Eye candy or not enough?

First of all, I know I am an attractive, fun, an outgoing person, and that my boyfriend loves me however there is one thing I find it annoying, and happen to feel that I am not good enough for him when there is another attractive woman walk by us, or some posters of supermodels in bikini, or when the scene on the shows happens to be a woman in nude or makes hot moves, I notice his eyes locked on those, and I knew he likes what he sees. Why I find it annoying? Because I am not in a full curved body but slim with some good parts on me and I am not even measured up to those perfect bod women.

So, is it just an eye candy or he wishes that I look like one of those?

And what's funny was when I was dating some guys in the past, they usual shared their thoughts about women and it never bothered me til with this current boyfriend I am with, and his opinion counts and it hurts sometimes. Not that he says out of respect but friendly comment like "she looks nice" or "I like how she dances, can you do that?" Or "wow, she looks hot in those lingerie" (on the show). Something like that.

I would be appreciated to hear any feedback.

Thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • its human nature to be attracted to multiple people. I mean honestly you have never ever since you have been with your boyfriend seen another guy that you find attractive? maybe you didn't announce it like he does but you have found other people hott. You don't want to get with that person or you don't wish your man looked like that person but you found them attractive.

    it is also human nature to get a little jealous when your significant other looks in another direction. you shouldnt take it personally or feel bad when he looks. Just know that he is with you and he is happy. if he wanted the other person, model, or whatever bad enough he would leave you to go get them. I look at other women all the time but I still find my wife the most beautiful woman on earth. not just because of looks, I mean there are prettier women out there than her, but because of her personality and love for me. So get over it, he is going to look. so will you but you have something with him that no other woman can give him. And that is what makes all the difference. You aren't the prettiest woman on earth, but I'm sure you are beautiful. as long as you have confidence in that you will stay beautiful to him. the biggest turn off in the world for both male and female in insecurity. hope I shed some light for you. be cool.

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    • That's true.

      We all find someone attractive and it is normal to have a look, but guys seem to reeeeally look.

      I mean, we don't turn our heads over the guy.

      So its not really the same.

    • True. and this is not an excuse but that is just how guys are. we are by nature very blunt creatures. that's not an excuse for not taking a girlfriend or wifes feelings in consideration but its true. I'm very open with my wife and tell her in a girl is pretty and in return she lets me know if she finds a guys attractive. doesn't hurt my feelings, I usually agree. people just need to be more open minded and not so insecure. if you are secure with yourself this doesn't bother you.

    • Thanks everyone for the feedbacks. I know that I am pretty even sexy as he always called me, but its my first time feeling insecure which I disliked it. I usually had ful confidence. Anyway, I guess I love him more than any other exes I had and I care enough about how he thinks of other women however his love for me is more important than anything else.

      Thanks again.

What Guys Said 8

  • No, this SHOULD bother you. He shouldn't be staring at pictures of women when he's with you and making any sort of comments!

    And with real women, he should keep his opinons of them to himself when he's with you. It's just not polite unless you or someone else brings the other woman up in a chat or something like that.

    Slap him if he doesn't stop that!

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  • This is a stab in the dark, but does your boyfriend look at p*rn? It might be that it is causing him to think that you aren't as attractive as them (it could also explain why he is so fixated on those images). Rather than wishing you look like them per se, he could think that you aren't as hot.

    That said, don't be discouraged or feel bad about your body because he oggles women in movies and pictures. most of the women in either are probably air brushed anyways...

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  • I'd say looking is ok, all men look. But the commenting part is going a little too far. There are classier ways to indicate attraction.

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    • Yeah, I have to agree... There are better ways. I don't know if I could stand to listen to my boyfriend comment on another woman. I did find him checking a woman out but in his defense her dress almost flew up because of the wind. She was attractive, however I think if her skirt wasn't about to go over her head... he might not have looked. I even had to look, just to see if it was going to happen. You should tell him about how you feel when he comments on other girls. That's your best bet.

  • If you know he loves you this shouldn't be a problem, but I realize how insecure girls are

    because of the media. It is instinct that he has been doing since he has 12 years old (to check

    out girls that is), he is programmed to look.

