Listen to your head or heart?!

I am so sick of feeling the way I've been feeling! I was with this guy for 3 years (which was by far the longest relationship I've been in) and it's been 8 months since we "officially" broke up but we had sex about 4 months ago. We had a very complicated relationship towards the end and I had decided that things he had done to hurt me, I just couldn't forget about & ended it. The problem is my heart still tells me everyday that I still love this guy and miss his company dearly! Because when things were good with us, they were really GOOD and he was my best friend that I could talk to about anything! On the other hand, my mind tells me that things ended for a reason and I doubt things would ever be different. This is tricky, listen to Ur mind or heart?!?! And why can't I stop thinking about this guy and always think of the good he brought to my life and not the bad?!


Most Helpful Guy


    you need to FORGIVE him for what happened...ONLY if he has proven to you that he wants to be with you and will always be there for both probably have some trust issues that you'll need to overcome...but look forgiving someone isn't saying ok I forgive you and then continually bringing up the also need to understand that people DO are continually living in the past with this guy, start living int he present and see what he really has to offer NOW instead of what he had to offer THEN...dont plan anything out, just go with the flow...sure bad memories are going to come up now and then but youve got to remember that you LOVE HIM and that the good times overweigh the bad need to WORK at your relationship...if people worked at their relationships as hard as they did their job there would be a lot less of a divorse rate in this country...

    sure it will take time for you to forget the past, but you need to let him give you the opportunity to forget those memories and replace them with everlasting good need ot sit down and THINK why the relationship ended, every couple has its ups and downs, but youve got to work TOGETHER to get thru them...some times will be a lot harder than others but you'll get thru it if you both are in love...

    basically what mi trying to say is that you're mind is trying to protect you, you don't want to go thru what you did for the past 3 years and end up in this situation again...youre scared and that's ok...

    youre heart is telling you what it wants, what it should listen to it...soemtimes we have to make sacrafises to get what we want and need...i wouldn't give in right away you say ur minds telling you it happened for a reason, maybe the reason is for you to both figure out yoruselved and become more mature and think before you decide to say or act on anything...maybe this break up is what you needed for you both to realize wha tyou actually mean to one another...just because something ended doesn't mean it can't spark up again...but you MUSt take it was the turtle who won the race, NOT the rabbit...see what I'm saying?

    dont assume things anymore, don't think oh well he's going to be the same because you both are probably a little bit different since you separated, just take some time and really analyze the situation, don't over analyze tho...just take your time and go with how you feel...

    • So my next question is, he hasn't contacted me in over a month and before this we had kept in touch since we broke up. Do you think he has given up hope on trying to work things out with us and has moved on?! A part of me wants to hear for a fact he has moved on if he has because that would make me know that since he doesn't feel the same as me then it's probably a sign that I cared more about this realtionship working out than he did and has just moved on to the next bitch! what do you think?

    • Talk to him, why don't you contact him? see what's up...a simple hello how have you been would be you see you're not listening to said did he move on to the next bitch? that's what will get you in trouble...assuming...and again you're overy analyzing the situation,..maybe he feels youve given up and he's trying to move on for his own guys should communicate together and try to understand what's going on, when you talk it doesn't always have to be about you guys either


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What Guys Said 3

  • If you can't stop thinking about him, then you should probably get back with him. You didn't say why exactly things ended in the first place, but it couldn't have been that bad. Otherwise you wouldn't still have any feelings for him. Maybe you should talk to him about how you are feeling, and if he feels the same way about you, give it another chance.

  • Honestly I think you miss him now... after a while the same dirt you guys had is going to be brought up again.

    Sad bad true

  • i going through something similar. We dated 3 and 1/2 years and things were really good when they were good. She hooked up with another guy (just kissed) becuase I was away from her for so long. I had done the same with another girl but I had trust issues with her since then and things just got complicated near the end.

    I know for a fact that her head is telling her to go be single and have fun and meet new people because were all only young once. Then again her heart is telling her that I am her best friend and we are so comfortable with each other its like we can read each others minds. I saw her about a week ago and I could see in her eyes her love for me but she is listening to her head right now for other reasons. I have only been broken up for about a month and a half now but I know she thinks about me daily and I do too. I have completely forgiven her for the things she has done in the past and I really just want her back but I know I will have to wait a few months, probably at least 6 to even think about a relationship with her just so she can go through this process.

    So really, I say you have to listen to both your head and heart. You have to be able to forgive him for whatever he has done in the past in order for your next possible relationship to even have a chance. Your not ready for that even though you still love him because you can tell your still thinking about his faults. Just give it more time to heal from his mistakes and try to figure out what lead him to making those decisions, maybe or maybe not something you did? on yourself some more and I feel like once your over the bad stuff and can soley think positive than you can try to get back with him.


What Girls Said 1

  • it seems like you broke up without even trying to make up things. Use your head and follow your


    If you heart tells you to go back with him maybe you should give it another try. Otherwise you will always wondering: what if I had been back with him? Maybe we'll still be together now..