Latest styles and comfort zones? LADIES? GUYS?

My fiancee is into high fashion. She is gorgeous, only weighs 115, yet she thinks she is chunky.(side note, IM THE ONE BUYING THE OUTFITS, because I love taking her shopping) Anyway, she likes to dress in outfits that she doesn't realize is either see-through,extremely out there, or a little skanky. (the latest fashions are made to show skin!) I know she isn't that sorta girl, but its hard to tell her " baby, you see see ur undies through that skirt" without us getting into a fight because her ex was very controlling. Everyday we are out, she gets LOTS of attention, and its good because she has a low self esteem, but sometimes its a little scary, because if men are breaking their necks and chasing us when we are together...what happens when we aren't? I use to not care, but now that she works in a professional environment that has lots of guys come through, I feel I should tell her what makes me feel comfortable. yet, I'm too sweet and loving to say anything and if I do it comes out wrong, so. I trust her, a lot, but with her low self esteem, and her new trendy styles that show stuff, or is so different she gets lots of attention, how do I approach her without coming off like her ex? he wouldn't even let her wear shorts! And I'm just trying to let her be herself while establishing a comfort zone. Feedback!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Telling her how you feel doesn't make you controlling. Voicing your feelings and opinions is a huge part of relationships; if you can't do that because she takes it the wrong way every time you speak up, it's only going to hurt the relationship. In this situation, it's for her own good that she hears the truth. Getting that kind of attention from guys isn't the way to build her self-esteem. It just encourages her to seek validation from others rather than accepting herself. Also, dressing that way at work is *not* professional.

    You're the one paying for the outfits. If you don't think they're appropriate, don't buy them. If she thinks you're being too controlling, it really is her own fault for not making more sensible fashion choices. You're trying to help her, not hurt her.

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What Girls Said 3

  • just let her know she is showing off a bit of skin and it looks more skanky then professional. If she is mature she can take it otherwise maybe you don't need her.

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  • Tell her how you feel. I mean you're the one paying for the outfits so I don't get how you feel uncomfortable telling her how you feel. Does she walk all over you or something? If she has low self esteem that can be the reason why she feels the need to dress skanky, for attention from other guys to reaffirm her attractiveness. That doesn't necessarily mean she will cheat but it does mean she needs the attention that she is sexy so she will feel beautiful. But you obviously have the right to feel uncomfortable so let her know.

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    • Yes she has very low self esteem. We stopped having sex a few times because she would cry during it because she thinks she is fat. He is Tiny, but has womanly hips. No clue. I think I'm being a whimp about it, I just fear becoming controlling.

  • She's not going to improve her self esteem by guys throwing themselves on her. She needs to improve her confidence in herself by examining herself. It's all about the inside, not the exterior environment. It's all in her head.

    Showing your skin is fine, showing your underwear is not high fashion. Also, if you're the one buying buying the outfits, why don't you buy things that are more appropriate for her? If she doesn't like them, then she can learn to pay for your own clothing.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm a guy and I like to wear boxers and boxer breifs because you can feel relaxation breifs [tighty whities] they aren't confertable because they are so tight against your legs and if you would get a wedgie it hurts more than boxers or boxer breifs

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