Looks vs. personality: what is more important to guys?

honestly which is more important?

i am far from ugly, I get compliments by a wide range of people I think that I'm pretty I'm just not pretty enough. I'm not one of the perfect hot girls but I do have a good personality. do I need to be perfect looking to get a guy to be interested in me or will a guy look past that and still want to get to know me? (I mean guys in general, not the frat boy douche bag type I'm not into them anyway) it just seems like people always say personality matters but it really doesn't. :/ that's just my perspective of it is that true? what do guys really want?

by the way I'm 22. should I date older guys they seem like they are less shallow


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Older guys aren't less shallow IMO, they just know what they want in the shallow senses and to avoid what they don't. So its more likely, if an older guy pays you attention, he thinks your his type (which can seem like less shallow because that parts decided, and it just leaves him finding out who you are).

    In my general experience, all guys are somewhat shallow. However, personality IS important.

    The way I see it is this. Looks need to be there for things to work (I'm not saying a person needs to be perfect but they guy MUST find you attractive enough in the beginning for him to stay, easily). However, looks over time always fade and its the personality which will keep a guy (when I talk about shallow, I am talking about surface stuff, not about people who never go beyond the surface.. so whilst most guys are "shallow" at the level I speak of, not all guys are "universally" shallow).

    So looks are very important, but over time personality wins. However, you still need for the guy to find you attractive (this does not appear to be the case for girls). Some guys work in such a way that they find women attractive as a result of association of personality with a face or look. These are usually guys that have grown up away from shallow influences (so in this modern world, usually people living in third world contries or in strict Christian families lol. or I guess some very rare creature who has tempered themselves).

    Attraction is a complex business, and so many people like such different things. However, the "media" does "twist" all our senses of attraction somewhat (benifiting them).

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What Guys Said 2

  • Personality.

    I like to tell the story of a girl I met in college. She was not overweight, but otherwise she was one of the most physically unattractive girls I've ever known. Her face was pinched, her skin tone was awful (and it was hereditary; her brother had the same problem); I felt sorry for her.

    I ran into her again a year later. I think that during the intervening time she must have had a heart-to-heart with herself, decided that physically she was what she was, and she was just going to make the best of it and go on. She had become outgoing, vivacious - even a tad coquettish. I found myself attracted to her in spite of her physical shortcomings, which had not changed. It was a real eye-opening experience.

    Overall personality is the most important. True I want someone I am attracted to physically but if she has a horrible personality it will mean nothing. Beauty on the inside far outweighs outside beauty.

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D

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  • Personality seems to be more important overall, but if you're ugly many guys won't really see through that. Basically, a super hot girl could get nowhere if she had a horrible personality, a decent girl with a good personality could get somewhere, and an ugly girl, even if she had a great personality, might have some tough luck.

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