that ALL girls just dressed for competition with other girls' outfits so we didn't ever approach any girls.

    It's like, how are we supposed to know if you are dressing that way to try and attract a guy to date or you're just competing in girl fashion. We can't possibly know the difference in our minds. I get your point, but you have to understand that we only know what you tell us or what we see, so if you're looking fly and attractive, most of us are going to gravitate towards that.

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  • I never assume that with a girl I'm dating but am always appreciative if she lets me think it's for me. If it's someone on the street I don't know I just assume she is a girl that has it going on and wants everyone to know it. Guys and girls. And that in turn gives her greater confidence which in turn makes her even sexier to the rest of us.

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  • Because your confidence is boosted by male attention. What do you think you women are in competition about, if not the level of male attention?
    Don't get me wrong, it's not wrong or unacceptable in any way at all. Just see the reality.

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  • I believe you when you say that you're primarily trying to compete with other women, I just also believe that you're doing that for the attention of men. So you are dressing nice for the attention of men but indirectly.

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  • Because I smoke crack in the back of a van ofa pickup truck in the name of charity and clarity and Philip

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  • Well I don't really think that way. I just either like or don't really notice the way a girl looks usually lol. I mean I wouldn't assume anything unless she was like wearing something super revealing.

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  • Women dress to impress each other. Men don't care.

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  • What about putting on clothes gives you confidence?

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  • Because if you had confidence in your body, You would not dress.

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  • I don't know. I'll ask them.

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  • Younger men are naive.

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  • Cause some men just don't trust woman.

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  • The power of marketing!

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  • Because most of us just dress for what looks best for women probably

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  • I've heard that when a girl is single, she'll dress more revealingly, but when she's with someone, she tends to cover up more, don't know how true that is, just something. I've heard on multiple occasions

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  • Because women complain constantly about how much of a hassle it is to get ready in the day and then when a guy asks why they do it then if they complain so much and hate it, women say it's because guys judge them.

    So you tell me why we don't believe you when you later say you don't do it for men. Either what you said about being judged was a lie or what you are saying now is a lie. Either way you ladies lie. It's just a question of which one is the lie...

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  • then why does it take so much time for you to just pick out an outfit?

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  • you people don't wear dress for boyfriend that is why i says don't think girls do something for you so split the bill even t is your first date. why i am saying this is some girls said me that we wear dress to impress him in the dates.

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    • I'm not sure I understand but I agree we dress nice for a date.

      I meant like on a general day to day basis :)

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    • I never said men did, I was just wondering why a lot of men I've spoken to think that women dress for men rather than for themselves.
      Not who was selfish or who paid for dates or whether men dressed for women.

    • will you wear uncomfortable dress to your date, no.

  • i never bought that excuse. it makes no sense to me... .

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