Why Do Guys Go For Looks?

You guys always deny the fact that you go for looks and that it's the personality that matters the most. Quit lying guys...you know that looks are more important to you than anything else.

Okay, women do go for money (but that's mostly for women that are heading into their 30's and beyond), but the reason why women want a man that has money/career is because they want to raise their future children in a stable environment. What's reason why men need a woman that looks good?

Hmm...there doesn't seem to be any significant reason for a woman to be attractive neither domestically nor biologically. At least a man can work towards the things that women are attracted to (money, career, physical strength, etc), with hard work these things are also fairly easy to maintain. Women can't change their looks if they're born ugly and there is no special elixir that will keep us young and beautiful

I think it's very unfair for men only date/marry a woman that is physically beautiful (even unattractive men want beautiful women). So why do guys go for looks?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Looks are more important than anything else.

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What Guys Said 63

  • Because we can't help it. It's just how we're programmed. We're evolutionarily designed to seek out the healthiest females in order to produce the healthiest offspring. It's not fair, it's not nice, we don't like it, but we can't fight it.

    I've met a lot of girls who were kind, fun, cool people, but were also not gifted with good looks. From a personality standpoint they were exactly the type of people I'd want to date. But no matter how much I liked them as people, I simply wasn't attracted to them. I could pretend like looks didn't matter and start a relationship but it would be a relationship based upon a lie. Passionate romances require that fundamental attraction, and for guys looks are part of the equation.

    Ask yourself why women always seem to go for the more cocky, "confident" types when there are dozens of "nice guys" who would probably make good boyfriends. As "nice" as those guys are, women need to feel that sense of attraction just as much as guys do. Girls look for different things: wealth, social status, 'alpha male' qualities. These things aren't necessarily any more "fair" and a girl cannot deny them any more than a guy can deny that he values a girl's looks.

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    • Heads up: Not all girls are like that. The ones who are just make a bigger fuss about it hence the stereotype.

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    • Girls have it easier because they get to do the choosing.

    • Totally agree on the2nd and 3rd paragraph :)

  • It's how we evolved. The two strongest biological urges in pretty much any organism are to survive and then to reproduce. For men that means spreading your seed to strong healthy women who will pass these characteristics onto their children helping to insure that your family tree continues. The notion of physical beauty are simply the instinct to seek out these qualities we developed through natural selection.

    Women on the other hand have the ability to get pregnant and back when primitive humans lived in hunter-gatherer societies pregnancy carried a lot of risks. For example it's hard to run from a predator or defend yourself if you're eight months pregnant not to mention there were no doctors or hospitals. Women therefore need a partner who can do this and would stick around afterwards to ensure the survival of her children. Female attraction therefore is much more mental than visual. Women have to get a sense of a man's character, trustworthiness and ability. Money, fast cars big muscles are indicators of this but they don't determine it.

    If you start to put things into this Darwinian perspective suddenly things make a lot more sense and what before seemed random seems more rational. As humans we are still part of nature even if we are highly evolved. And nature isn't fair. And neither is life. But things aren't as bleak as they seem either.

    Consider that:

    a) we generally don't judge other people nearly as harshly as ourselves

    b) There is still a lot of variance in what guys consider attractive. For every girl out there there exist guys that would think of her as beautiful.

    c) There is more to love than looks even for guys. Looks only get you a foot in the door.

    d) There are likely X thousand guys having the same frustrations as you. I was one of them. If I read your question 6 or 7 years ago it would have been a real head trip for me. Even on this site you can find posts by guys who are bitter and think women have it easier. The truth is that either gender has it's benefits and drawbacks and neither has a real biological advantage.

    So yes it is unfair. But so is being short or handicapped or blind but we don't really think about how grateful we are for what we have. Some people get lucky and win the biological lottery and some people have to work a bit harder but that's life. If you take a positive attitude, keep yourself healthy and you put yourself out there and you keep searching you have as good a chance of finding someone perfect for you as they do. That's true for both women and men.

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    • Okay I agree with paragraphs 1-3, and I guess there really are biological reasons for there for guys going for looks over personality and other qualities, but what I don't like is when guys will lie and say that personality is the most important thing. Looks come first then personality. Personality can be sacrificed for looks if the guys only choices are girls that are hot but have an average or bad personality versus a girl that is lacking in the looks department but has everything else going..

    • For her. I also think that we humans don't and shouldn't just go by our instincts and instead of using our brains. Natural Selection doesn't really work on modern humans.

      a.) True

      b.) While that is true, there is a such thing as popular opinion. That's what makes some people ugly and some people beautiful. If one guy considers a girl beautiful that still doesn't make her beautiful. Beauty doesn't include everyone.

      c.) Exactly. Looks comes first then whatever else.

    • D.) I agree with everything except the last part of the last sentence but since it's unrelated to the topic I'll leave it alone.

      Oh and this question isn't about me personally. I'm not interested in being in a romantic relationship and I am not interested in having kids...ever.

  • Why do the majority of women go for tall guys? For protection? From what? A man can't change his height. Some women won't date overweight men, bald men, short men, men outside their race, skinny men, men with long hair, etc. Why?

    Everyone goes for looks, some more than others. It's the only information we have when we first meet someone. We don't know if they're nice, smart, funny, adventurous, lazy, or have a long criminal history. All we know is if we find them attractive or not. But what's behind attraction?

