He is nit picky about my looks, but I have a great body!

My boyfriend of over a year is great in many ways. he supports my career, talks to me multiple times a day even when we're far apart, is good to my family, and we have a great time together doing almost anything. The one problem is that when I send him sexy pictures of me, or when I try to look cute for him, after saying I look sexy, he'll start telling me what I should change. If he sees me in shorts, and my ankles are looking thick (I'm 5'5" and 108 lb but I admit my ankles are thick in the bone), he'll say "Are you keeping up with your calf lifts?"

He never yells at me or gets mad but it makes me incredibly upset when I try hard and he appreciates it, and then critiques me. I don't mean to brag but my body is pretty darn good- 32DD breasts, a 24 inch waist, and a pretty big butt (36 inches around I think). He tells me I have a great body, and that I'm the prettiest girl he's been with, but then he continues to ask me if I'm "keeping up" with exercise, and he can't just be BLOWN AWAY with sexy pictures, he has to mention what's wrong with them. Like the "angle" of the pic is wrong, or I'm showing the wrong side of my face! I don't want to break up with him just yet, but this is ridiculous.

What do I do? I have freaked out at him over other things in the past so I don't want him to think I'm just "overreacting".


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is obviously not healthy for your self-esteem. A beautiful girl like you should be made to feel special and beautiful by her man-- being with him and around him should make you feel good about yourself and not crap--so I would seriously consider whether this relationship is hurting you or benefiting you--yes he might be great in all other departments but fundamentally if he can't truly love the way you are naturally and make you see that you are beautiful than he's not worth your time...This is especially not beneficial in the long run because you will develop this idea that you need to be perfect and if you don't achieve perfection or alter little faults you are insufficient to him, to any guys, and as a girl, this will become a cicle which will feed to you low self perceptions...and this so wrong, so don't get pulled into that superficiality.

    Beside the way you describe yourself, you seem really easy on the eye and he is still not happy--he's just can't appreciate what he has and seems like he can get anyone he wants or thinks because he has you he can criticise you.

    Figure outhoe serious this really is serious and how it makes you feel about yourself, talk to him about it and if he can't stop criticizing you than he obviously doesn't like you by instinct...as guys should be attracted to girls by natural instinct which is develops from getting to know that person...he seems kinda shallow

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What Guys Said 2

  • I don't like the sound of it. This will sound harsh, but I'll say it to make a point -- I wonder if he wants a girlfriend or a trophy. What do you think?

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    • No, that's valid to ask. He definitely is a bit shallow but he holds himself to the same high standards, works out constantly and is always worried about getting fat. The fact that he's so encouraging about my job makes me think he's not just looking for a trophy but I'm not sure. My mom is fat and he's afraid I will turn into her.

  • What's wrong with him? from what you said you should be totally hot and he should criticize the tiny thing, he should just be happy you're with him

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What Girls Said 1

  • He sounds like the kind of guy who worries too much about what his girlfriend looks like for his own status and gratification. You need to talk to him about this and tell him how you feel. Depending on how he reacts and if he stops should decide whether you are going to break up with him or not. Good luck! :)

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