What does his behavior mean? Friends... or more?

OK, so it's a guy I work with, and he is naturally very energetic and up-beat, which makes things confusing... I went to a New Years Eve party with him and some of his friends and a few other people that I work with (mutual friends).

I'll just outline some of the key points:

- I tried to assess whether or not he treated me differently than the other girls there, and it seems almost like he is friendlier and more open around them, and more reserved around me (may or may not be a good thing - maybe he's naturally upbeat, but shy when there's actually someone he likes?)

- As far as physical proximity, he sat next to me on the couch a couple times, briefly (no other seats were open, although he could have stood... and he high fived me once for something decently significant)

- He was choosing a person to partner up with someone else for a popular alcoholic game (think everybody knows what this is) - and looked right at me, and quickly averted to the girl sitting next to me and picked her... later on, he picked me to play on a team with a lawn gnome that they endearingly called "Al" (like he was "one of the guys")... so I think that was kind of like him playfully messing with me. It definitely wasn't cruelly done.

- Every once in a while, I would make extended eye contact with him, but it didn't happen a whole lot, since he was kind of in charge of the party so he had to keep moving around and mingling with everybody

- And finally, when I said I was going to have to leave is when things got complicated... I was just telling him how I had a 45 minute drive and blah blah blah (I started babbling, 'cause I was nervous) and so he kind of escorted me over to the door where I got my shoes, and took my coat out of the coat closet for me. So while I was fumbling on my shoes, we were just kind of chatting about the party and making jokes about work... I told him that he didn't have to stand here and wait for me to leave, but he quickly said "no, no, that's fine" and stayed. A minute or so later, I was thinking I was gonna grab my coat from him and throw it on but he actually held it out for me and helped me put it on (courtesy? or more?) - btw, I made an idiot out of myself there, too - couldn't get my freaking arm in the sleeve

- I should mention that the whole time he was talking to me, he would keep eye contact and smile slightly (although he is generally kind of a "smiley" person) It almost looked like he was "studying" me - he had a very assessing look in his eye, but not really BAD assessing. Also, neither one of us kind of knew what to say to each other after a while - I was still babbling about stupid stuff and he just kind of kept saying general things like "thanks for coming out" and "happy new year" over again

the main issue I'm having is that he is naturally very energetic and always acting witty and cracking jokes - and he's just an all around really nice guy... so it's hard to decipher what's "just being nice" and what's... "more".


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What Guys Said 1

  • What I think is that he is assessing you, to see if you like him or not, you mentioned that maybe he is shy/reserved around people he might like, I believe that he is too concerned for your friendship, his reputation, etc to open himself out to you; you have to make the first move.

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    • Ok, so how do I go about doing that? haha I'm terrible at this kinda stuff... do you know of any general "do's" and "don'ts"? I know I will make a complete idiot out of myself if I use the "just do it" method lol

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