    Physical beauty is attractive to both sexes. However, what one man/woman finds attractive might not do anything for another man/woman. From an evolutionary standpoint, younger, more fit women with wider hips and larger breasts were seen as healthier and more able to bear and raise children. Taller, fit men were seen as healthier and more able to dominate competitors and provide for his mate and children. Of course these physical traits no longer matter when it comes to childbearing and child care, physical domination and resource provision, but a primitive (yet very powerful) part of our brains still responds to these cues with attraction. While we can operate a computer and do complex math, fly planes and create art, our brains (both male and female) haven't totally caught up with the 21st century world. They probably never will.

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  • Most guys figure out that seeking looks over, say, emotional stability, grace, tact, or household skill is a mistake. Obviously, however, you know what we're thinking better than we do, so this is a moot point.

    A woman who chases money independent of character, is a whore. Nothing wrong with that, and I love an honest whore. The key word, though, is "honest". Be who you are, say what you are.

    Domestically, a man might just want to look at pretty woman. He needs no other reason. Moreover, if he's willing, able, and--by your thinking--bound, to pay for the privilege, why shouldn't he? A man who pays dearly to surround himself with ugly women is doubly foolish.

    Biologically, men select indicators of good health and fitness for childbearing--youth, good hair, good teeth, good skin, etc., etc.

    When you say that desiring attractive women is unfair, do you mean to say that ugly women are more entitled to male sexual attraction than pretty women, or more deserving? I'm not sure how to make sense of this.

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    • Okay so maybe some guys figure it out EVENTUALLY, but a lot of guys don't. I was watching a documentary where these single men had life size dolls and treated them like they were really their girlfriends. These men would rather have a cute busty inanimate object to come home to than a living, breathing woman that happens to not exactly be what they were looking for when it comes to looks.

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    • Not defending gold diggers, just playing a little bit of devil's advocate. I'm against gold diggers and guys that are shallow about looks.

    • I repeat: "they can open their wallets and buy good looks, if that's all that matters. Why don't more men do so?"

  • lol, I have never said looks aren't important. I'm not going to lie. But come on, ladies need to admit that you judge us on looks as well. When you are contemplating approaching a girl, you are basing it entirely about looks. I mean were not psychic, I can't look and a girl and go, oh she's a really nice person. but I can look at a girl and say she looks cute.

    BUT. Looks aren't the only thing, I would not date (or continue to date) a girl who is a total bitch, uninteresting or not very worldly the same way as I wouldn't date an overweight chick. I'm not trying to be mean be judging people. That's just not what I am attracted to. I respect my body, eat healthy and spend a lot of time in the gym. A fat girl is unappealling to me not simply because the media says so, but because it is highly unlikely they will go running or rock climbing with me/ understand my passion/obession with the gym, fitness and sports. They would be incompatable with my lifestyle.

    Im actually most attracted to girls other guys find sort of unattractive. Girls who are well toned and in excellent shape and maybe slightly tomboyish are very acttractive to me.

    Final point the most attractive quality for me in any girl is a sense of adventure. If she is up for trying new activities( hiking, kayak, snowboarding, rock climbing, or whatever other ridiculous activities I dream up) then she is instantly attractive to me, regardless if she has an obnoxiously large nose, or small t*ts or a huge forehead or uneven eyes, whatever.

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    • Yes women judge men based on looks as well. I never denied that, but you have to admit that looks are more important (dare I say far more important) to guys than it is to girls.

      Yeah looks aren't the only thing, but it is the most important thing, and that is what I was saying. Fitness level isn't directly connected to beauty, just letting you know. Back in high school I had a gym teacher that was a lesbian (she has a great body even for her age).and she went to school with my mom,

    • And my mom told me about the horrible ways that guys used to treat her (back then she wasn't a lesbian) and I guess she was driven to being a lesbian because guys weren't attracted to her.

      There is a such thing as "butterface" and guys bring it up THE MOST. Have you ever heard a girl say that she would put a paper bag over a guy's face and then have her way with him? Because that is what guys say.

    • You have a point, but what else are we supposed to judge you on? I mean you are looking for a person who can provide a stable safe environment which is why guys deemed "attractive" aren't necessairly good looking, but they are confident, smart and offer a sense of securitys. What traits do guys value? Primarily beauty. That's our culture. Look at Helen of Troy, thousands of people died over a pretty face. Why because her beauty was considered valuable.

  • I'll admit.. Yes, I do notice a girls looks first. That's what makes me want to get to know them. I learned real early on, though, that a pretty face does not always mean a pretty heart. In fact, the opposite is usually true. Yes, a good looking girlfriend is a plus, but not a requirement. I've had several girlfriends who were ugly as sin, but they were smart, funny, knew how to have fun(Yes, that includes the bedroom stuffs), and above all.. They were confident. I've seen way too many pretty girls put themselves down because of how their POS family treats them, and it really makes me want to grab them by the face and scream "What the hell is wrong with you?!" Anyway.. I digress from the point.. Guys go for the better looking girls for one simple reason-Procreation. It's an instinctual drive to seek out the best genetic partner to give you the strongest offspring. Granted, being human being, emotions DO have a big role in the ultimate decision, but the initial spark comes from the animal side we all have.

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    • Haha, I think if you screamed at the females, it'd be terrifyingly hilarious as a third party watching if said third party knew the context in which the scenario was played.

