What is wrong with "settling"?

why do many people look down upon settling for someone even though you are not totally attracted to them? after all we are all human beings and we have do have imperfections, is it really wise to go on hunting for "the perfect one"? there is surely something or the other in everyone that needs to be improved or does not meet the mark, be it looks, body, personality, energy, etc, and we also never know what others think they have to "settle for" when it comes to us


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Most Helpful Guy

  • To me "settling" means you don't think you can do any better than your current significant other so you accept them into your life, despite that person not living up to your expectations of what you want in a partner.

    In my opinion settling is the worst thing you can do for your long-term happiness when it comes to relationships. Plus it says a lot about your self esteem and inner worth. Nobody is perfect, but settling for someone less than your ideal is a grave mistake as you'll never be happy with that person as you could have been if you stuck it out and found Mr or Mrs Right.

    That leads me to my next point: most relationships happen by accident. When was the last time you proactively went out and got the person you wanted? Most people end up in relationships with those they meet through work, school, or friends and rarely go out and find Mr/Mrs Right. That's a damn shame in my book.

    One thing you need to watch out for is backwards rationalizing the person you're with is a better match for you than they really are because you're already in a relationship with them. Be true to yourself and be honest. It will pay dividends in the future when you're not regretting the marriage and 10 years you've spent with someone that doesn't make you happy or fulfill your needs.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Settling, or settle for someone means that they aren't exactly what you wanted but you will take them for what they are.

    I am in a relationship now, and feel great, and have never had the "settling" feeling. Previously, I was talking to someone, and felt like, "well I guess this is good and ok, but not exactly what I wanted." And truly wasnt happy.

    No one is perfect, but "settling" implies they are not what you are looking for, and what happens if that person does come along? Do you just end the "settled" relationship?

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  • its not a question of settling or not settling. You should have to work to make a relationship work. Love is the will to work. Find the person you want to make happy the most, not the person that makes you the happiest. The real battle is making sure that they want- more than anything else- to make you happy.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Obviously nobody is going to be "perfect" but when I think of "settling" I don't think of it as choosing someone who is not perfect. I think of it as choosing to accept someone that is not good enough for you. Accepting mediocrity where one should strive for greatness. I'm not talking about the way a person looks or acts even. I'm just talking about love and happiness. No relationship is going to be perfect but if you aren't blissfully happy then to me it's not love. Plenty of people marry or enter into long term relationships for reasons other than love. And if that's what you want and it makes you happy, then that's ok. But if you "settle" for less because you think this is the best that you can do. then that's just sad.

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  • People look down on people when they "settle" because they feel like that person deserves someone better than that. You remind me of this saying, WE ACCEPT THE LOVE WE THINK WE DESERVE. If this person is not making you absolutely happy, do you want to spend your life with them? I've always been the type who would rather be on my own then with someone who wasn't my soul-mate. But if this guy makes you happy, spend time with him. get to know him. you don't ever HAVE to get married, and you shouldn't! Be free, explore new people. you don't need a man to make you complete, seriously. And if by chance you do meet a guy who's worthy of your love, maybe you'll let him into your life :) And maybe this guy you're talking about will lead you to a guy who really IS more fit to your interests.

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  • I say you should never settle. There is the perfect person out there for everyone. For everyone that you find unattractive for whatever reason there is someone else that finds that person perfect.

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    • Is it really true that there is one "perfect person" existing for everybody and everybody is also "destined to meet their soulmate"? as far as my observation goes, people can be ranked according to their "romantic quotient" and every body seeks to have a partner/ spoue who has a higher "romantic quotient" than themselves, so it means, either you settle, or ur partner settles?

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