me and my husband just got married 2 weeks ago and ever since we have gotten married he is forever staring at other girls. i ask him 2 stop and he wont i told him that it really hurts me when he looks at them and he don't care! its to the point that i cry about it cause every time we go out he wont hold my hand or kiss me no nothing he just looks at other girls and treats me like I'm a friend!
this happened to one of my friends except her ex did this after they got engaged and she moved in with him. he was really sweet did everything a great guy would, the very second that engagement ring went on her finger he started being an ass. she went as far as to have his coffee ready when he got home from work, and when he left for work. did all the dishes, and all he did was slouch around with his friends. and if she was sick and couldn't do the dishes he would bitch. she still wouldn't do it. she came back up to my hometown (michigan) for family during christmas, on christmas he broke up with her and told her to come down and get her sh*t. He lived in georgia. Now I don't think your man has hit that bad, but its something to watch out for. he needs to treat you like a wife. whether it is at home or out in public. to me, it seems like he is trying to act like you are just a friend because he wants to appear available. if he doesn't work in a place where he needs to remove his ring. then check if his ring is on. if its not, then you should really sit him down and have a serious talk.
You know, some men go thorugh a period afer marriage where they regret having their 'freedom' with women. Talk to him about this, tell him he has to get over that, it embarrasses you...Most likely this is just a stage he is going through...
"My darling husband (you may alter this to your own preferences btw), I understand as a man that marriage is a huge commitment to you and the fact you went through with it, shows how much you care about me, and I am thankful. I love you.
I also understand as a man you will always look at other women and find other women attractive, and that this has no bearing on your commitment and affection for me.
However, my ever so loving husband...sometimes I feel a little sad that you don't hold my hand in public, and I feel that though this is not your intention, a little neglected in public.
I know that this is not your intention for you have married me and all the times we have together are special and I am happy with it, but in this one area I would like it if you could alter your behaviour, such as holding my hand a little more?"
I dunno, I ain't you, this ain't my problem but as usual the best advice is COMMUNICATE.
We are animals by nature just like any living creature on this earth. We have our attractions, distractions and whatnot. You cannot blame him for a natural interest that every man and women share.
I would talk to him about the kissing and holding hands situation. Is it only in public? Perhaps he has an issue about public display of affection. Do not start the subject as if confronting him, start it on a level playing field.
I notice that most of the womens answers are saying its the guys fault and the mens answers are saying don't worry about it. Truth is, if he knows it hurts you, he shouldnt do it. The reason why guys do this is just because we are visually programed, whereas women are more verbally cued into things.
Honestly, why does it matter if he is looking? He married you, he (most likely) sleeps with you, he chose to be with you. If he looks, it isn't a big deal. It doesn't mean anything unless you start to think he is acting on this behavior.
On to the second matter, not holding your hand or kissing you. If he had shown these sorts of traits before you were married, shame on you for marrying him. If he is doing this just now, shame on him for being unkind and uncaring.
if he had respect for your feelings he wouldn't make it obvious he's ogling other women in your presence. if he has ubruptly stopped all displays of affection id be worried he's not dealing well with the idea of marriage. you freaking out over it, crying, will only make it worse. does he have any married guy friends he can hang out with to help him find his place in this new life? handle it delicately but don't be a doormat either. if he doesn't start making progress and start considering your feelings, you guys are in for some real trouble because you can't just let him walk all over you.
Sorry to hear that, marriage is special and he really really shouldn't be acting that way, that's just not respectful to you at all and you know that, I mean he makes you cry. Make it absolutely clear to him of how wrong that is and seek counseling if he doesn't want to change. Much luck to you, take care.
My mom's boyfriend of five years does that exact same thing. Unless you talk about it with him, it's not going to change. Why do they do it? Because men are idiots. =)
Did he just start acting like this? Has he exhibited asshole traits in the past? I think you should give him a dose of his own medicine. If he won't act right, don't sit around crying over him. Get glammed up and pretty, be confident and go out with your friends. Go dancing, go do different things without him. Don't depend on him to make you feel good if he's gonna act like an ass.