  • You want the truth?

    You can't handle the truth!

    ill tell you why guys go for looks.

    because you can't f*** personality!

    No but really, guys want a girl with looks, that's a fact. Would you wanna date someone, or have sexual relations with someone you found unattractive? NO! Well we don't either. Now amusing a guy is just looking for the next f***, way he's just going to be looking for a hot chick who cares what there like. but when a guy is looking for a next relationship, the "hot" factor isn't all the dominate, there are other things like personality, caring, Fun, ex. depending want depends on what he's looking for.

    -Deathecutioner

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  • Okay stop being ignorant. You can't speak for all guys and you DEFINITELY can't know what guys want. You want the truth? Then I'm going to be real with you. I am attracted to strangers usually by how they look. I take interest in women by how they hold their body when they walk and talk. Once I get to know a woman better, it instantly breaks down to who she is inside. Even if she's incredibly hot, if she is dull or boring or something, I lose interest and don't find her attractive. If she's ugly but the realest person I ever met then she usually makes for a fantastic friend relationship for me. I try to find girls in the median. Someone with decent looks and a great personality. My ex was 2 years younger than me. She wasn't physically the most beautiful girl in the world I can admit that, but I got to know her better than anybody and I fell in love with who she is inside. Whenever I looked at her, I saw the most beautiful girl in the world, physically too, because of how beautiful she was as a person. Even the most beautiful girls around didn't catch my interest because I found her more beautiful than anybody else and she had all my attention. It's like she was so beautiful inside that in my eyes it reflected onto her physical appearance. Guys who go for girls based on looks are extremely shallow and will leave you for the next hottest thing. Physical appearance draws that first spark, that first interest. But after that it quickly boils down to personality for me. I can't speak for all guys, but that's my own feelings on the matter.

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  • Ok, lots of people have added things here that I agree with. The bottom line is I hate a lot of things that guys do.

    For instance saying that we like our women "thick". Just to make other women like them.

    (see? I like fat women so therefore I'm a good person... LIKE ME! please!)

    Or when they are around you they constantly bash people like paris hilton calling her a slut and ugly. But when you leave they tell all their friends how much they would like to f*** her.

    Women bash hot celebrities too, but its not to supplicate to men, its out of bitterness and jealousy.

    Like people said here before, men go for looks because its to propegate the species for healthier offspring.

    They go for youthful healthy indicators. Sometimes we guess wrong about a woman, but women sometimes guess wrong about a man and they get "played" too.

    The bottom line is that women have only a good 20 years before their looks fade and men stop approaching them. WHY? because we are the ones doing the approaching and therefore we are the ones who choose. Women have to wait on the sidelines and hope to be picked out of a lineup. And yes its based off looks. We have no idea who you are as a person, its not like we are mind readers.

    And honestly its about a womans overall value. Looks are the most important, then its personality. But when we make a judgement call about two women that we have known for a while its based off looks+personality.

    Typically its because that woman weve known for a while we have already slept with both. and now we have to make a long term decision based off a commitment. Its easier to stay with a woman whos nice and makes you feel good whos less attractive that a bitch who is hot and never puts out.

    Men like sex.. lets put that out right now.

    We want it and we like it. And that's right looks have nothing to do with how sex feels.

    Good sex is a combination of a couple of things.

    1. Connection.

    2. Technique.

    3. Reaching a goal and overcoming tension.

    Men assume that there is a connection because a woman is hot. Having slept with supermodel women I can tell you that looks doesn't mean good sex. it just doesnt... yeah I was surprised too.

    Good sex trumps looks. It just does. Our biological need to reproduce and sleep with more than one woman. (our horny behavior) is more powerful than our desire to sleep with attractive women.

    If you have a good connection with someone, sex is awesome.

    If you have good sexual techniques then sex is good.

    If you have both then you have perfect awesome sex that is the greatest thing ever.

    That's why having sex with someone you love is so great.

    And its also why when you have a fight with your lover that the sex suffers.

    Somtimes sex can also be #3 which is overcoming something, like finnally getting a woman to give you oral sex and it feels -logically- that she's terrible at it, but it feels good because she's FINALLY doing it.

    So the 3 things for sex have nothing to do with looks.

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    • Lastly, how crappy would it be if men liked women who were ugly? After all, men are the choosers, the selectors of the relationships... eventually 1000 years down the road we would have nothing but male and female quasimotos in the world. And no one wants that.

    • So should I shoot myself in the face now? Lol

  • Your hypothesis has flaws. Severe flaws.

    You insinuate that it's okay for women to go for guys with a lot of money/good career, because it will help bringing up the kids. It is a subconscious thing women do. They can't help it. It's all a part of keeping the human species alive and produce the optimal offspring. It's the same reason that most women want men with a least some muscle, because it's the male's job to protect the family. The things that attract women do so, because the women feels the things can make for a good partner.

    Believe me or not: IT'S THE EXACT SAME THING FOR GUYS!

    You say that guys mostly go for looks. This is both true and false. Let's just take some examples of what is generally considered attractive to men, and the biological reason why:

    Long hair: It's feminine. Thousand of years ago, men benefitted from having short hair, so that it didn't get stuck in trees and branches when hunting. Women didn't need to have short hair, so they let it grow. Long hair can help keeping warm.

    Large breasts: These signal that a woman can feed her baby. Men want their offspring to survive, not starve to death.

