I tried and failed to get her and now I'm feeling awful.

I'm not feeling awful because I asked her out and said no... I'm feeling awful because I asked her out and DIDN'T get a no. In fact, she just chose not to get back to me.

It took me a lot of courage to ask her. I was so nervous, but when the time came I was confident and I felt elated after I did it. She told me her friend might have a party on that day but that she'll let me know.

Nope. Never let me know.

And I don't see her around so it's really easy for her to just let it slide.

Apparently, after all the courage and everything, she didn't care I asked her out.

I think this is the worst feeling ever. If she had just told me no she can't because of her friend's party, I'd have been okay. But I actually thought she was serious that she'd let me know so I waited and waited for her to follow up and never did.

I just know that if I was in her shoes, I'd NEVER do something like this to a girl. I'd NEVER leave them hanging like this with no answer.

I need help and advice for how to cope with this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you suggest another day after she said no, that's the day my friend might have a party? Not saying you should have been pushy but we girls like to be impressed.

    What would make you stand out to me from all the others is if you planned a day and confirmed it was free. "Oh your going to a party that day? All good, sounds like fun. Would you be free on Saturday instead for (whatever your inviting her to do)"...

    By doing this, you are showing alittle bit more interest but not too much because if she couldn't do saturday because of whatever resond, then you could have suggested her call you when she is free. This way you know you made two attempts. If she says no after two attempts then you did what you could.

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    • Regardless of all of this, it's still the fact that she didn't get back to me.

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    • See---I've known this girl for a while, but I haven't spoken to her in months. In the past, when I asked her out, she would do this, and I WOULD pick a date, but she always had an excuse. In fact, I even told her one time to call me when she was free and she didn't.

      For the record, we did go out a couple times.

      Nearly a year later, I thought I'd give it another shot, but this was the first time she never got back to me.

    • *I WOULD pick a different date when she was busy on the first day I proposed

What Girls Said 1

  • If she didn't give you an answer, it's probably a "no." For some reason, some people think that just ignoring someone is a viable rejection. My thought is that she didn't want to go out, but she didn't know how to say "no" nicely, so she made up the party thing and thought that you would realize she didn't want to go out. Stupid, I know, but I know people who do this.

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    • Yeah, I know, you're probably right. But what made me think she was telling the truth is that after she said the party thing, she asked me questions about the place I wanted to take her.

What Guys Said 2

  • I've done this to girls before. One girl told me she was interested right to my face. I said I'd get back to her in a few days.

    The underlying message is: I'm letting her down easy. She should already have figured out that I'm rejecting her because if I was into her, I would have acted differently.

    So you need help and advice to cope with this? Simple. Control your emotions and don't give a f*ck about her rejection. Just move on and look for other girls.

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  • Try calling her?

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    • I think I've given her too many chances already.

    • So by doing NOTHING ... and complaining that you are getting NOTHING ... hmm ... sounds logical, and then you should stop complaining and find a girl who will return your calls.

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