Proaction or Fate?

I've heard many opinions from people in my life on either side of this hypothetical question, so I figured I would poll the site users here to see what they believe. Do you feel it's more beneficial to find relationships when you're not looking for them (fate, or seeing it as "meant to be"), or actively going out and making opportunities for dating happen?

I think fate is great and all, but I'm a little more of a take-charge kind of guy, and I think that anything I can do to turn the odds in my favor is something I'll consider and/or do. Therefore, I believe in pursuing what I'm looking for, rather than just leaving it up to chance. What are your opinions?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I always say that I would rather stumble across a guy, but I mean that I would rather meet a guy and click with him, and have that lead to a relationship, not that I want to stand there waiting for someone to come along. You can't expect to find a relationship if no one knows you're interested in having one; you have to put in some effort. On the other hand, you can search too hard. One of my friends always ends up with the wrong guys because she gets so focused on finding the right one that she misses better opportunities. All things in moderation.

    • Yes - it seems to all be a balance of common sense and opportunity.

What Girls Said 1

  • I think its a mixture. Fate can only do so much. Sitting at home your not going to find a girl. But going to a bar and being a sleazy guy trying to pick up a girl your not going to get a girlfriend either. I would say be confident in yourself and go out put yourself in situation where girls with potential are but don;t force it to much cause you can't force them to like you or you to like them. let it happen. Not saying don't talk, look open and friendly, and easy to approach or approach them. But as I said from their its about nature. And fate is part of you. Your choices as to where you go to meet these girls leads to the fate of which girls you meet. People always think its one or the other. It's your choices that create your fate.

    • That's a reasonable answer - be prepared, put yourself in the right place at hopefully the right time, and hope for the best.

What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think you understand fate.

    Fate mandates not only an end, but also the means to that end. If one believes wholeheartedly in fate, then every single action and thought that they have is fated. However, should one believe that, it would in no way change how they go about their everyday life. A guy would still go to work, unless he was stupid enough to assert knowledge of his fated future.

    Applying this to your question, fate could be applied in either scenario. It's just one guy is lazy and looking for an excuse. The other guy could just as easily believe in fate, and think that he is fated to be proactive with finding women.