    Nice behind: Signals that a woman can give birth to babies with relative ease. The right measurements allows for easier birth.

    Flat stomach: Signals that the woman is healthy. It is not healthy to be extremely skinny or being overweight. Healthy women has a higher chance of survival in the wild.

    Nice teeth, skin and such: More signs that the woman is healthy.

    See? Looks are important because they send out primitive signals as to how good a partner a woman is. And you said there were no biological reasons for guys to go for looks!

    Even though I've made this list, I'm still going to say that personality matters more than looks. It does to me, anyway. Looks are important, but it doesn't make a guy choose an extremely attractive girl over the girl he's in love with.

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    • I never said it was okay. Maybe I did insinuate that it was okay only because men have their preference of beauty over all other qualities. Actually it can be helped. Humans usually don't and shouldn't go by their instinct or natural selection. We are no longer cavemen, so natural selection is for the most part useless and ineffective. When's the last time you've been attracted to a woman because of her pheromones?

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    • Themselves into what the oppite gender wants. You may not realize this, but men don't just go for looks and women don't just go for ability/talent. If that was true, evolution would've ensured that women were all perfectly shaped at this point in history, while men would all be great at what women would like them to be good at. But this is not the case.

      Men can attract women with ability and women can ttract men with looks. But men can also attract women with looks and women can attract men wi

    • With ability too. It works both ways around.

      But yes, men are attracted by looks, because it signals how good a partner the woman is.

      And in return, women are attracted by talentat certain things, because it signals how good a partner the man is.

      So, to a real point: There is so much focus on men being shallow because they want beatiful girls. But why don't anyone criticize women for wanting talented men? Why is noone thinking about the untalented guys instead of just the unattractive girls?

  • When I was a teenager my younger sister had this friend that was pretty. I was attracted to her but she was my sister's friend. Then one day my sister's friend said and did something and it was then I knew I wanted to f*** her. No, it's not always just looks for guys. Personality does win over looks. The saying, 'beauty is only skin deep' is valid.

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  • you say there is no reason biologically. this is untrue really. we like big hips and narrow waist because it means she can easily bear a child, we like big boobs because it has somthing to do with health and feeding your child, long hair becuase again its easy to see how healthy you are by the condition of it, blah blah bah there are millions of reasons like this. of course these perceptions can and are influenced my the media (blonde hair for one) and we all have different tastes but the base of it IS in fact biological

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  • Vision,voice and touch are the basic factors for sexual arouse in men.The very first and basic one is vision,sight or appearance,by which feelings are aroused in most of the men.Not like women,they are motivated by the wealth health and hygene.But men they think that health wealth and hygene can build up as you said but appearance cannot be easily even though possible hardly with plasticsurgery.Sexual actvation first come from eye sight generally, that is why a man is moved with the first sight of a girl of his fancy,moved down by the contrast.As scientists also says that your feelings will not work if your mind is not inspired.This is true only for those men who think that beauty is a factor for their concept and mentality,It always need not be so, as you see not so beautiful girls are dated by beautyful guys,they are attracted by the voice,actions,ormental harmoney and rarely by their talents in traping the guys.Generally guys are attached to beauty,the beauty of body only not the beauty of mind,If attached by the beauty of mind they will never care for external beauty.

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  • Like armyant said, they have to be at least attractive. If they aren't, then there's no incentive to mate (and hence, no children of which you speak).

    An attractive girl goes far beyond how she looks, though. Personality has a lot more to do with whether I'm going to stay with her or not. For example, let's use the "blonde bimbo high school cheerleader". She's physically attractive, outgoing, and easy. Sure, lots of guys sleep with her, but rarely does she get into an actual lasting relationship. Why? She's attractive and easy, so it doesn't take much work to get her in bed with you.

    Contrast this with a girl who is also not smart, also good looking, and doesn't like people. I wouldn't date her if she's known for being the "ice queen" of the school. For one, she's more likely to reject any proposal for a date, so the risk isn't really worth the reward. For two, if she's going to walk around with her nose up in the air, then I have no interest in being seen dating her. Personality has a lot to do with who guys chase. If you seem unapproachable, then you aren't going to be approached, regardless of looks. For proof, look at how many girls are asking "Why won't guys ask me out? I'm not very social, but I'm attractive" lately.

    According to you, the reason women date guys for money is so they can have children. If anything, that's just lazy. Women are more than capable of getting a job, working for money, and then going to a sperm bank for impregnating themselves. Dating someone for money is nothing more than a sign of laziness.

    In short, everybody wants someone at least somewhat attractive. Guys are going to sleep with the hottest, easiest chick they see, but they aren't going to get into a relationship with them or marry them.

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    • I knew someone would bring up the the first point that you made. Touch?

      You said that if a girl seems unapproachable, then she's going to be approached. While that is true, you have to take into consideration that if an approachable girl is unattractive, she's not going to be approached no matter what her personality is.

      I agree, that is lazy, but it is also shallow that guys want an attractive girl. A man can still have intercourse with an unattractive girl and have offspring.

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    • Actually, I'm dating her right now. I know several girls who like me, but I choose to stay with her because I like her intellect and personality.

      Making random assumptions does little to further your point.

    • And you met them after or before you got into a relationship with her?

      Of course many guys may not going to ditch the girl they know well and already in a relationship with over a stranger/acquaintance, but if there are two girls that he doesn't know too well he then is going to go for the most attractive one even if her personality is not as good as the ugly girl.

