So what would you do in my position?

yea I know it s gonna be first world problems but still xD
OK so I have this group of friends in my new univ. cool people...
not to sound arrogant though but I have a lot of friends, and a lot that I consider closer.
so this group isn t taking summer like I am and they always wanna do plans with me. it s like I am their main choice now and they don t go unless we re all together.
it s irritating me a lot in the end. they start planning like a week or 2 before what they wanna do.
and if I go out with them on Tuesday then they wanna do smthng on Thursday and then Friday.
after they tell me they wanna do smthng on Sunday. and it s always like that.
and they are really insistent it s annoying and they get upset too.
I mean how can I make them understand in a nice way that I have other plans and friends too.
it s like I am in a relationship with them I swear xD


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You don't have to attend every single one of those events or follow up every invitation. Those calendars can get full if it's a very big group of friends. It'll also tend to help them get excited when you do attend.

    It's like in a relationship -- you don't necessarily want to do *everything* 24/7 with your boyfriend. It helps to balance it out and have your own plans every now and then.

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    • I know it might sound a bit childish as a situation but it s really annoying and they don t take no quite easily. it s silly. like even if I tell them I have a test they d tell me can t you study and come.
      or study there since it s quiet and so on
      you get how persistent they are? :P

    • They probably enjoy your company quite a bit, but there's a "training" process needed there if you want to give off some state of independence. You can just say you made some different plans for that day.

    • okii thanks :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell them to back off And say you've got some plans already!!

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    • I am!
      I tell them I have a test they d be like can t you study and come?
      or study where we re at cs it s quiet lol
      really insisting damn it

    • damn i got friends like that. It's kinda of flattering and annoying at the same time. Just keep on insisting and tell them to go. I mean you can't blow of your plans and accustomize yourself for someone else!

    • exactly! I ve always been a people pleaser which is bad cs I keep dragging myself into things I don t have time nor the patience to do xD
      anw thanks for the advice ^^

What Guys Said 13

  • Just say you've got other plans lol. There is literally no other/better way of doing it and it's better than ghosting.

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    • I am not ghosting. they just get upset when I don t come.
      like they say I am their main choice and they try to make me feel bad etc...
      I say no regardless though

    • Didn't mean you *were* ghosting :P, just saying it's a bad idea.

      I guess if you already say no and they keep pestering there isn't much else you can do... I think if you tell them that you feel really bad about it and ask them to stop asking they might just stop.

    • yea well... maybe haha :P
      thanks anw

  • It's best to say that you have something else planned, they'll soon get used to you not always doing what they want.
    Friendships where everything is mandatory are not the nicest ones...
    Those where you can count on them no matter what and where you have a good time together from time to time, without obligations, are the best :D

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  • Balancing different groups of friends isn't the easiest thing to do sometimes, you just have to politely decline one group of friends to hang with another.

    It's just part of the deal, the older people get the more people understand others being busy and having multiple sets of friends.

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  • Yeah that's why I don't like having a massive amount of friends, it gets hard to balance them all. The best thing you can do is be honest with them but be polite about it.

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  • You can tell some lies like you have ''family issues'' to be dealt with or something :D I know it happend to me aswell, I was always had to find some excuses so whenever they asked me out I always said ''Nah man I need to get my mom and dad from airport'' or ''My cousin will visit me in few days so I must make the house ready for him'' it works believe me ;D

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  • Are they all female friends or are they male ones? I think you need to just do what you need to do to be honest.

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  • Simple answer,

    "Yo Sarah wanna chill?"
    "I'm busy today"
    -You

    Solving first world problems. 😇
    If they don't accept that, Fuck Em really..

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  • Just be like I got other plans bros. 😛

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  • Just tell them to fuck off

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  • first world problems in Lebanon? ;P

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  • you should tell them that i have other friends too and i can't do that all the time

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  • Just break up with them. You're only one human. Don't give up your happiness for others. The people who care about you most will care about your happiness.

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  • Be like I got a life too

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What Girls Said 7

  • Well aren't we miss popular. :P :D

    Sometimes you have to do tough love and tell them they're partying you out and you need a break.

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  • One simple word will solve your problems: No.
    They ask you to hang and you don't want to, just say "no"
    You can even tell a white lie here and there and say you have previous engagements. You could also be honest and say "I feel like were hanging out a little too much." They're your friends the'll understand.
    Trust me, I use to be such a people pleaser, and sometimes I think my life would have been a little less stressful if i just said "no" once in a while.

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    • egh yea I am such a people pleaser and now I am still better than before

  • "nah i got other plans" and tht's all u have to say, then change the subject

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  • Tell them you're busy and then ignore their pouts. They'll live. Stop giving in to their needs.

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  • By just saying that
    "Sorry but I've got plans, I can't join you guys"

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    • I do lol
      they get annoyed and ask why and ask me if I can see them the next day xD

    • I usually "Because I have a life too"
      Maybe bold, but most of my friends are guys, they can handle it xD
      "You guys will manage without me. I'm not always going to be available. I have some catching up to do with some other friends.
      Don't give me the impression that I am in a RELATIONSHIP with my FRIENDS.-. "

  • Tell them you want to chill for some time before going out for events and all that. Tell them you had a tough school year and this is your time to rest but you'll join them out eventually. In sure they'll understand.

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    • *I'm

    • I am even taking summer courses and they re not
      haha
      reason why they have so much time

    • Lol 😄! You see! You even have reasons to not go out.

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