Why do girls always want guys to open up with them, yet when one does, they think "ewww"?

Girls always date a guy and complain "oh I wish he'd be more open... I wish he seemed like he cared." and then another guy comes along, obviously likes her, and is actually willing to open up and be vulnerable with her and she freaks?

for girls so badly wanting to feel loved, they sure have their way of running the opposite direction when it actually shows itself to them (or think of the worst-case scenario)...

Updates:
I'm saying if she ain't in a relationship. I'm not being nasty either lol, just opening up about how I feel. I'm not a guy to hide things. I'm upfront and honest and that's all I know how to be. I don't play retarded games. love isn't fun and games to me

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Most Helpful Guy

  • P.S.: Here are some very good articles on both conversational and physical flirting, which you should practice more:

    link

    link

    link

    link

    You might not feel this is your "style." I understand. You're upfront and honest: STAY that way. But try to think outside the box and be open minded here: flirting IS being upfront and honest about your intentions. You're actually revealing a lot, just in a more effective way. It's not playing HARMFUL or "retarded" games with a girl's emotions, it's a fun game and one that most girls will respond to.

    Please check out the short articles above; no affiliation with the authors, just think they're very helpful articles. Wrote a lot here, but I hope it's helpful!

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    • Well the last time a girl flirted with me, I got hurt real bad... I flirted with her too, she seemed to respond well, only for her to turn around and say she didn't like me like that, when I told her how I felt... then there was like subtle signs in our interactions after that, that she could have been lying about how she felt, so I asked again, still nothing... then again... I give up with her. I don't know what she's trying to do... :(

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    • Or, alternatively, stop focusing on dating for now, if you can help it. Dating is one of those things that, if we think about it and focus on it too much, we'll stress ourselves out and push ourselves to the brink of insanity. Sometimes you need to take a breather. I'm not sure what you want to do though.

    • Yeah I kinda was driving myself insane. lol but yeah anyways I've done my best to stop thinking about it a lot. it'll happen... but it sucks I feel so blinded by this girl because she was literally my dream girl aside from the fact she didn't feel the same. and I feel a little strung along too... I'm doing my best to just forget and block her out. :(

What Girls Said 2

  • The thing is if your opening up to her and she is already in a relationship, even if she complains about the guy not opening up, if she is a loyal girl she won't leave her man for another who is more open. I myself keep trying to get one guy to open up to me. I do get those moments where he opens up to me and I love him more for it. You have to make sure the girl likes you before you start opening up to her and that she isn't actually in a relationship before you do so because she will run the other way.

    There was this one guy who liked me a couple of years ago and I knew it but I wasn't into him. When he told me he thought I was good looking I would just dismiss him. I thought we had a great time as friends. But he wasn't my type of guy. So I guess the answer to your question is that 1st make sure she isn't in a relationship 2nd figure out if she does like you and then if you think she does open up but slowly don't come on to strong or she will run the other way

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    • Let me guess... this guy was nice and totally a great friend, you thought he was a great guy. then you'd turn around a date another guy that you find fault in and knit-pick about his bad habits and complain about him behind his back to your girlfriends and the next great, "unattractive" guy that likes you that you could actually have a much better relationship with, than the attractive idiot...

      things can get better if you just take a chance to love and not lust on first impulse...

    • Actually you are totally wrong. At that time I didn't have a boyfriend. I had actually just gotten out of a really bad one where he cheated on me. This guy was nice. When I say not my type I mean yes I wasn't attracted to him, but I also mean that his personality was coming on way to strong for me and that when he started to tell me he liked me and that he thought I was pretty it felt akward. It didn't feel right because it as a week after I just got out of the bad relationship. Timing is everythin

  • are you mistaking love with being clingy?

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    • No... I'm a good guy, but I ain't clingy. I can love better than any bad guy could... :/

    • I only suggest that because of my own experiences being clingy. :<

What Guys Said 3

  • Is this a question or you venting? Because there is a such thing as coming on too strong.

    Have you ever seen the T.V. show How I Met Your Mother? There is an episode where the main character on that show tells a girl he loves her after the first date. Girls want to hear it but they don't want to be creeped out by a guy with more emotions then a soap opera.

    Give it time and make the girl work for it a little. She has to want it before you give it to her.

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    • Well I definitely wait to see if there's a chance she could like me back and if there is. I open up about how I feel. and yes its very scary and emotional, but that's love.

    • You have it all wrong and do not understand how women and the relationship process works. You never show your entire hand and you bluff when you aren't winning. No matter how long you have been in that relationship there are some cards you keep to yourself because Love is War and there will be casualties.

  • Try being a little bit of both. Share a little bit of yourself at a time, then hold back some and be more "fun and flirty." If you find yourself doing too much of either, try to practice improving at the one you're not as good at. The right girl will appreciate the fact that you're able to strike that balance and will be attracted to you for that. Best of luck.

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    • I can do it... but flirting isn't my strong point. it takes some time for me to be myself.

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    • Level.

      Keep in mind, she wants to peel apart your layers like an onion. She will eventually get to the core, which by that time should have developed into a MATURE love for her, but until then, let her enjoy the process of peeling those layers of your personality apart. The slower "get-to-know-you" process, mixed in with a little playful teasing and flirting, is GOOD, not bad.

      Part of your flirting can be holding back parts of your personality. For example, you can accuse her of being...

    • Too "nosey", and ask her, "What, are you an interrogator for the federal government or something?" in a playful tone. Girls might complain that guys don't open up enough, but the reality is, they enjoy a little "chase" and a little mystery. That's important for them...don't give them everything they want in one shot.

      So, try it. Strike that balance. Open up to her, BUT do it a little bit at a time, and have a relaxed, laid back, and fun attitude around her. Best of luck.

  • For one, in your example the girl is already in a relationship. Second, if she's thinking "ewww" I'd have to question just what you're being open about...

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