      Keep in mind that this is about MOST guys not a few that happen to be out of the norm or you. Don't take it so personally.

  • Most women starting with age 12 go only for money, so most of us look at most girls like we do at cars we can't afford to buy...we just discuss their exterior! I tdoesn't mean that's all we care about, just all we usually can access!

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  • I need both looks and personality what's wrong with wanting a hot girlfriend? I'm not going to deny it that would be stupid.

    I cannot and will not admit that looks are most important maybe in a total stranger that's all you have to judge on but after you no someone personality wins out and you are silly if you are trying to deny it.

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  • Looks are for one thing and one thing only: The first impression. When you see somebody across the room who you don't know, looks are the ONLY thing you can tell about them. If their looks aren't attractive to you, then you won't approach them plain and simple.

    Now, if he knew he girl, most guys would put personality before looks. I know I would.

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    • Yeah that's true you can't tell if you like their personlity from across the room. But isn't it that judging somebody?

    • So what if it is? Subconsciously, you judge everyone you meet. How else could you determine whether or not someone is worth trusting, or even knowing?

  • looks are what catch my eye at the start that's the truth with me, then personality comes into play big time for me I can't stand bitchie people, she could be the hottest girl in the world but if her personality is sh*t its a massive turn off ...the reason I go for looks at the start is because she looks fit and healthy things like that (thinking she looks like a healthy girl to raise healthy children) just as you where saying girls look for money for a stable environment...but at the end of the day looks don't last but a good personality does and we can't change what we are attracted too...

    peace,

    smooth;)

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    • Plus did you know that people with stronger genetic codes, and people who are healthier tend to have more semetrical faces, thus making them look more attractive. So it's kindof programmed into everyones brains.

    • Yes, for guys looks come before everything else.

      Thanks for being a man and admitting it.

      Although I will say that looks are deceiving. I've seen overweight girls run a mile with more success than some thin/average girls. It's not easy to determine a person's health level just by looking at them. I was watching a video on youtube about a woman that had aids and was spreading it to hundreds of men. These men thought she was healthy and that's why they had unprotected sex with her.

  • looks are what initially attracts men to women. Personally I DO like women with a good personality, although looks are important too. In order for me to be fully attracted to someone she needs to not only have a personality that I like associating with, but I need to be attracted to her physically. It would be nice to say looks don't matter at all, but if that was the case for everybody, what would be the point of trying to look good when going out? Everyone would just get out of bed looking like hell. Looking good also means you care about your health and how you present yourself to other people

    And thinking you were born ugly isn't going to help you find anyone. If you yourself don't think your attractive, why would anyone else?

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    • Beauty isn't directly connected to health.

      I just had to say that because a lot of people that answered seem to think it is.

      Well...some people really aren't good looking or even average looking. Beauty doesn't include everyone. Some people acknowledge that and (should) focus on the things they do have going for them.

  • Umm.. so if a guy had a decent job and Big muscles you'd marry him even if he was totally FUGLY?

    Looks are important because it's how our minds work. There are many girls out there that I wouldn't even want to have sex with because they are too un-attractive to me. Girls need to be attractive. Being very skinny isn't necessary if you have a pretty enough face. If your face isn't absolutely Gorgeous and you look more on the average side then you need to be my "type" skinny, and short. I do have to say, if your personality is bad then none of these matter at all

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    • Well I don't like big muscles but yes, as long as he's healthy, has a decent job, and treats me good then it doesn't matter.

      I know if the personality is really bad guys won't like it, but what I'm saying is that everything comes second to looks and guys are always giving us girls a false sense of hope by saying that it's the personality that matters most.

      But yeah...sex isn't really a biological or domestic reason for going for looks.

      I appreciate your honest answer though.

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    • Looks don't matter first, attraction does. People can be attracted to anything, so the playing field is open.

    • Standingpretty, though looks aren't the only thing that matters, looks are the strongest part of attraction (for guys). For girls it tends to vary more but the same CAN be true for girls as well.

  • The reason good relationships generaly ride on looks are they are the FIRST thing we see. Not your beautyful soul, clever wit, or playfulness. Your body is a billboard that will make or break a guy's will to make first contact. After that is made then further delving into her personality is possible.

    It's sad to say but men as a whole are simple creatures. We are attracted to slim bodies, ample breats, and a pretty face. We *can* look past it but on a whole it's a major stumbling block.

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  • You are being very very very closed minded. Not all guys go for is looks... is it a plus? Yes. But girls are just as guilty as guys are for going for looks. As far as my own opinion I go for looks sometimes. But a personality I like can take priority over looks. For instance, a girl that is average, but really fun and awesome to talk to and I have a lot in common with will get my attention over the super sexy one who has a bitchy attitude and is snotty...everytime.

    So I don't know about ALL guys out there, but for me an ugly personality can make a hot girl ugly.

    however, looks are definitely an important factor.

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  • Ok you are right that some guys do go for looks and looks only but not every guy is like that. I'm not going to BS you and say that I am one of those guys that don't but I will say (and this is the truth) looks are not the only thing that I view in a potential girlfriend/mate/partner. You could have the looks of a Victoria's Secret model but if you are as stupid as Paris Hilton or Sarah Palin then I will want nothing to do with you. (I don't really care if you disagree with my two examples. Get over it if you do. You don't see me bitching about your opinions.) I would rather have someone who has ambitions and goals for the future rather than someone who just wants to sit on their ass all day and watch TV while I'm the one working (think of Peggy Bundy from Married With Children).

