My mom was a beautiful movie star in Singapore. Here is a photo of her.
My dad also looked like a movie star-he was tall and handsome. I'm cute, but not movie star beautiful and relatives have told me that I'm a disappointment. A few relatives have told me that I can't compare to my mom and that it's so unfair how I turned out. I can never measure up and I even feel some shame when I go to family events because deep inside I feel that I am a let down. How do I get over this?
How did your mom and dad treat you? You mention relatives... Wow, how shallow, rude and insulting they are to you. I know that feeling, that is how my dad treated me at times, although not as potently. It is stated as if you lack value because you weren't like them or as good as them.
Read the Bible? Maybe read the Genesis 2-3 section... the foundation of man is what you stated... "Shame". It is a terrible feeling that roots fear and anger. Then read the New Testament... that will help when you realize you have all the value and worth you'll ever need in Gods eyes.
The other approaches, which I'd do all of them, are get proefssional counseling (designation PCC or PCC-S). They can help you process the lies these people are telling you. It helps to have a Christian counselor because the foundation being God loves you is THE solution.
The other one is read a book like Change your life in 7 days. You need to do everything you can to improve your self worth and esteem.
If they continue to insult you, I don't have a problem putting them in their places verbally. Are you ok with that? Have you ever told them how rude and insensitive and hurtful they are to you?
I can relate a little bit to this. My dad was a successful engineer and made lots of money. In my family, that was what made a man: your income and intellect. I went to school for engineering and I hated it. I started feeling like a let down too, and if I couldn't be as great as my father, I wasn't worth much. He expressed disinterest when I changed my major. This was a few years ago and it's only recently that I realized something. All of these opinions my family had on what was important in life (like money or in your case beauty) were different from family to family. It proved that, if everyone valued different things, people really have know way of knowing for sure what is important. The truth is, how you measure yourself is the only measure that matters. Your relatives that say you don't compare to your mom don't know this. They still believe the way it was for them is the way it has to be for you it doesn't mean they don't love you, it just means their love is constrained by ideas that really have no grounds of being universally applicable. If you ever feel that familiar sting of 'not being enough' just remember it's what you do that defines you. Not what you look like and not how you compare to your mother or to anyone else. It's a tough lesson to learn but you are not alone
By not caring. Who the hell tells some one that anyway clearly not people who care about you. The fact is you are you your mother is your mother, she lived her life you live yours. Who cares if your not just like her? Your your own person and you shouldn't be just like her and I doubt your parents (unless their horrible people) feel that way about you. So live your life and stop caring about what a few people think about you.
Well I need to see your pictures to know for sure but you mother was a 10/10 on my rating scale.
That being said... Do you plan to have a career as an actress by any chance? Or a super star in music? Maybe go to Hollywood and hit it big? If your answer is NO then you shouldn't care much about your looks. Also, looks only get you so far into the movie business.
If you think you look cute and your parents looked hot then you are at least a 7/10 and you are well into the 'pretty' category. Any decent guy will definitely consider you girlfriend material. You don't need a lot of looks to have a fabulous life.
Wow that's really rude of them to say. You can't change what DNA you got it's just a lottery. Focus on what you want to do with your life and find something that makes you happy. Just ignore what your relatives say.
Try to focus on yourself. Work on yourself emotionally. Accept your parents for what they are/were. You are responsible for your own life so only you can choose to live in the shadows or not. If you've not seen Rocky Balboa I would strongly recommend you to watch it as it touches on a similar issue.
Ignore them. Don't let them compare you to ANYONE. You were born the way you were for a reason. You're meant to have your looks, and it's up to you to figure out how to rock it. People aren't unattractive - they just don't know how to present themselves. You have to find what works for you, or just learn to love yourself for who you are. Don't listen to them. Their expectations are too high, and that's their fault. They're being selfish.