The problem lies in the fact that I don't know how ugly I am. I know I'm not pretty enough for a good guy, so I'm stuck thinking am I too ugly for anyone in general? I have other occupations in life: helping others, being a good friend, etc. But when I think of love, which is all the rage among my friends, I burst into tears and think this is not worth it. Life is not worth it when one is so undesirable. I can't help but not want someone who looks like convict or a slob, but not even the average guys approach me. What is a girl, who is kind and intelligent, to do in world where I am considered so expendable.
Most Helpful Guy
Unfortunately this is a fairly selfish, self absorbed society. Especially when you're younger. After the thirties, its not quite so bad. Sometimes things change a little.
Honestly, I'm pretty ugly in the looks department, so I understand a little bit about what you are going through. I'm ugly and a bit depressed. I can't get out on my own, in spite of having traits that should, if life were fair, be all that would be needed to excel. But there's the rub. Life isn't fair.
But, on the other hand, sometimes ugly can be ok. Some of it is relative anyway. If we all looked like Brad (the men) or Angelina (for the women) there'd be good looking guys who are more desirable than others. There'd be different levels of attraction, even if everyone looked good. And yes, it'd be boring.
I think we'd still have a lack of confidence. "Oh, I didn't get the job because that Brad look alike is an inch taller than I am. All the jobs go to those guys. "
And sometimes, ugly actors or dumpy people get the good roles. And sometimes, we play the best villains. Imagine a great looking Wicked witch of the west. Arguably Not as amazing as average looking actress Margaret Hamilton.
And who best to teach others not to be so shallow but us ugly people? We've got the great qualities. And while the better looking ones have more opportunities thrown at them, and they tend to excel, some of them have to wonder if it's because they had the talent, or if it was something superficial like looks. Did they get married because they were good looking? What happens when they age? Will that be enough to keep the other person?
With ugly, you get the good people underneath - sometimes. You get the great potential parents and spouses. The hard workers. The geeks who can change the world. (Imagine if Bill Gates looked like George Clooney. Things wouldn't be the same. ) We don't have to spend three hours in the morning to look our best because everyone demands it. We can get up, wash up, throw on decent clothes and go.
So it has being ugly, if we can use it to our advantage, has it's perks.1