Why are girls so desperate to be in a relationship?

Question

It's pathetic really, I always laugh whenever I hear discussions of women wanting to get married or trying to find a boyfriend. Then they try to drag me into it asking me when I'm getting married! HELL NO! I'm the only smart woman on this planet. They want me to join them in hell. Why bother getting married anyway. They're probably gonna get divorced or he's going to cheat. Hell that's what men are programmed to do. If they were smart they'd just be like me and sleep around with different men! It's the 21st century why not? We have condoms, birth control, abortion, etc... What's the big deal?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It isn't pathetic, everyone is entitled to do their own thing in life but putting down another way of living is not how you should go about it. In your question you said women who want to be in a relationship are pathetic, stupid and desperate and you also negatively said that all men cheat, not all men cheat! Everyone doesn't fit that neatly into a box. You are stereotyping and that is wrong. I also don't think all women are necessarily desperate. I know I was not, I was happy being single before and I was happy having relationships and am in a wonderful one now but it's never been my main aim in life. That is me personally.

Answering your question; you seem a bit cold about the whole thing so I will give you a more practical answer as well as the rest. You are guaranteed sex whenever you want (not just on nights when you get lucky), you know where it's been so you don't have to worry about diseases, condoms aren't 100 percent. You have someone to share costs of living, rent etc. You have someone to take you out and buy you nice things, dinner, movies etc. You are with someone you trust therefore not at a very high risk of being attacked or robbed (changing partners ever night may pose this risk). Depending on what the man does, he will be useful for certain things e.g. my boyfriend is useful when it comes to technology therefore he can fix everything for me and make it be at the highest standards possible.

Not on the practical side but wonderful all the same. Having someone to hold you and knowing they want to hold you back (not just because you're going to have sex with them in a bit or just had sex with them). Having someone to talk to you and to listen to you knowing that it's not just to get in your pants. There's this major feeling of safety around them, you just know they'll take care of you. You can wear you silliest "around the house" clothes and not wear make up sometimes and he still looks at you as though you're dressed to impress. You have someone to vent your stress on, this may not sound good but sometimes a good argument can be refreshing, afterward he still loves you and any damage is easily repaired.

There is so much more but I don't think you could appreciate it. You have chosen to live differently and that is good for you, just think about how you word things before asking a question such as this.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

the big deal is you have no emotional connection with anyone and all you care about is shallow physical nothingness...to be honest. you're the pathetic one and I feel sorry for you. because when you die the only one other than your family that will have loved you is yourself. Some people want to live to make a difference in another persons life. To life for more than just sexual satisfaction, that's just there for a few minutes and goes away. Some people want to love someone and show affection to another human being...because that is something that lasts forever. That has quality and substance. It may end up badly, but at least while it was good it was worth it. Only cowards never try. Because they're too afraid to take a risk. But by never taking a risk, you'll never feel the ultimate reward, which is what everyone who loves is loving for. You'll always end up in second place and the sad thing is...you'll never know. Because you'll never make the effort to find out. As for them wanting you to join them in hell...if you believe in hell, you would also believe in heaven...and if you study the bible, you'd know that God apposes sexual immorality. So they're trying to drag you out of hell, not have you join them.

MeuAmor · Accepted Answer

Only smart woman in the planet...

join them in hell...

women are only smart if they want to sleep around like you...

Well...

I don't want to get married now but I also don't want to be done by randoms all day.

Either way it goes I know people who want to get married and I know people that want to have more sexual relationships with less depth and I respect them both and I don't think less of either.

KERMlT · Accepted Answer

I hope you find that one person that completes you. You trust him with your life. You know in your heart he will never try to disappoint you. He will be a great father if you two decide to have children. He is kind and caring. He may even shed a tear around you. He understands you and accepts you for who you are. He is thoughtful and brings you a glass of ice water if you start to cough.

His touch is comforting and firm. His stubble irritates your face and you still feel like he is pressed up against you when he leaves. His scent is intoxicating when you two are reunited from a long period of time. He still does the little things years later that you fell in love with like write little notes to you.

dynamic23 · Accepted Answer

I'm honestly on the opposite side of things and see your actions as a simple replacement for the emotions that you've obviously stripped away from sex. Your feminist empowerment culture has taught you to screw for the orgasm, and that's it. Just don't come complaining to me when you're 28 and are bored by sex. I'll be with one of those stupid girls who don't sleep around and do respect me.

Simple-Simonette · Answer

I really don't see it as desperate or pathetic - nothing wrong for wanting something.

Sure there are people out there who feel that being in a relationship will fix everything in their lives, but there are also those out there who refuse to see the grace of sharing their experiences with others. Both extremes are abnormal - the rest of us either learn through experience or know that there is something rich about having a history with someone.

I find your bitterness telling - I mean, it's one thing to live your life as you see fit and another to look down on those who don't feel the way you do. I think you're suffering from something deeper than distaste ... but only you would know.

Good luck.

Miss_All_Time_Low · Answer

I don't agree with the "women sleeping around" bit (or men). But your question is brilliant.

