Can a nice guy ever be with a truly beautiful woman by simply being himself?

I mean, I'm decent looking, reasonably confident, nice, I have faults, I don't have the most colorful personality. but I have a lot of social smarts, a wide variety of interests and a few things that I'm really passionate about, whether it's one of the things I like to do, or for instance, my favorite musical artists/bands I absolutely love with a passion and I love seeing them in concert.

but with girls, I'm not too successful in terms of getting a date or even knowing if a girl even wants to talk to me, much less likely be interested in me. I'd love to find a girl I thought was the most beautiful woman in the world and someone I could never even think about ruining what we have. I'm not a guy to cheat I could never do it. I know the term nice guys finish last, and for the time being, it seems unfortunately true.

there are a lot of times where I do get frustrated and down and feel lonely or worry if I'll ever find someone, but I'm only 20 years old. I really hope to see my luck change. I'm not ever caught at parties or anything. I mostly do my own thing with my close friends and do my best to keep up in school lol. trying to find work as well.

I just really hope to find the girl of my dreams one day, and have it not be about a girl wanting to change me or whatever, but just accept me for me. girls seem to think I'm boring, pssh even some of my old male friends, because I'm not really apart of their group anymore that hits up clubs and college parties. I'd like to expand my social circle and opportunities and all tho. I'm not opposed to going to hang out at a party.

I just hope my luck will change. Is there any hope for me? thank you! :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • of course! why would you want to be anyone else? Whether she's beautiful or not, never EVER change yourself for someone! True beauty and love comes within, and I promise, in a few years she won't be as beautiful anymore and that's where true love comes in.

    Maybe the problem is not whether or not your changing yourself, but rather to better yourself, then that is a different story. You wrote that you are "reasonably confident" and don't have the most colorful personality. Maybe now is the push and time to finally come out of your shell and to become who you really want to be- a handsome confident and vibrant person!

    Maybe try things that will give you more confidence, like do daring things that you would never do otherwise! How about skydiving? Or do something crazy like walk into a bar and tell the most beautiful woman there that she is stunning! Or how about have some of your lady friends give you a total makeover that will help build up your confidence!

    To help your personality, maybe indulge yourself in social activities that you would otherwise never be caught doing! Why not go to a party with some friends and meet new people and become more outgoing and learn to tell stories about your life and share things about yourself that no one else knows.

    The problem is not that you can't have this beautiful lady , it's that your worried you'll never measure up. Your fine just the way you are! If you want to better yourself, then go for it! But never EVER change!

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What Girls Said 7

  • I think that's too shallow to say you want a "beautiful girl" if you are simply talking about appearance. Your beautiful girl doesn't have to be a supermodel but if she's a keeper you would love every small imperfection, she's capture your mind and you'd go around singing songs like "she's so high above me" and "slice of heaven". It's a cliche but if you truly want a relationship it's the heart before the boobs (it's what's on the inside that matters). Most girls just want someone who'll make them feel beautiful anyway, if they constantly look in the mirror and sigh with love you probably want to move on.

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  • dude! you're fine! REALLY

    hmmm but not when it comes to the hot party girls, but if you're talking about beautiful girls who have respect for themselves then you're fine :)

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    • I just hope those girls that like to party sorta cool it down a bit lol or the beautiful girls that don't party actually pop up somewhere ha ha ;)

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    • That's how it seems like it'll work. Just hope it does lol :D

    • Until then, watch out for nice gorgeous girls :)

  • "nice guys finish last" is just crap they made up. in real life you never noe wats gonna happen. Tons of awesome, beautiful, nice, kind, and smart girls are out there, and you need to put yourself out there in order to get one.

    if the girl thinks you are boring, then she must be a boring person as well. Boring people gets bored, and I never find nice guys boring :)

    Have FAITH in yourself and good luck!

    Time is money. Don't wait. Go for it! :)

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  • YES! :)

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    • seriously?!

