just to clarify... I'm not "out to get" anyone. I just want to find someone to love. but the thing is. I'm a pretty good looking guy, not like Jersey Shore guys or whatever, but I'd say I'm above average, and I'm not as fit either, but I'm not fat or whatever.
but I don't have that carefree cocky attitude. I'd care if I got into trouble, I'd care if I hurt someone, I care about me and I care about others and their feelings and well being. I don't act stupid like those type of "tool-shed" guys.
but I love a beautiful girl, and I just hope to find the ONE that I can really care for and love right. I feel that I deserve the best. and I do my best to BE the best I can. so what gives? I get zero female attention, when I personally know guys that fit into that "tool-shed" category I was talking about, literally get APPROACHED by girls without having to approach them themselves.
A lot of people who judge the book by its cover seem to think I'm a bore... I'm really tired of it. I wish people would stop being so shallow and superficial and for all the wrong attention. people are so crazy and this world is so messed up. I just want someone to love and someone that actually cares about me like I care for them, and not be misunderstood and blown off socially and as much as I reach out to people, they act like they didn't even hear me, then act like everything is cool later. I have cool friends, they just aren't much of friends to me.
any tips or advice? :(
Most Helpful Guy
The thing is, perceptions is sadly everything. A "tool-shed" guy knows this and will play to it (even sometimes subconsiously or natually due to the way their lives pan out).
Firstly, a "real" person is usually badly flawed. For someone who is uncaring to function in this world they must not appear uncaring (they need to develop a mask). They learn to not show themselves but to put forth what brings them most reward. This can give a passibly attractive person an air of "mysteriousness" and "unobtainability" as they continually seek to hide their failings. This seems to be attractive to a lot of women.
IMO its why women go for "bad guys", they don't want the bad guy they just see someone whos above average looking and hiding who they are and they fill in all the missing information with their hopes and dreams of what the man might be (or hope maybe they will fill the gap possibly). Guys of course do this too.
Sometimes girls seem to want to "fix" a guy. They think it must be that "he's misunderstood" (the reason why he behaves the way he does). They then seek to understand and to show love (with a misguided feeling this person is the preverbial lost diamond). If a person is too easy to understand that may work well for them initially (they will like be liked for their qualities) but in the medium term a person could lose interest or not be left with a sense of physical attraction for the person (theres something about an inviting mystery which seems to foster attraction).
So, I think what might help is to make yourself less obtainable (obviously without actually hiding away lol) and avoid being obvious in your thinking (reveal who you are only in little clues and make people feel getting to know you is deeply special). If you meet someone you really like who seems to like you, establish there's an interest then behave towards them like if she was an unattractive friend. Let the love grow.0