Wearing heels that make you taller than your man?

My boyfriend is just slightly taller than me so if I wear heels I am taller than him. We have a dressy event coming up and I'm going to wear a dress, so I definitely want to wear heels. Should I ask him if he's ok with this, or say "screw it" and wear heels regardless of how he would feel?
He's never said anything, but I know guys can be sensitive or insecure about this, and one time one of his friends made fun of him for being so much shorter than me (I was wearing platform heels).


Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd be fine with her wearing heels.


Most Helpful Girl

  • In my experience, men rarely have any kind of issue with this. It's almost universally women who have an aversion to being "the taller one".
    In those cases where men DO have an issue, if you dig deep enough, you can usually find the root cause in some time when a taller woman -- either explicitly or through some insinuation -- MADE him feel bad/insecure about it.


    1) Dig inside yr own thoughts. Do YOU have any misgivings about being The Taller One?
    -- If not, great! Rock it, there won't be a problem. Just give even more attention to the boy than usual -- to start associating this all with good things in his head.
    -- If so... watch yrself and yr body language VERY carefully, to make sure this isn't showing and isn't rubbing off on yr interaction with him. If it does, it could poison a lot of future good times.

    2) Rock it, and be an even more upbeat, attentive, and affectionate girlfriend -- to reinforce YOUR confidence, and YOUR comfort with HIM, when you are standing taller.

    3) He probably won't have any issues. If he does... talk to him about it, and, again, be EXTRA affectionate and in awe of him. <3

    I am 3" taller than my husband in mah bare feets, so, you can imagine the height differential when I'm up on mah size 12 platform rigs, lol.
    16+ years together...
    Number of people who've had anything smart to say about it?
    Number of people who've even LOOKED at us weird?

    People know. I'm like a little girl, next to him.


    Finally --
    Boys will make fun of their friends for ANYTHING.
    I swear... The day boys figure out how to make fun of each other for breathing oxygen, they'll start roasting that, too.
    If he's taking it hard... remind him of this. (I have 4 brothers, I know it all too well.)

    • Thinking about it, I don't think I would make such a big deal out of it except I had an ex who was obviously insecure. He would tease me about how short I am (I'm 5'4) and then I wore heels one time and he was like, you have to take those off. You're way too tall.
      I wasn't a confident enough person at the time so I hate that I actually let him control me. But I guess that thought about the height issue stuck with me.

    • Eh. You live, you learn.
      Just take the lesson from that experience, and shrug off the rest of it. You have more self-awareness and more poise now, partially as a result of that shitty experience. (More generally, try to do this with shitty experiences across the board -- make them into learning moments.)

      Like I wrote on sixnineanon's opinion -- If yr relationship becomes long-term, then, you're eventually going to wear heels anyway, right?
      To me at least, it's totally unreasonable to think that you'd stop wearing them LITERALLY FOREVER, because of an "issue" like this.

      So... in other words, this is going to be a situation that arises at some point.
      "Some point" may as well be TODAY.

What Guys Said 5

  • I'm only 5'6, so i can imagine myself in this situation. I'm not exactly sure what he would want, but i can tell you what i would want:

    If she brought it up and asked me if it was "ok", I'd feel pretty emasculated, and worried that she was put off by it. I'd want to ask her not to wear them, but I'd probably end up giving in and telling her i was fine with it.

    I'd much prefer that she just wear it and pretend to not even notice the height difference, and if i brought it up just act completely oblivious and be like "who gives a flying fuck?". Also, don't forget that a few compliments and frequent signs of affection can serve as positive reinforcement.

    • Agree with him here.
      My man is 3 inches taller than me and I am aware of this. So I know what kind of heels to wear to make him feel like the man he is :) Never have I brought it up. I just know what to wear and I care about him enough to not hurt his pride. This is important, ladies.

    • @soulfulone
      That's sweet of you. He's a lucky man 😊

  • Wear heels regardless of how he feels. Why care that he's not taller than you when you wear heels? He shouldn't be upset about that.

    • Says the man who's 6'9" and will likely never met a woman taller than him. Even in heels. 😛

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    • @redeyemindtricks - I know. :P I was just teasing sixnine; he knows it. Or, he should.

      I'm looking to wear my heels Friday and be taller than EVERYONE in my entire office. #tallgirldon'tcare

    • @Smmyskittles yes I knew you were teasing me lol. Yes wear your heels girls! :D

  • Wear your heels my friend

  • It's not like if you ask him and he says no you won't wear them. Just wear em I guess

    • I respect him enough that if he really did have a problem with it, I wouldn't wear them. Even though I wouldn't like it. :) but his feelings (and him, in general) are more important to me.

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    • Heyyyy, haha. Actually my dad is 6'2 and my brother is 6'4 so there is hope.

    • Lol😂 I'm just messing with you, I hope you weren't really getting offended.

  • i like when they make her taller than me, with them on, but she needs to be shorter than me, without them on


What Girls Said 4

  • Ask him or just wear flats or really discreet heels.

    I don't know I can't walk in heels so I never wear them lmao

  • I'd just ask

  • I would ask

  • If that was the case, I wouldn't wear those heels