    And women are interested in a guy's money but not "mostly for women that are heading into their 30's and beyond". I get that from girls my age (I'm 22). And most of the girls I know and associate with as friends only talk about how hot this guy is or that guy is or how hot their boyfriend is (mostly when they are talking to other girls). And when you said "even unattractive men want beautiful women" I said the same thing is true for women. Even unattractive women want beautiful men. (Maybe beautiful isn't the right word but you get what I'm saying).

    The reason for why this is the way it is is exactly what Deathecutioner said: "Would you wanna date someone, or have sexual relations with someone you found unattractive? NO! Well we don't either."

    Basically what I have always said is this: Looks are what attract you but its the personality that keeps you there.

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  • Idiocy.

    This whole question is moot based on the fact that your assumption is totally wrong. Guys don't go solely for looks. Maybe there are some, but they are so few in number it's absolutely absurd to draw such a conclusion.

    Furthermore, what in the world made you think people would have a reason for what attracts them? Even if your claim was true, it would be impossible to explain.

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    • Who said guys go SOLELY for looks?

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    • I didn't say SOLELY. I know there are more factors involved but looks always come first. Please read my question properly.

    • Well replace solely with majorly then. It's the same difference.

      Furthermore

      If a guy likes a girl's personality, her looks become much, much more appealing. They say looks are what initially attract people, but it is just as easily retroactive.

  • Everybody wants a partner who's at least tolerably attractive. Yes, that includes women. Ever heard the word "creep"? That's what girls call ugly guys.

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    • Women don't mind "creeps" if they have money and treat her good. Of course they would prefer a good looking man but don't necessarily rule out a less fortunate looking man. I think when women say "creep" it's referring to a man that acts awkward or scary.

    • Ok, stop assuming all women will date a guy just because he has money QA. I and plenty of other women (most, actually) are not looking for money and would take the man who has a great personality over the unattractive man with money anyday. Women who look for money in the first place are not really looking for a relationship, they're looking to become someone's parasite.

    • Standingpretty, I don't think anyone said all or was even referring to all. Also I don't think anyone said most women would go for an unattractive guy with money, but I think we can all agree that most women would go for a guy that is lacking in the looks department but has everything else going for him (ie. is physically fit/strong, have a descent personality, financially stable, and so forth).

  • Because looks are the first thing you see, and personality is the second. I think that sums it up.

    ...also, girls can go for people above a specific height. Now that's something you REALLY cannot change. How fair is THAT? Being materialistic is just as bad and "superficial" as going solely for the surface. And to be honest, I'd say being materialistic is worse - you cannot change that your primary preference is physical appearance, but it does help what you value more - the personality itself or the fact that they can provide you with shelter and living conditions. "I sell my emotions for housing, sex and fun". It reeks of selfishness. It's rational, but just as disgusting.

    Also, there are always people with twisted tastes who will find something obnoxious attractive. Always. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

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  • People that go for someone based on looks (men and women) are shallow. There is much more than looks IMHO and I choose my women accordingly.

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  • both men and women go for looks it's an original attractant but not necessarily one that stays around forever. Looks always fade and a lot of not as good looking women who aren't hot but are just alright make housewives that everyman really wants at some point it's just that raw looks are hard to stop.

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  • bottom line is girls do the same thing, they say personality is important but they go for looks too, like you said also about money, yeah girls go for a guy with money even if it is because of the future, its still unfair because that guy can be a complete bastard towards you and may only use you for sex.

    you girls are always complaining about not finding a perfect guys but the fact is there are plenty of guys out there who can be perfect for you, they may not be as pretty as you hope for or as rich as you want but they will have the sweetest, wonderful personality and will be there for you and will treat you right and will provide for you in the future if you have one.

    we don't always go for looks but don't you complain and say its all us, half the time its you who have the problem finding us

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    • I agree with most of what you said. I agree that girls do go for looks to (I'm sure everyone does), but the difference between men and women is that women WILL pass up looks if the guy has everything else going for him. How many times do you see a hot woman with an average or ugly man versus the amount of times you've seen a hot man with an average. Guys don't ALWAYS go for looks but MOSTLY go for looks. I only wish guys would quit lying.

  • why do girls date guys who are in the marines or athletes? seriously, both guys and girls are equally shallow, but I think you girls have it easier and get away with it more often because you girls get to do the choosing.

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    • Lol that's nott true with some girls. I hate atheltes :/

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    • Yeah but all girls have to do is welcome a guy's advances or deny them, so in a way, girls get to choose more often than we do, like girls have more options.

    • So then both sexes do the choosing. Guys have a lot of options because they can approach whoever they want. Girls have less options (only the guys that come to them) but always have the final say. Besides, that's very traditional; a lot of girls like to approach guys now that it' the 21st century and all.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 27

  • Ok, I disagree with this questions on so many levels.

    One- uh, I've never gone for money. And I know plenty of women for whom money doesn't matter. (Although I guess you conveniently took care of that generalization by saying it's mostly women 30+). And I've known plenty of women for whom LOOKS are much more important than personality.

