Why is a man so unattractive when he shares his feelings?

I recently ended a 9 month on/off relationship. We split a second time and this time it's permanent.

The first time I was pretty open with everybody about the pain I was going through. I felt screwed over. I had trouble eating and I lost a lot of weight. I looked for advice EVERYWHERE.

In retrospect I must of appeared very weak. However I started dating the girl again and when split it off permanently this time.

I'm not as down as I was earlier but I feel compelled to shut my lid and be tough. My closest friends/relatives now, but other than that I'm not publicizing this hardship.

However whenever a woman break ups (when she doesn't initiate it) she seems to let EVERYBODY know about it and that's just fine. It doesn't make her less attractive.

Be honest ladies. Men who are open about their hardships in romance are not as attractive huh?

I'm proud that I've been a tough guy this time.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Men typically are looked at to keep their feelings in check, you know, be the "strong one". However, some people don't realize that a guy takes a break up just as hard if not harder because while a girl will talk about it, a guy typically bottles it up. A woman who wants to get into a meaningful relationship should look for a guy who is open about his feelings, and is able to communicate. Besides that, men who talk about their hardships in relationships (and I've heard many accounts), are not any less attractive to me,...it just makes them human like we all are. However, there comes a time after the break up that you really do need to suck it up, be tough, and move on...and that goes for both sexes in my opinion. Anyway, I like a guy who is able to talk about that...it makes them more relatable.

    • Well I find myself spending a lot of time ventilating my problems safely (like right here).

      This break up wasn't as bad as the one earlier. At least we sat down and talked it out this time. I don't know but I got to admit it rattled my ego a bit. I would like a serious relationship but I find myself going back to being a scumbag.


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What Girls Said 2

  • It doesn't make a guy necessarily unattractive, I find it actually kinda hot when a guys once in a while. However it gets unattractive when you do it all time, when keep crying and complaining for weeks or even months.

    Men are always looked at to be strong and protective and to be honest most girl would always prefer the stronger guy. So yes, if you tell everybody about your hardships it can easily come over weak, but if you just tell your good friends/family its actually a good thing because very few men I've ever met can talk about their feelings like that.

  • i would much rather have a guy speak on how he feels instead of acting like he's fine and trys getting with the next thing that walks by...well I don't find it unattractive I find it attractive


What Guys Said 2

  • The key is to let people know you HAVE feelings, and have been hurt, and maybe explain some of it and then seek their advice to get them to feel like they have participated, and then you need to find new people to vent to. People love to give advice and know that you have feelings just like them, but too much will annoy and frustrate them. The internet is a godsend for venting safely like you have found out.

    A guy who shows that he feels pain, has feelings and emotions and is human, but also shows that he can process the pain properly, heal and become stronger for it is the kind of guy a woman is attracted to. Bottling it up and showing nothing will get you no where but hurt, but on the flip side letting it always out and never making obvious steps to healing and just complaining all the time will turn the girls off. There's a very fine line you have to walk as a guy in order to remain attractive to women(generally speaking. women, like men, differ from case to case). It's a tough one sadly :(

  • good going for showing yur feelings out there. not many guys can do that. its not common to see a guy throw his heart out on a sleeve and let everyone know how he feels. but everyone has their way of coping, so don't adjust just to look "tough". if speaking yur feelings is how you cope, then do it. yur friends will listen. girls cope that way all the time when it coems to relationships, so its not uncommon for them to do such things. guys will usually close things off and let things burn inside. so do what feels comfortable to you and don't worry about how it looks to others