What is going on between my boyfriend and this woman?

So, there's a woman in her thirties at my boyfriend's work. He met her a couple months after we started dating. She was a coordinator for a DJ program we both took. I noticed how drawn he was to her. They went out into the hall one time and talked for at least an hour. I could see that she's older and therefore knows more about the music industry than I do.

Whenever we went to the program after that, he completely changed around me. He was distant, inattentive, and tried to be as unaffectionate as possible when we were around her. One time when we were leaving, he came to her, shook her hand, and whispered something on her ear. As a result, she gave me a dirty/sneaky/guilty look. As soon as we left, he was back to normal.

When he found out she's gonna be working with him this summer, he was thrilled. He even asked me one day, "So guess who I'm gonna be working with this summer?", as if it was some sort of privilege. During his first week at work, all he could talk about was her. One time when we were going through a rough patch, he came home 40 minutes late and said "I just had an amazing conversation with Peg, and WE came to a conclusion that you might have an undiagnosed disability." I was offended to say the least. Not only by the fact that THEY thought that I had an undiagnosed disability, but that he shared our relationship information with her.

A little while ago, he mentioned that he wanted to go to De La Soul. I asked him "Why?" and "Who told you about it?" since he's typically not into jazz music, and he said "Peg. She said they're really good." We didn't end up going; instead he dragged me to Winners to pick out new clothes for himself (trying to impress much?)

This morning he all of a sudden decided to put on dress pants and a dress shirt. My boyfriend always looks good but dress clothes aren't his thing, especially since he hates wearing dress pants. I asked him, "Are you trying to impress someone?". He sighed and said "Just because I decide to put dress clothes on? No, I'm not trying to impress anyone." Of course he wouldn't admit to it if he did...

Now, I think it's highly unlikely that he's cheating on me. He goes to work and comes back on the dot (except for that one time). Maybe quickies on lunch breaks? Maybe I'm taking this too far, but I do think there's something fishy between them two, even if it isn't sex.

I should mention that this woman is overweight, has a prosthetic leg, and is bald. My boyfriend says she has a great personality, but personally when I first met her, I found her to be a little harsh. The latter times when I interacted with her, sometimes she seemed nice, but sometimes she really made it clear to me through body language that she didn't want to talk to me. So personally I can't say she has that great of a personality.

I should also mention that my boyfriend is 19, I'm 20, and we're both considered above average in terms of looks.


What Guys Said 1

  • If you start looking for something you'll most likely find it. If you don't suspect him of cheating and the only thing he's really doing wrong is neglecting your feelings on the matter then perhaps bringing it to his attention in a sensible manner would get him to thinking some? It does seem like he's going out of his way to get on this girls good side but doesn't necessarily mean that he's cheating. I'm not sure of the dynamics of your relationship but I find that getting straight to the point (sometimes bluntly) usually produces results although their not always the ones you want. Perhaps you should find a friend to dress up for? If you'd like for him to taste his own medicine? I wouldn't really condone that route but some people find it effective. Just a thought.


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