    Second- don't use biological perspectives. Biologically - the more attractive you are, the more mates you will attract, increasing your chances of offspring and propagating your genes. We are not as instinctual as animals, however, in fact, I would argue we hardly even have instincts as animals (and I am sure many would dispute that, but it's really not the point), so in that sense, the biological argument falls away. But uh, I can't see how asking anyone why "physical beauty" is important is a legitimate question. Aren't you more attracted to hot guys?

    Besides, everyone is initially attracted to someone BECAUSE of looks. You can't be attracted to personality if you don't know the person...

    If a guy is born ugly, there is no elixir for him either. He can have muscles, doesn't mean he'll be good-looking. A girl can go the gym and have a nice figure as well. So if you're defining having a nice body as attractive, then girls can work towards that too.

    Lastly, this is going to sound bad but I've seen plenty of ugly girls with hot guys, or vice versa, or ugly couples, or good-looking couples. Meaning that no, men don't only date/marry physically beautiful women.

    Everyone imagines that the perfect person for them will also be attractive, whether they are a guy or a girl, and whether they themselves are attractive or not.

    So I think you stating that "even unattractive men want beautiful women" is silly.

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    • BA right here on two accounts, best answer and bad ass comment =]

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    • Fair enough. about the women respecting men with money thing. though I'd say it's not about being rich, just about being financially responsible and capable.

    • Also, I did read the entire question and not just the heading, and what I said still stands. there is nothing deeper.

      i do see a lot of people disagreeing. and the guys that just wrote silly things like "it's just in our nature- wink", etc. <--i'm not actually pointing this person out, I'm just giving an example, mostly didn't really care to give a serious answer. people who do are the ones that write at least 3-4 sentences.

  • Girls go 4 looks 2. Once I was with a guy because I was attracted to his kindness and personality but it never lasts. Attraction is key its what brings people together. Some girls are gold diggers but not all of us. Looks aren't everything usually really good looking fellas are all about themselves ... panseys ...so not attractive. I think girls mostly go for good looking funny guys who treat them well and make them laugh they keep it interesting. Plus lets be honest 90% of us women out there aren't natural beauties so we go 4 guys that were level with. So we no wen the masks come off that they still find us attractive and that's another reason y you see really good looking girls with ok guys ... its an illusion.

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  • There is a biological reason why men go for good-looking women: Mens biological goal is to reproduce and produce as many healthy offspring as possible, and what is considered "hot" is actually what is the healthiest. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what is ugly to some people is beautiful to other people. Beauty is a concieved concept and anyone can be beautiful, but it is impossible to be completely ugly to everyone because your body will always match up with someone elses body even if its harder to find. People go for whomever can give them the healithest babies, and looks are an indication to health.

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    • Agreed, except I'd add that this applies to men and women alike, not just men.

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    • Everyone agrees with it.

      Beauty in itself is relative, but in your question you imply guys for looks so unless you're differentiating between hot which is body-wise, and beautiful which would be mostly the face, then you acknowledge there are plenty of beautiful people, otherwise I don't know where all the guys are looking :S

    • People who are young are less likely to have birth defects, even if they are unhealthy. A slightly unhealthy young person can have healthier babies than a older person. What ever seems healthy is attractive, even if there are health problems.

  • from an evolutionary stand point, beauty and attractiveness are indications of youth and good health, aspects that are essential to child bearing and healthy offspring. survival of the fittest? haha.

    that said, guys could easily claim the same thing about girls and looks. as far as I'm concerned it's an absolute over-generalization on both fronts, not everyone is so shallow.

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  • because science has proven time and again that men are visual creatures, that's how their brains are wired, simple, ! men go for looks , women for the financial reliability , its all primitive caveman instincts, exhibit A:-

    caveman: "ugh... I see hot woman (looks at a cavewoman nice rack, gr8 a**, perfect fertility look she gonna have my babies)

    cavewoman:- "ugh.. I see good man, tall, big, has big club in his hand, perfect traits of a hunter, he gonna be my provider, protector and of my kids)

    exhibit B

    fast forward to present day and age,

    guy: 'damn that girls fiinne!

    girl: ' he good, and earns well, stable income,

    now I'm not saying girls are gold diggers and men are pigs but that's just nature so accept it,

    womens generally have a role of being the homerunners, men generally have the role of the providers, although women work too and are equal etc but still the roles they have are the ones they do best

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  • If a guy has a good personality and he takes care of his health, it's a good thing. I am not the prettiest or the ugliest, rather average I think.

    Guys are visual for sure It's hard to find a guy who isn't only into looks.

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  • Because that's the first thing they notice! if they see a girl who's pretty there going to pay attention! then there obviously going to get to know you and see how you really are! plus most times the younger guys want one thing and sadly most the pretty girls give it to them!trust me all my best friends are guys and they've told me all about how they judge a girl! they can't help it its human nature! I know this girl whose not that pretty but when she was little she was friends with all these guys ( no not me lol. I think I'm kinda good looking lol) the guys were not that good looking when they were little but they are now and because they got to know her before they judged her by her looks she has an awesome bf! Whose very cute! like I said the only reason they go for looks first is bcz that's what they notice first!

    Ps. again this is not me I'm talking about lol. trust me my boyfriend just broke up with me he's definitely not awesome! infact this is my friend robbin I'm talking about lol!

