Okay, so I am a 22 year old girl who likes to meet new people and develop friendships with everybody. I like to be friends with everybody regardless of race, age, gender, etc….. but problem is, I don’t think it is possible for girls and guy to just be “normal” friends with each other without ANYTHING sexual (kiss, etc) EVER happening between the two of them, and I personally don’t understand why that is the case and I think it is sad… I think girls and guys should be able to control themselves and be normal friends with each other and hang out one on one and become good friends down the line but never do anything sexual with each other because they would just be friends, not dating each other….. What do you think?
Because it is frustrating for me, every time I try to talk to guys or make friends with a guy, he backs off because he probably assumes I like him in a romantic way which I don’t. I just try to develop a friendship with him like I do with girls but he assumes I want more? Like it’s frustrating. I NEVER do anything sexual with a male UNLESS I am dating him. I don’t have any “real” friends that are male. All my real friends and good friends that I talk with and hang out with are female. This makes me question if it is possible to just be normal friends with a guy to hang out one on one with him and develop a good friendship with him without ever doing anything sexual with him. I don’t think it is possible for guys, but it is possible for me, I know for sure. I control myself very well and if it is only a friendship, than that’s it. I don’t do anything else.
Like I know I tried to make friends with this one guy I met at an event (had no attraction for him – was just trying to make a normal friend). We agreed to become facebook friends but when I wrote on his wall to wish him a happy new year a few days later, he sent me a facebook message saying he has a girlfriend and I was like “wtf?” I had to say to him that I was happy for him but I had to also tell him verbally that I did not like him as more than a friend and then he understood and was okay with me and all.. I told him I liked him as just a normal friend, that’s it. It is frustrating for me because I want to develop good, deep friendships with guys and to be able to hang out with them one on one without anything sexual EVER happening between the two of us, but I don’t know if he will be able to do that or not. Especially if he thinks I am good-looking and a lot of guys and girls say I’m beautiful….. so guys, what do you think? It’s not possible, right? :/
Most Helpful Guy
I think it is possible. There was this girl whom I've hung out with a few times. At first I was attracted to her, but then that just went away and never saw her as anything more than a friend. She has a boyfriend anyways, so even if I was still interested in her that way, she is already taken.
I think it depends how you go about it. If you've just met a guy and get a number or something and ask him to hang out right away, then maybe they'd think your coming onto them. But if you've spoken for a while and have a good relationship that way I think asking them to hangout as a friend would be well received. The girl I've hung out with - we've known each other from school for 3-4 years. It was 3 years before we actually hung out. I think if I asked her to hang out much much earlier than that, she would have thought I was coming onto her.
When I make a friendly gesture like what you did about new years, or if I ask a woman to hangout or something and they say 'I have a BF' - I just say 'umm ok? does he want to come too then?' or something like that. I think that conveys the message that your not looking for anything more than a friendship3