I've moved away from home so I don't have any family or close friends nearby to comfort or listen to me go all emotional, so I guess I'm just after a sounding board.
Anyway, I broke up with my (ex)boyfriend of 16months at the beginning of the year but we've been seeing each other regularly since then.. as in once or twice a week we might go out for breakfast or ice cream or he'd come over and we'd cuddle, kiss etc Truth is, I didn't want us to break up and it seemed he didn't really either and so I've been doing everything I can over the past 6 months to show him how much I genuinely care about him and that it would be worth getting back together.
But it's been so long and he's never shown any reciprocating interest/effort, so I finally told him I couldn't take waiting for him anymore. And he was so calm and blase when I told him this and said he hoped we'd still be friends and that he's sorry for causing me unnecessary grief. It was just so upsetting, I guess I'd hoped that he would say something else... And now I'm an emotional wreck and I don't know what to do or how to proceed. And I just cared about him so damn much, it kind of feels like I've failed at something... any words of comfort of advice?
Most Helpful Guy
Contact needs to be cut asap! First and foremost. It'll be painful, so fill your schedule up with things that just do not allow for you to think about much else but what you are doing. Secondly, it is NOT your fault. Is not. You loved him I assumed, and you lived your life to the best you could and he just wasn't in the same place. Nothing you can do will ever FORCE someone to feel something they just don't feel. So do your best to convince yourself that you are not at fault or a failure at something.
You shouldn't try to avoid these painful feelings. Actively avoiding them keeps them in your mind because you're thinking to yourself that you have to avoid them, and it keeps it in your head. What you should do is spoil yourself for a little bit. Sit on that couch, grab that ice cream or pizza or whatever, and just enjoy some feel good tv or movies. But of course don't neglect your health too much, get some exercise too!
You may not feel like you want anyone else but him, but you deserve someone who feels the same way about you as the way you feel about them. To want someone who doesn't want you back will only make you unhappy later on.
This all seems like it's sort of cliche these days, but I'm learning more and more that it's so true. Time + distractions + learning to be happy with yourself, if you focus on yourself and things you enjoy, before you know it that new special someone will suddenly appear in your life and you will be in a great place to start anew with him.
Your ex may have felt like one in a million, but that just means there are 100's more out there just waiting for you in the country.2