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  • This worlds moving too fast to stop and check personality. Its really that simple... But I feel like it happens on both sides. Women do it A LOT. I'm proud to say, that I honestly have no set standards... One minute I find a bald guy attractive, the other time its a guy whos a little chubby... I seriously can say I don't discriminate... long as he has a semi- good looking face...

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  • Ah! Commenting on the threads has exhausted me. I hate threads. Anywhoo, I will just say I guess we are disagreeing / misunderstanding each others' points of views. I will probably not reply any further. Not because I would be ignoring you, but I just don't see the point. Plus, again.. I'm not a fan of the threads...

    Good luck and such with whatever it is :)

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  • It is a biological reason that men look for attractive women based on the same reason women look for men with stable incomes. It is selecting a mate. Men look towards what is attractive on a woman sexually because they conciously or unconciously are looking to mate. Someone who looks healthy and able to produce viable offspring. Attractive people are more looked upon more favorably in our society so men just look for attractive females. Now the definition of attractive is different for different people along ethnic, race, social class and enviromental lines. It is very interesting studies. You should google the topic.

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  • Dude I value the way a guy looks over everything else. Not money. As I see it, there is nothing inherently wrong with judging potential mates by their physical attractiveness. What p*sses me off is when guys make no effort to look good, yet still snub more homely women. It's a double standard.

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  • All of you have some good points but sometimes guys stare at the girl who is beautiful and she may get some guys bold enough to ask her out but from what I have seen and experienced, guys are many times afraid of a really sexy girl. I used to be a swimsuit model and you wouldn't believe how guys really act when no one else is around. You wouldn't believe the insecurity and the jealousy and how many times I have actually been passed up and or dumped by a guy for a girl that was not considered all that attractive or even plain.

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  • Women are the same

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  • Its called natural selection, that is if we are looking at the human race like any other species. But that's not always true cause guys also want to date or mary a woman you can actually have conversation. you'll find the one its ok.

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  • Women are the same. Will you go out with a guy who your completely repulsed to? No, they are not physically or sexually attractive. Would you want to have kids with someone gross to you? Nope, how can you possibly be turned on by that. Not that everything is about sex, but sexual and physical attraction is. important if you are getting married, and planning on having kids.

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  • Guys just don't know how hard it is to look good 24/7...The ugliest guys try going after the prettiest girls and we're nica about it and turn them down. As for a ugly chick. If she approaches a good looking guy, he's a d*** and don't want nothing to do with her. You can be friends with ugly people ya know.

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    • This is so true. Most of the other girls that answered know it's true!

    • I know its true because I see it happen all the time. the fattest ugliest guys think they can have any girl they want and they really think they are good looking! It makes me sick. And the worst part is they try to get in your pants and they keep trying knowing that you aren't attracted to them!

  • Initial attraction is what lures someone, the personality is what holds them.

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  • Quit lying to yourself. Most of the time we go for attractive men too.

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  • so goood question...yes guys..tell me thattt:D

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  • BECAUSE GIRLS DO TOO?

    seriously. stop playing innocent

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    • I'm not innocent and I'm not playing innocent. Of course girls go for looks too lol

    • Yea. this is gonna sound mean but I could never date someone I wasn't physically attracted to.if he's a great guy but not my type (physically) he'll /only) be a really good friend :-/

  • Girls go for looks to its not just the guys and not all girls go for money!

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    • I know girls go for looks too...and I never said all girls go for the moolah.

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    • Well, because if you're asking why guys go for one thing, and girls go for the same thing, then the question really is: Why do "people" go for looks above all else?

    • No because it is more prevalent for men.

  • They're more V-I-S-U-A-L hello ?...:S

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  • i have to disagree...i think women go for looks as much as men do

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  • rich guys go for looks

    beautiful YOUNG girls (under 30) go for rich guys

    older women (over 30) take whoever they can get

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  • I was totally in love with a guy, who was EXTREMELY ATTRACTED TO ME... & THSAT is what made me doubt his feelings for me. IT became VERY important for me to be sure he liked ME.. & He is the kind of guy that likes your personalitY & especially your intelligence , which is the kind of person I like, but the ironic thing is that we fell for each other based on looks & I hate that.

    I neve think about money a guy has, because I do not expect him to give me money , I just do not think about it, I would feel degrading if I did... I do not think guys care as much about looks, a girls who are consumed with LOOKS tend to thing.. It is MOSTLY CONFIDENCE.

    & Because people are pressured with looks & buy into it woman play up to it & men concede but I do not think NATURALLY that that is the most important.

    I think anyone WPORTH being with, likes HEALTH, CONFIDENCE, PERSONALITY, INTELLIGENCE, ABILITY TO BE FLEXIBLE, & LOOKS,

    JUst the fact that different cultures have very different standards of beauty but each culture finds there standards beautiful, is indicative, that it is a LEARNED preference...

    It is sort of charging a small group of men, to be responsible for a whole strategy of marketing & production & social standards... It is much more complicate then some guys liking boobs, & most people of substance, car about all the things that make you real.

    ;-)

    Thee are LOTSOF REAL PEOPLE THAT LIKE REAL PEOPLE, Generally, If you meat people in the context of common interests then that really takes precedence.

    ;-)

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  • It's not just men, women go for looks too... If you are not attracted to someone then you most likely won't approach them (in more than a friendly way), It takes a while to get to know someone "personality" wise, there needs to be some sort of initial attraction. So its not just men, its human nature.

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  • They like it.

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