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  • You sound like you have God complex and body dysmorphic disorder o-o

    Now to answer your question , well your best answer has it all he's right

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  • I feel he is fantasizing and it means nothing. You will have a perfect body after you have children. Think about all that you have to look forward to. You will be that woman.

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  • listen I like blondes because their bright. men are capable of extremely complex thought however we are easlily distracted. it like watching the wreck scene on the side of the road

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  • Guys are visual, we like to look, if he was really into you he wouldn't do that at least in front of you or make those comments, reasonable guy would understand how inscure girls are about their bodies...dont really need any more pressure...

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What Girls Said 10

  • Guys naturally check out tons of women, not necessarily because they think their "hot" or anything they could just be looking at some girl because they like a shirt she has on, or something really minimal. They could be looking in her general direction and not at her either. There's too reasons this bothers you:!. Because you are insecure with how you are and you maybe "ok" with your body but your not totally happy with it because you keep comparing yourself with these "perfect" women. You need to stop comparing yourself with these women and remember that your boyfriend is with YOU and wants you. If he wanted another woman, he wouldn't be with you right now. 2. Secondly, you really love your boyfriend and you're scared of losing him. You want to feel like the only attractive girl in his eyes. You may not be the only attractive girl to him, but you re the one he chose and he chose you for who you are on the inside.

    There's more than looks when it comes to attraction. You are the girl he's with so he wants you remember that. Hope this helped!

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  • sounds disrespectful of he compares anything about you, I guess, but that's your decision, your opinion is the only one that counts a far as your respect goes :)

    it doesn't really matte wether its eye candy to him or not, you need to feel comfortable with yourself, do whatever will give you more confidence, take flamenco dancing, fencing or tai kwon do or something..

    just build a part of yo you did not realize you had & don't stress over his eccentricities- you can't change them , & you should not try, however if he talks toYOU I a way you do not like - by all means tell him... but don't WORRY, either he reallllllllly likes you, or he doesn't ...time will tell.

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  • my boy friend does the same thang and even says he wishes I looked better.. might not be the case but it hurts me because I do have curves but I'm fit although I have two kids and could never messure up to those girls. talk to him he will tell you. if he says he loves how you look how you are great then I don't see the problem.

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  • Just eye candy. It's a reflex. You mean to tell me you don't notice a hot guy? Men just aren't as inconspicuous as girls when they look.

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  • just understand that men are moved by what they see.but that doesn't mean that the attraction and connection he feels for you is gonna die if you continue being who you are.note however that you don't have to be anything you are not to please him because he is going to see that from a different view and then dump you.just be you.if he loves you he will stick with you no matter what he sees out there

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  • Have you mentioned it to him? I'm sure if he knew little comments like that bothered you, he'd try to stop. If not, and he doesn't care about your feelings, then he loses credibility.

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  • your enough they are just eye candy because all guys do that so its normal

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  • Whilst I think it's natural to admire the beauty of others whilst in a relationship, he shouldn't really make comments like that. But I think he is just trying to be open with you...which I think is healthy, in some weird way! Next time, just agree with him.I know it sounds stupid, but if you see one of those beautiful women on a poster you could say "Ah, she is hot!" and you can share the admiration. Careful he doesn't start asking if you are interested in threesomes though! :p I doubt he will. At the end of the day, just remember that he is with you for a reason, and him admiring others is just a natural man thing to do! Don't worry!. With my guy, we talk about hot men and women. I am always like "If I was gay, I would so do Gwen Stefani". Which is true, she's hot! And I don't care about him saying about famous people being hot. He's never gonna be with Alicia Keys, for example! If it was someone we both knew, then I would be worried. So, appreciate the beauty with him!

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  • Ask him not to make comments about other women in front of you because it bothers you.

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  • You cannot compete with all the women in the world. Guys are naturally programmed to check other women out. They are not trying to get with them, they notice them in a purely objective way. In other words, it's like looking at any object, like a car, or anything else of interest. They notice but they move on. Not sure why you are feeling funny with him and not with guys in the past. You should think about that more.

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