Looks, Personality, or Money? Dinner Party Disscusion.

This question sparked a huge discussion at our family dinner party last night. After the discussion, we did a silent poll with pen and paper. The question was:

What Characteristics Would Most Influence Your Decision In Choosing A Mate? The options were:

1. Looks


3. Education/Intellect

4. Good Lover

5. Ability to Create Wealth

Twenty six people participated, fifteen women (ages 6-92), and eleven men (ages 14-88). How would you rank the five characteristics? Men how do you think the women ranked the options? Women how do you think the men ranked the options? I’ll post the results of how my family ranked these later on.

Results Men: 1. Looks 2. Charm 3. Good Lover 4. Education/Intellect 5. Ability to Create Wealth.
Results Women: 1. "Ability" to Create Wealth (not how much money he has: "his ability" to not only make money but build "wealth" for his family) 2. Looks 3. Education/Intellect 4. Good Lover 5. Charm
All the men ranked looks #1, only 2 women ranked Ability to Create Wealth #1, The 2 women who didn't rank Ability to Create Wealth at the top wanted good lovers, the 2 dissenters were my 92 y/o grandma and my 6 y/o niece.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm guessing that women overestimate how men view looks and men overestimate how women view wealth.

    • Turn over into under. In my experiment, there was almost 100% argreement on what was important to each gender. Pretty much all the women agreed on a #1; pretty much all the men agreed on a #1. Both #1's were different. The option wasn't how much wealth a man has; the option was his "ability" to create wealth.

    • Show All
    • That kind of surprises me, as most women now have jobs.

    • My fiance voted "Ability to Create Wealth" #1, and she's more successful than I am. Hopefully, I'm not screwed, we're still engaged. It's more about "Ability" to do, and the "Ability" to build future wealth for our children. It's less about the money and more about being a "provider."

What Girls Said 3

  • 1. Charm (if that means a genuinely nice person, as opposed to someone who is socially successful, but horrible underneath that facade)

    2. Education

    3. Good lover

    4. Ability to create wealth

    5. Looks

  • 1. Charm

    2. Good lover

    3. Education/intellect

    4. looks

    5. Ability to create wealth

  • I'm interpreting charm as personality

    My ranking:

    1. Educated (a)

    2. Charm (b)

    3. Looks ( c)

    4. Good lover (d)

    5. Wealth (e)


    b, c, a, d, e


    b, a, e, d, c


What Guys Said 1

  • Like five fingers of hands...I personnel all the factors like looks,Charm.Education/Intellect,Good Lover,Ability to Create Wealth...Needed in the right combination any thing excess or absence lead to unhappy relation and septation of mates.