Why is going from "beautiful" to "sexy" such a bad thing for me?

When I first meet a guy, I always try to engage him with my mind first. I make conversations that last and make them laugh. Not much physical contact at all. But they pursue me frantically anyhow, and I will often ignore them to filter out jerks. The ones who are truly interested never give up. They will go far out of their way, sometimes literally begging to see me again. The men will be so sweet, shower me with all their affections and attention- and give me adorable nicknames or call me "beautiful", "sweetheart" or "gorgeous".

This is good, right? Wrong .

Upon the second meeting, I may get a little more flirty. Light touches, or small kisses, because at this point of saying no for so long, I want to as well. At this time, the guy will lose all his restraint and won't keep his hands off! Instantly I go from "Sweetheart" to "Sexy", and that's when things go bad. I may indulge for a little bit of make-out, but then pull away or tell them to stop when things start to move too fast.

After that, I never see the guy again. Why does this happen?!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You might be revving their engines a little too hard. If you go from little physical contact to even a little more flirty - pecks and touches - guys will take that as the green light to push it as far as possible. And when you stop them after initially giving them the okay, they get discouraged and disinterested. I can see why you are physically distant at first - there are a lot of bad guys out there that are better off out of your life, and it's important to find a guy who can engage you both mentally and physically. But the way you switch gears can be very confusing for guys and they could get the wrong idea about you.

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What Guys Said 2

  • The ones you are "filtering out" by ignoring are the ones that will treat you properly. If you play games you only have yourself to blame for any of these problems. The men that get your attention after all that ignoring have deducted that you are playing hard to get. By breaking your defense barrier they probably think they are "in the zone" and believe that you will put out. Any men that begs to see you again without actually knowing who you are is looking for one thing. If you really want to find a high caliber man, try talking to a man that ignores you, might be quite an education to sit on the other side of the fence.

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  • You're definitely in control of the situation at first.

    The guy is in pursuit mode; if you repel him, he'll leave and look for lower-hanging fruit.

    Any way you look at it, to him you're an object.

    Advice: don't let it get to the make-out stage.

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