Really getting frustrated with eye contact with women?

I have social anxiety so this part of my recovery is getting just incredibly frustrating. I've had major issues my whole life making eye contact with women and I'm trying but its almost as if women see me as being really awkward or something...

Now I'm not making eye contact with everyone I come across - its really hard for me to do. But when I do try, the woman either completely ignores the fact I'm there (deliberately look the other direction until I pass), or they will blankly stares at me for a few seconds as if there's something wrong with me and look away.

For everyone else it seems they get completely different reactions - just more friendly and approachable. I just get the cold shoulder every time and its getting really depressing and frustrating. And usually the girls I do get some eye contact out of, their boyfriend ends up popping up minutes later.

Smiling is not something I do naturally and I just can't force myself to do it most times. I've tried once a few weeks ago and the girl just turned away and I was so embarrassed. I'm not sure what more I can do, I'm really starting to get discouraged...


Most Helpful Guy

  • i find myself really shy around girls, so I kind of share some of the same things you r. sometimes I have real trouble making eye contact, even though it sounds like such an easy thing to do. what I did to help myself later on is to build myself up. start with close friends you know, and practice good eye contact on them, and keep it there for the majority of the conversation. from there, build yurself up to practicing eye contact with people you don't know as well. then after awhile, go for people you don't know. it will surprise you how easy it is sometimes. now I'm no pro at it, but I've gotten so much better at it than I was a few years ago.


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 1

  • Awww that sounds horrible...and you're probably a great guy! I'd love to meet you if that's any consolation. The truth is what you think is a flaw; other people might find incredibly endearing. For instance; it has been noted that men find women who blush attractive and visa versa. Look at it this way; everyone is trying to find their place in the world. At least you are not the pompous guy who gets all the girls; but has no true affection for them.

    I hope this helped :)


What Guys Said 2

  • This same experience is common to all of us, Dan, unless we're some kind of celebrity.

    Just don't get WORRIED about it. Be as cold and indifferent as they are and maybe they'll approach YOU since they think you must be somehow special for ignoring them like that!

    • Are you saying that some women really do approach men first sometimes?

    • You bet they do. Often they are very cuatious about it and make sure you don't notice them g you out. And they'll be subtle about it, finding some excuse to start a conversation rather than just asking you out right off.

  • Don't worry about the blank stares. Chances are they're in their own world, and they're not paying attention to anyone, let alone you. I do this all the time. Don't take it personally, by any means.