How do I STOP feeling like this?

There's this guy who never was my boyfriend but you know, there was something there for about 5 months or so. Anyway, out of the blue he stopped wanting to be with me, never said it but just started acting different and ignoring me. After a couple of weeks of that, he came back in my life as a friend which I accepted without talking about it (we never discussed ANY of this, it all just sort of happened). There's a new girl in his life, not his girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure something happened between them last night because I heard they were going out on their first date. Anyway, ever since I found out about them I can't stop hurting and randomly crying. It's driving me crazy. Knowing that they went out last night is killing me and I literally feel like throwing up. I know it's not normal to feel this way but I can't help it. I feel physically ill and this has never happened to me before. I haven't seen him in two days and I know that's good but I hate it. I keep hoping that by being friends he'll become interested in me again and forget that girl but I know it's stupid and I should get over it.

I just don't know how and what to do. Please don't say go out and meet someone new. It's not easy meeting guys here where I'm from, it's a VERY small town, most guys here are either married, old, have girlfriends or gay. There's not much to do either. No gym, no clubs.it's like a frickin ghost town! I hate feeling so damn sick and hurt 24/7.

Updates:
Thank you all. All your advice has really helped. I needed these words so much =)

I will take in all the advice you've all given me and use it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • So, you live in a VERY small town AND everyone is either MARRIED, OLD, GAY OR TAKEN.

    The town has NO GYM, CLUBS and is a FRICKIN GHOST TOWN!

    So I presume that you know THAT GIRL. How could you not since its a VERY SMALL TOWN.

    Are you feeling so damn sick and hurt BECAUSE;

    A) You know the GIRL from before and didn't like her back then and still don't now and don't want her to be with him as you don't like her.

    B) You don't want to be the only one in town to BE ALONE AND SINGLE so you'll take what ever is on offer, just to avoid being known as the spinster of the town.

    C) Your really frustrated in living in a ghost town and this whole drama is the only thing that is giving you that excitement you want as nothing else happens in your frikin ghost town.

    D) Your pissed at him because you gave him the 'holy grail' and thought that you would be rewarded with the 'girlfriend' status BUT it never happened. And 'THAT GIRL' has gotten further to the 'girlfriend' status in half the time that you did and has put in half the effort than you did. NOT FAIR!

    SO WELL DONE TO RECOGNISE THAT YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT!

    YOUR ALREADY ON YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS IN HALF THE TIME IT WOULD TAKE OTHERS.

    Heres my suggestion;

    This relationship is small fry. ITs not worth your time or effort. You need to think BIG!

    THINK NEW YORK BIG! OR LAS VEGAS BIG! OR PARIS, LONDON, MEXICO, CANADA BIG!

    I don't know where you live in the world BUT you should move out of the frikin ghost town and

    GO LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST. HAVE ADVENTURES, FEEL THE EXCITEMENT AND THRILL OF GOING TO NEW PLACES AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!

    I lived in a little village of less than 100 people in New Zealand and left at 24 years old for Australia with only $300 dollars, no return air plane ticket, no job to go to and no place to live.

    BUT I DID IT BECAUSE I BELIVED THAT I COULD MAKE IT AND I MADE IT HAPPEN.

    I am now 34years old, living in Australia. I have met so many people from around the world and I am going to NEW YORK IN THE USA, CANADA, ENGLAND, GERMANY, ITALY, FRANCE, SWITZERLAND AND THAILAND IN 6 weeks!

    I sometimes smack myself to see if I'm dreaming! I never thought that I could ever live the life that I have. ESPECIALLY since I grew up in a little tiny village of less than 100 people where everyone knew everyones business, there was high unemployment and high teenage pregnancy rates because there was nothing to do in the village. There were people living in unhappy marriages because that was all they knew and no other options available to them. So they stay in the village and their crap marriages for the rest of their long lives. Not really living their lives to the fullest.

    SO GO OUT AND JUST DO IT. THINK BIG, LIVE BIG. CONCEPT BIG.

    DONT WASTE ANY MORE OF YOUR TIME OR LIFE WORRYING ABOUT A CRAP GUY AND HIS CRAP LIFE AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND WHAT YOUR GOING TO DO WITH IT FOR THE NEXT 60 YEARS! GOOD LUCK TO YOU!

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    • Ok, who downrated this?! This is one of the best pieces of advice I've read on this site. Seriously thank you so much, you basically read me like a book. Except for me knowing the girl, I don't know her, she lives in another town. B,C and D were right on target, it's a mix of all of those options. ESPECIALLY C and D. Those kill the most.

      I hope one day I have the courage you did and get out of here. It's scary being on my own in a new place but you are so right. I truly admire you.

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 6

  • Small town eh? When I try to get over a guy I exercise (even if there is no gym), spend time with my friends, enjoy being single, learn a new hobby (cooking, sewing, etc.). The fact that you are so attatched to this guy is a bit unsettling. Not being in a relationship is not an end all. It doesn't mean that you won't ever find love. You're still young. Plus any guy that wants to be with you but not call you his girlfriend is not respecting you. If he tries to come back into your life tell him you're not interested. Do you have any girl friends you could spend time with?

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  • ok you are worth more than just accepting some crap a guy gives you just because you feel like you are out of options. If you want more from this guy, tell him and if he is not on the same page, then move on unless you are a glutton for punishment or are willing to accept his on again off again behavior whenever he feels like being bothered with you.

    Travel, get out of that small town!

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  • Well, I'm married and have been for 10 yrs. I know my husbands friends a little too well! That's what they do when they get bored. I'm sorry to say that bluntly but men are pigs! And the sick thing is, there was something there that didn't make a connection with him. And honestly it could have been a small thing!But you'll probably never find out.

    I know that you don't want someone to tell you to move on, BUT if you already know what's gonna be said then you know in your own heart that's what you should do.

    What bout dating services. I do know a lot of people that have done that and they really liked it, there are even to people I know that married. You talk to them for a while and get connected then if you want you can do the phone number exchange. and if you even have a doubt you just move on. I do hope that helped! ;-)

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  • i know you probably hate it when people say this cause I know if do sometimes but it will get better with time. I had the same problem throughout like 2 years in high school and basically he acted like he liked me whenever I was around him but then I would hear he would go hang out and do stuff with other girls and wouldn't call me and stuff, he did the same thing he would just randomly call me and then stop and even tho everyone said he was the biggest asshole I didn't believe them, so I went through this little stage where I thought I really liked him cause I would be soo upset if I found out about him and another girl. today I have a different boyfriend. but I had feelings for this guy and all that all up until I started liking the guy I'm with today and trust me this guy is NOT worth ur time I know its gonna suck and ur gonna think ur nevr gonna get over him but you will when you find someone who treats you the way you should be treated you're gonna be like what was I thinking? how could I like a guy so much who treated me like that? so all I'm saying is I know its gonna be hard but trust me you will get over it and get over this guy and he is gonna realize what he lost once he sees you happy with someone else, he might even try to come back. so just wait it out and things will get better don't worry :) even tho you think you won't meet anyone eelse. you meet love in the RANDOMEST places,. so you still got hope :)

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  • Well girl I have the same problem and the way I got rid of the feeling is by Finding someone else that really cares for me talks to me. And I think and you need that kinda guy.

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  • im sorry,but I think he likes this other girl.Your gettig realy upset about this if he likes you he would of noticed.i tyhink you need to get over him and move on .It will be really hard but it will be worth it and you will feel a lot happier with yourself.Just try and keep yourself busy with your friends and write a list about this guy about everythin gyou hate about him and his annoying traits and how your better of with him.i think you will be a lot better with out him in my opion from what you have said.

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