I don't feel attractive enough for a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I'm not an attractive girl by media's standards, I have a pretty average face nothing special, although not spectacular. My body is average too, I have small boobs, slimish and big thighs with cellulite =/

I'm not what society considers attractive. And I kind of have a problem with this. I don't feel attractive enough for a relationship. I feel very self conscious.

I want to stay away from relationships. I had a boyfriend once who commented on hot girls and such, I know this is normal for guys, but it hurt me to no end and I felt really self conscious. I obsessed with my looks and what they had that I didn't, namely perfect legs and perfect boobs.

I don't want to go through that again. I know I am smart enough, and kind enough for sex and a relationship. But the looks thing still upsets me.

I don't like feeling inferior to these perfect women, so I stay off relationships and sex. But it's difficult, because I still want affection and/or sex from time to time.

How can I stop wanting love and sex? I know you will say "all guys do it, just accept it" or "just be confident it's all that matters". But I already WAS in a relationship and couldn't stand it. I mean he wasn't even a perv or anything, he was just a NORMAL guy and I couldn't take it and felt horribly hurt.

I feel that if I'm with any guy I'll be such a bad girlfriend 'cause of this that having a relationship is not worth it. So please help me stay off relationships 'cause I'm too ugly for one.

[peace-love-couture]

1)You have to remember,an attractive person is an attractive person.So if you're in a relationship with a guy,you're going to notice other attractive males am I right?I mean,say David Beckham walks past you,or Tyson Beckford,you're going to notice.Whether you comment or not,I can't decide,but you'll notice.It doesn't mean you find your boyfriend any less attractive right?You still find him attractive but can appreciate other forms of beauty and attractiveness.Same for him.

2)Cellulite.Guys notice,but don't care.Same with stretch marks,it's there but not a deal breaker and doesn't make ANYONE any less attractive.Cross that out of your mind.You shouldn't worry about that at ALL,not at all.

3)Small boobs?Plenty of guys love small breasts,plus,think about it,are all guys boob guys?NOPE.Some guys are leg guys,other guys butt guys,some guys feet guys,other hips etc.Not every guy goes for breasts.Don't worry about that.

4)No one is too ugly.If you need a "pick me up" go to Wal-Mart.Girlllll,you will feel better after 10 minutes in that store.After seeing all of the married women haha,you will know you stand a chance.

Bottom line is:

No one is too ugly to be in a relationship.You can consider yourself ugly,but that doesn't mean other guys will.You shouldn't deprive yourself of sex and a relationship because of little insecurities.Everyone deserved sex,love and a relationship.I think you should spend some time improving your self esteem and gaining some confidence,then attempt another relationship.You don't have to live up to societies standards to be in a relationship.It would be heaven if all guys looked like David Beckham but does that mean women are turning men down left and right for not looking like him?Nope.For other reasons yes,but not that.

Beauty tips:

-Do 30-60 minutes of cardio a day;running,jogging,speed walking,jump roping,swimming,dancing etc.

-Do strength training 2-3x a week;calisthenics,resistance training,weight training.

-Cleanse,tone and moisturize your skin.

-Do a weekly pedicure and manicure.Or go get a pedicure/manicure done.

-Exfoliate your skin(body and face) 1-2x a week.Use a handheld scrubber such as the Clarisonic(expensive) or a back scrubber with bristles to scrub over your body and give yourself a dry brush.Or use an exfoliating scrub.

-Deep condition your hair once a week(alternate between a protein/cholesterol and moisturizing)

-Use make-up to ENHANCE your features,although many guys go for cake faces too.

-Get your eye brows shaped,the right shaping can change your face drastically.

-Wear clothing that accentuates your curves.

These can help you feel beautiful.

[Asker]

I already was in a relationship and live all that and it HURT. Plus I hate David Beckham and guys like him, they're too plastic and fake and look gross. Sorry.

[peace-love-couture]

Ohh man.Darn.

Why did it hurt?You acknowledge attractive guys too right?

[Asker]

When I was with him I saw guys who were like Ok, but it was never like "OMG he's hot, damn, look at that!". Which is what he did sometimes. He also looked at p*rn, you know normal stuff guys do. But I didn't do it and that's fine, 'cause that's just me. Being with him, I had no sexual desire or attraction towards others.

[peace-love-couture]

Hun,you're a girl.You think differently from guys.I He was an asshole,there was nothing wrong with you,your body or what you look like.Everything he pinned on you,those were his insecurities,he had to make someone more insecure than himself and he's won apparently.But you have to remember,that isn't your problem,he's one guy.He doesn't represent them all.You have to be content with yourself and love yourself before anyone else can be happy with you and love you

[Itskimy]

Im sorry that you feel like this. I honestly know what you're going through. You need to take steps to build up confidence. To love someone first you must love yourself.

why do you want to stay out of a relationship when you desire one?

why don't you open up and give guys a chance to get to know you. Their might be a special person that might fall in love with you for who you are.

[KarKingJack]

If you really wanna know how to stop the need from them? I can tell you, but its a dark road, like. Just, like... Find a dealer who'll lay out line after line for ya, find some desparate way to get the money, maybe even start shooting up. Dedicate your life to the bitter, dirty desire for drugs, 'cos its the same requirement as love. Your just filling holes, you know?

I mean I could talk for hours about trying to get dedicated to some kinda hobby or work or artform, and let that take over, but that kinda stuff, it just breeds wanton love. To me, that's a good thing. But not for you, ey? So, the only way to ruin your want for life's treasures is to engage in misanthropy, and misanthropy with no gain. And that's how, you know?

But there's a better way to go. Essentially, you can make yourself attractive. And if you find you've the determination to do what I've recommended, which I guess I hope you dont, then you have twice the determination needed to make yourself beautiful in your own eyes. And that? That's productive, that's fantastic.

[Asker]

I would need tons of surgery to look as beautiful as society dictates. I don't like surgery.

[KarKingJack]

Unless you live in Hollywood, or something, then it really doesn't. There are things you can do to your body, and to your face, y'know. With the right drive, you can look the way you want. Obviously with the exception of like, breasts being too big or small, or having, eh, no arms, or something. But I wouldn't worry about that...

[Asker]

But my eyes for instance. they're brown, they're boring. The shape of my face I can't change and I don't like wearing too much make up to create fake illusions. My hips will always be big because my bones are like that. I am pear shaped and no matter how much weight I lose I will always look that way.

I feel I look so plain. Not really ugly, but not stunning and I hate that. And guys are always going on about big boobs so yeah... =/

[KarKingJack]

Whats wrong with brown? I've never heard that before, like. What shape is your face? I'm sure you could get a different hairstyle that'll frame your face much better, if your not happy with it ^^ If you don't like wearing too much makeup, that's fine... I don't agree with the fake illusions complex but y'know, that's you. Just... Well, loosing weight, or gaining weight, changes parts of your face, cheekbones and stuff, so that'll come.

[KarKingJack]

Big hips are a good thing, as far as I know. If your not happy with them, wear more slimming clothes, yeah? Or clothes that distract from that area. To flaunt your best and hide the rest, eyyyy. Haha. And there's nothing really wrong with pear shape... Just find a way of dressing and looking that looks good with it and that your comfortable in, y'know?

And y'know, where I'm from, lads don't really talk about breast size.. I take it your American? Maybe if this is a real problem, you should-

[KarKingJack]

Split, you know? Like, this kinda thing can really mess you up. Maybe you'd be more suited to Europe, or something.