What should I do? Please hear me out

OK well, its been a little more then 2 years I'm with this girl.

I love her very much, we've been through a lot, a lot of fights, usually cause of other people.

This girl, she lacks self-confidence, it almost seems like she feels "inferior" to me. She's constantly afraid of other girls, she always tells me, it's not you I don't trust, it's them. To a point where I have to get a remark each time I would say Hello to a girl with a smile, and I hate that, cause I feel like I can't be myself, always having that thought in the back of my head of the possible consequences.

This girl, has always been a girl which seemed full of confidence, and makes everyone feel at ease, like other guys per example. But what p*sses me off, is how I let her freely do w.e she wants, spend time with other guys, let them drive her around w.e, But when it comes to me, I can't do a single thing without getting a remark of some sort.

Sometimes, I'd like to go out, and just spend some time with my friends, but it seems like she has to follow me everywhere I go, If I want to go see my best friend, It can't be just guys chilling out, she always has to come, but don't even think about me and her spending time with her female friends, its not even an option.

I'm a guy who wants to live his life to the fullest, but right now all the free time I have, has to be dedicated to her, and I feel like I'm not living my life at all, because all I would do during summer is work, spend some time with her, work, spend some time with her, to a point where were always looking for something to do.

Lately, she's been a bit better with me, but I always get this feeling that, if per example I sit next to a girl in my class, and she sees me, shell ask me after my class : Why didn't you sit next to Vince? I feel like I have to restrain my socializing with girls because of that.

But the girl, she's beautiful, She loves me terribly, and I love her terribly also. I make her laugh, she makes me laugh, and we spend good time together. But her being my first girlfriend, I'm almost 19 and it was a bit more then 2 years ago, I feel like I missed out on my high school life, and am now missing out on my university life.

I love her very, very much. And you know we have plans, She likes my family, and everything, she's ready to go in apartment when I move for my studies, I just feel like I haven't lived yet enough, and she's already talking about our future house and the kids well have all the time.

Ive been thinking of breaking up, but What if I can't find someone else I can love as much? We love each other very much, and they all say that's supposed to be enough...But I'm scared that ill feel like I didn't live my young life enough when I get older...

Thanks in advance for those who hear me out,

Any tips, opinions, anything would mean a great deal to me, cause this feels like the biggest life changing decision for me...W

All the thanks in the world for da help,its good to know smn out there caresI shouldve mentioned it, I explained myself, she understood,but now when somethings wrong she doesn't tell me, so I still have a hard time being myselfThanks again 4 the help


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is tough situation.

    What you really have to do is TELL HER.

    Now, hear me out, don't tell her after you have done something and she is already upset, but make it a point to talk to her about it. You say you love her, and she loves you too, then I believe you. If she really loves you, she would understand, which I'm hoping she would. You say you've been dating since high school, and so it seems you're pretty happy to have stuck it out this long --but tell her what you're telling me right now (and all the people on here).

    The SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN A TRUE RELATIONSHIP IS HONESTY. Don't hide anything, including your fellings.

    Notice that I wrote "True Relationship" in my last sentence. I say this because if you can't tell her how you feel, or tell her something you want to say, that isn't a true realtionship. Nor is it true honesty. If she takes it the wrong way, don't get upset. I don't know why you haven't said anything for so long, but I'm guessing it's because you're afraid of the way she will take it. But don't be! Is she gets angry, she gets angry. But if you keep this in, eventually it will come out --it always does.

    Tell her an a way that is serious, but not when either of you are upset. Just tell her the truth.

    Tell her you love her, that you know she loves you, but in the end the way things are going are making you stressed out. Tell her that you want to hang out with other people and that sometimes you feel like she's constantly watching over you. Tell her that there is no way you'd ever hurt her, but you feel like she doesn't trust you, even though you have never given her any reason not to. Tell her you feel like she thinks she's going to be replaced, but no one could ever replace her, and that you're teling her this in order to keep your relationship stornger. You don't want to hide anything from her, so you're not going to hide the fact you don't like the way things have been going.

    Hope this helps,

    All my love,



What Girls Said 2

  • Answer to your 'update': If she's avoiding on telling you when something's wrong, you should talk to her about it and tell her that you still want her to be honest with you because you care about how she's feeling but you also need her to put her trust in you at the same time. Again, its all about the way you tell her, I don't know her so I can't exactly tell you the best way to tell her these things, but if she's insecure, what you say is going to affect her and she might take it the wrong way. She sounds like the type who needs reassurance. All you can do is give her reassurance that you love her but at the same time don't push your own needs (such as space/independence) out of the picture.

    Best of luck.

    • Aight, Ill talk to her about it, thanks again!

  • A relationship needs more than love as well. You can love the person to death yet if that's all you depend it on, its more than likely not going to work out. She needs to trust you just as much as you trust her. It's clear that she has insecurities and what you need to do is reassure her that you love her and only have eyes for her but at the same time explain (in a way that doesn't make it seem like you're complaining, otherwise she'll more than likely get offended) to her that you need her to trust you. But the way you tell her is quite important because things can get misunderstood quite easily.


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