It's probably half our own insecurities, half social conditioning that girls can only be happy when we're in a relationship. Men still have careers, sports, friends and whatnot. For them, it's just as well. But girls aren't supposed to be happy until they have a boyfriend - as if it was their meaning of life or something.

But I believe that no matter the gender, we all have talents and individuality that reaches beyond this rubbish. We should use it, and not be so obsessed with love. We should work on first being happy being US, developing our talents, reaching our dreams, and then settling down and making our partner happy.

Having said that, true love is one of the best things in the world. =)

I once heard: "For women, a relationship is everything. For men, it's just a part of life."

lovefaithful · Answer

I so agreed with what you said, except for the part at the end.

omg, being single is nice. no worries about if the guy loves you or not, and he's going to (emotionally, mentally, physically) cheat or not.

I'm married now.

but when I was single... I did have a lot of guys sleep with me... but no sex.

I dated around, and it was awesome. =) But sex is for marriage.

I guess my morals are just like that.

but yeah, marriage at a young age? no thanks. I'm so glad I got married much older than my sister or all my cousins... more free time to be single longer and explore.

Rinaxo · Answer

Well not all men are like that.  Some women and men are like that, they cheat and stuff like that but just because some do doesn't mean you should give up on them.  I don't like relationships either and I don't plan on getting married because I find it a big waste of time but not for your reasons.  I do not think that men are all lying, cheating pricks.  Some are, but then again some women are too.  I don't want to get into relationships because I don't like commitment.  I don't like the idea of romance and bieng with the same person forever and thinking about them all the time.  Because honestly, why the hell would I want ot think about the same person all the time?  I'd rather have sex with different people then to stay with the same person for long period of time.  I'll admit that relationships are not something I find too smart (my opinion) but I also think there are many men out there who are faithful, loving and caring.  I'm just not looking for that.

razhadalax · Answer

Smart? Good.

Open to sex? Good

Openly condescending towards others? NOT GOOD.

I agree with your social values 100%, and I do think that people who enforce traditional gender roles and sexual norms are wrong and holding society back, but instead of being so disrespectful towards those you deem (again correctly IMO) as being less smart that you, you should strive to bring others up to your level.

Noblesse oblige is a hallowed concept for me, and a girl who knows how to carry herself well will invariably display this trait.

Littletad · Answer

I'm glad I didn't meet a girl like you, no offense. There's nothing wrong with waiting and being smart about who you date, but sleeping around is just a turn off. But it's your decision. And many people, not just girls, are brought up wanting to have a partner. For the most part, every single activity in life is so much better with a partner. That's what makes it special and unique. So yea, dating and getting screwed over sucks. But for the small few who actually find someone worth it, it's an amazing feeling and experience. One that many of us would continue to search for, no matter the struggle.

Jonny_ · Answer

So basically you think like the common guy? Have sex, don't get tied down... Although I'd like to say wanting to be in a relationship with someone doesn't make you any less smart than people who would rather be single. If that were true Stephen Hawking wouldn't have been married and so on.

seynee · Answer

lol you're exactly like my boyfriend hahaha until I asked him out (yes it's the 21st century, girls do ask guys out). and nao he's jst a bit nicer :) and much less insensitive.

anyways, I don't think girls are desperate to be in a relationship. it's jst that a lot of people want an emotional connection with jst one person, rather than a physical one :P Iuno, and it's nice to know that someone loves you and the feeling's mutual.

Anonymous · Answer

Big deal? STD's? Morals?

honestly it just sounds like you're completely insecure: sleeping with as many people as possible to build your self esteem and hide your fear of being rejected, cheated on, or hurt.

scar1 · Answer

I like your attitude, I totaly aggree with having sex no strings attached, the world needs more females like you

flower1000 · Answer

lots of woman like the security of a man his arms warmth every thing and the constant same man to rely on  its a natural thing in a woman to find 1 man its ginetic to find a mate and settle some woman like you don't need it :)

Rinaxo · Answer

But one other thing.  It's cool that you have your own opinions but being judgmental is not going to make you better than those "pathetic" girls.  They want a relationship, "since when was that a bad thing".

Anonymous · Answer

I have no idea but it sure as hell makes the dumb little sl*ts easy to manipulate. I lost all respect I had for women when I realized that my roommate could get a different girl in bed every week by lying about who he was and that most of the dumb little whores were more than eager to f*** him the same night they met him.

Anonymous · Answer

Haha, I love ya girl. :P

Just don't forget the rubber! xD

Seriously, forget all of that over-thought emotional crap, it's a waste of your time!

If you're happy, you're happy. :3

Just don't get too messed up, or I'll shank ya. xD

dreamishobby · Answer

you are way TOO MUCH negative about life...and I don't think that writing any answer here will help you even a bit! so m not going to say anything but...GET WELL SOON...huhhh...!

moviedude714 · Answer

what I hate even more is that being desperate hurts guys way more than it hurts girls

Anonymous · Answer

Marriage is over rated.

Anonymous · Answer

ok lucky1227, its getting old now. your now annoying, and need to be removed from the site

Anonymous · Answer

coz women are ho's

Why are girls so desperate to be in a relationship?

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