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    • well from my observation, being an "ass" is what attracts (generally) the pretty girls. :/

      meanwhile being my good natured self, I attract girls that I have absolutely no interest in.

    • Are you showing girls you are interested? ie. texting, calling, asking out

      Did you tell your most recent crush that you liked her?

      For the record, I HATE arrogant guys and would TOTALLY go for the nice guy in a heartbeat :)

  • Of course there's another, silly! :) Actually several more in all likely hood. You can ask anyone--they will agree. Especially the older you get, it will put things more in perspective for ya.

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  • Absolutely. You'll make someone a good husband one day. You may have to look long & hard for a quality girl who will be a good wife to you, but don't give up--it's a love worth finding. :)

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    • i honestly thought I found her a couple years back, but my persistence destroyed our friendship, it was a pretty weird, confusing time... one of the most difficult times of my life, in fact, the hardest. I wanted nothing more but to just be with her. I wish she saw these attributes in me. it doesn't seem to difficult to see...

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    • I know exactly how you feel, but just tell yourself if she seemed so great & she was not the right one, imagine how great the right one will be. :) Keep looking.

    • i suppose. the thought of completely closing the door on her though, if you will, is really frightening... call me crazy, but like she was one of those girls where you think about the future, and the thought of her in it makes it seem all better, not scary at all. I hope there's another girl like that for me. where a commitment just sounds and feels so right.

  • try to work on your looks and become more attractive and you will have a better shot at it. I'm not trying to be mean but if you are asking for a super beautiful girl, it wouldn't hurt for you to upgrade to "decent looking" to hot by spending a few months working out and taking care of yourself. if you get to have eye candy then why shouldn't she?

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    • yeah. I am working out. I really want to be better.

What Guys Said 3

  • Being a "nice guy" means that you are an anomaly of nature. Men are supposed to act a certain way, and women are supposed to respond a certain way. Women are supposed to act a certain way, and men are supposed to respond a certain way. This is a generalization in nature. So by acting a little different and seemingly more mature than others your age, this makes you notice this difference more. What I think you should do is quit worrying about girls, pretty or not, and work on finding a distraction for this problem. Yes you read that right, a distraction and not a solution.

    Find things in yourself that you want to improve, find things to devote your time to (hobbies, school, work, etc.), just live your own independent life. When you think about things too much, you are constantly trying to plan your moves instead of letting things happen. You will keep stressing about things, including the girl situation, if you let yourself. Once you find these distractions, you will find things to have fun with. You will begin to make them "your element", meaning you are comfortable in those situations. This might just lead to you branching out to other things out of curiosity. Then at some point, you might just realize that you've been so into these things, that the distraction was actually the solution. The person that went into these distractions ends up being a different person coming out the other end, and that change will hopefully give you a boost to your self-esteem that you were able to do this to yourself.

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  • I think I might be in a similar boat as you...kinda stuck between wanting sex with super hot and shallow women OR pursuing a genuinely beautiful girl who has morals etc.

    I've had my share of the former but there's always one hotter...it's never ending cycling of triyng to 'oneup'...but still I think there are women out there who are beautiful and well established AWAY from the party scene.

    Screw the 'boring' stigma...if they call you that then they definety aren't your friends or possible girflfriends... there comes a time to grow up and there are a lot of folks that will never learn that lesson.

    You have to get out there and date though. That way you learn, don't change who you ARE...but be willing to do things for the sake of making the girl happy. This is good practice and will teach humility as well as introduce you to the inner workings of the f*d up female mind.

    Date girls, tell them what you want and see if they agree. There no doubt WILL be girls out there who are attractive and want the same thing.

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  • Don't lie to yourself; women won't wisen up until they're in their 30s, because then, they realize that they don't live forever and have to settle down with a nice guy before they die alone.

    Until then though, you're going to be left out in the cold.

    Sure it's very bitter and pessimistic, but in 99.9% of cases, it's true.

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    • Their 30s?! :(

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    • I honestly wish people could just grow up ya know?

    • Yeah, I agree 1,000,000%, man.

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