Can a guy EVER be faithful?

I'm with a guy who looks at every female who walks past him...to the point he doesn't respond to me when I'm speaking to him. He has a crush on a singer and emails himself pics for future viewing. When I try to discuss it with him, he says I'm being jealous and it's going to cause us to break-up. He says looking at porn and other women in no way distracts form his love for me. How can guys have this mind set, and is it true that they can look and not touch?

Updates:
Okay, so here it is a 3 day weekend. We've slept in every day until at least 9:00, he makes no advances. So, today,he goes home and looks at p*rn all day, and emails it to himself, ...but we've had no sexual contact all weekend. This is absolutely insane!
Final update...everyone will be happy to know I've broken up with Mr. nosex... I called a longtime friend, had some drinks and a long night of fun. Man I feel a whole lot better!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Most guys look at porn.. and other women. It is part of the male way of life. However if you feel like he does so more than most men.. I would say rather than telling him to not do it at all (Which won't happen btw.) to tell him to tone it down. Many guys have enough tact to not look at women or porn in front of a girlfriend or relationship.. sounds like you are dealing with a "tactless wonder."

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    • I agree it is a way of life. But, the part that worries me the most is, the more he looks, I feel the more likely he'll see something he wants to persue. All the women he looks at are very short, slender blondes. I am tall, athletic and have dark hair. I feel I'm not what he's atracted to and he'll eventually find someone that turns him on. BTW, we have virtually no sex life other than me satisfying him orally. So, wth? We've been together 4 months now.

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes it's true about that last part. Males are "programmed" to propagate as much as possible. People will never stop looking at other people, ever. What matters is the ratio of attention between their partner and other people.

    Emailing himself pictures is odd, and he has an issue with paying attention. You need to find a way to tell him to pay attention (without sounding like his mom), and I don't know what you should do about the singer.

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    • I asked him if he could give me his attention when he's with me and that he could feel free to look all he wanted when I wasn't around. He denies looking. I see him look at a girl, look away as if he knows it's wrong. Then look back for a few seconds longer then the first time....and again look away. He'll do this up to 4 times, in front of me, while I'm talking to him. I'm a very bold confident person and this is starting to make me very insecure.

  • Get over it? Guys are visual creatures. He's just looking. It's not like he's taking names, numbers, and screwing them all. He's dating you still right? Relaxxxx

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    • Well, I did find a paper in his pocket with 2 girls names and where they work.....ummmm, he texts girls all day long and claims they are "just friends", but when I text him he says he's too busy to answer me....he recently got on Facebook with out saying anything and is looking up girls from his past.....so, do I need a brick to fly in the window and clock me in the head?? I'm an idiot!!!

    • Then leave him. I don't know what else to tell you

What Girls Said 1

  • this guy is pretty disrespectful. yes all guys LOOK but there is a way to do it.

    if he blatantly looks at every woman that walks by him even though he knows it bothers you that isn't good...there are guys out there who if they are going to look at other women, they don't make it so obvious and they do it subtly out of respect for the girl they are with.

    if he lets gawking at other women affect the attention he pays to you...like he will ignore you when speaking to look at another woman that isn't good...there are guys out there who will not do that

    when you try to express something that obviously isn't right, and he blows you off by saying you're just jealous and it will make you guys break up...ask yourself if you even want to stay with a guy like this in the first place? if it really bothers you and he doesn't seem to be considerate of it, he may be taking you for granted. how do you think he'd act if the shoe was on the other foot and you treated him that way? people are telling you to get over it and completely overlook the fact that your boyfriend has no tact and consideration for your feelings and that isn't right. what are you getting out of this relationship? how does being with him bring happiness and joy to your life? I can't tell you what to do because I don't know your life but I can say if he isn't treating you respectfully maybe you should spend less time with him until/if he realizes he should treat you better

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    • He is very inconsiderate and has admitted such. He claims he will try to be more considerate. My feeling is, why should he have to be told it bothers me? Why whould he not know that. As to the shoe being on the other foot. He has to deal with guys hitting on me everyday. I work in a mans industry. I am the only woman amongst over 100 men daily. They all tell him how they want me and he's lucky to be with me. I don't look at any of them, but he is jealous and has shown insecurity.

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